<p>Is it too soon to post it publicly, or should I go ahead?</p>
<p>Nevermind. Here it is:</p>
<p>Penns unique One University system that allows University of Pennsylvania students to be part of a unified community, yet attend schools according on their specific interests, is a great model for other universities across the nation. With this system in mind, I will explain why I want to attend the University of Pennsylvania as a whole, and then the Wharton School specifically.</p>
<p>Why Penn?
I want to freeze my bones off in the icy Philadelphia wind. I thrive on diversity and quickly tire of predictability. San Diego weather is much too vanilla for my tastes. I want to briefly get lost in a notoriously rough neighborhood of West Philadelphia (an elderly woman will help me find my way back to University City as tires squeal in the distance). I want to eat crepes with cheesecake filling every Sunday morning from La Petite Creperie. I want to stare into the fireplace and fall asleep on one of the leather armchairs in Houston Hall. I want to wear an expensive North Face® coat and watch a heavyweight crew match against Princeton on the Delaware River. I want to climb the five stories of the behemoth gym and get too tired to work out by the time I reach the top. Or maybe, Ill use the rock climbing wall as a short-cut to the summit. I want to revel in the beauty of a concentration tailored perfectly to my interests (Legal Studies and Business Ethics). I want to make fun of fellow Whartonites who concentrate in Accounting. I want to eat greasy cheese steaks (with wiz of course) from Houston Blaze and chew the fat with the friendly sales clerk named Lois who calls everyone baby. Have you met her? I know I want to go to Penn because my heart starts pounding inexplicably when I see pictures of the campus. I know I want to go to Penn because, even though it is not yet my Alma Mater, I become highly offended that someone hasnt heard of it. I try my best to politely explain that, no, it is not Penn State. </p>
<p>Why Wharton?
During my sophomore year in high school, I entered my Honors Humanities class in a regularly defensive frame of mind, as I braced myself to hear my teachers usual diatribes of society at large. His iconoclastic teaching was a ploy used to provoke heated discussion, wherein no sacred cows would ever remain sacred. One such establishment to receive this teachers abomination was Corporate America and the Corporate Yahoos who propagate its evil. He condescended to imply that retaining any semblance of integrity in the world of business was akin to retaining dryness in a swimming pool. Always the contrarian, I decided on this day that I would go into business. I glibly replied to the teacher that I would one day become President of the Better Business Bureau. Unfortunately, at this point in my life, I wasnt sure what the Better Business Bureau actually did, although I was vaguely aware that the BBB had allegedly created a community of trustworthy businesses since 1912, according to their advertisement. This sounded entirely righteous in my mind, and seemed the perfect counter to a seemingly self-righteous teacher.
Two years have passed since that day, and my plans have been fickle since. I have actually made amends with the aforementioned teacher, and am now able to listen to his excoriations without becoming too defensive of my own opinions. I maintain that my idealism is intact, and I have firmly decided that I will become a lawyer, a music producer, a senator, a high school English teacher, a philosopher, a volunteer philanthropist, or the worlds number-one dad. I contend that Wharton may very well prepare me to excel in any and all of these fields.
My desire to attend Wharton directly stems from my desire to study business. Naturally, I would like to attend this nations premiere undergraduate business school. I share Winston Churchills sentiment when he said, I am easily satisfied with the very best.</p>
<p>What is the point of this?</p>
<p>some kind of bragging rights or something???</p>
<p>no offense dude but it just sounds like you did a bunch of research and sucking up about the school but don't give any REAL reasons for wanting to go there.</p>
<p>Churchill didn't say that. Oscar Wilde did.</p>
<p>I would have left out the references to an expensive Northface coat, making fun of fellow Whartonites, and Penn State (you shouldn't mention another school, especially hinting that it's inferior - even if it may be considered). </p>
<p>The Wharton essay shows little passion for business or specifics about your interest in the area.</p>
<p>Actually, Padfoot is correct.</p>
<p>Winston Churchill said "I am easily satisfied with the very best"</p>
<p>Oscar Wilde said an extremely similar phrase: "I have the simplest of tastes. I am always satisfied with the best."</p>
<p>It is quite likely, however, that Churchill's statement was based on Wilde's.</p>
<p>...besides this, I do not see any point in this thread.</p>
<p>Epic Fail!</p>
<p>I just realized that I probably didn't mention the one university system anywhere in my application, but whatever.</p>
<p>umm, look closely at the essay prompt</p>
<p>Describe the courses of study and the unique characteristics of the University of Pennsylvania that most interest you. Why do these interests make YOU a good match FOR PENN?</p>
<p>clearly the prompt wants you to address why Penn will somehow benefit from having you on campus...granted you've addressed why the unique characteristics you've described interest you, however, you dont indicate why YOU are a good match FOR PENN</p>
<p>also, you dont seem to have addressed why penn's academic qualities/strengths are unique....</p>
<p>Padfoot, this is a pretty good essay and a lot of people are probably busting your balls because they know that they can't write as well as that, but it is true, you need to focus more on the academic aspects rather than Philly cheesesteaks, disparaging Penn State, etc.</p>
<p>Good luck, I'm working on my Why Penn essay too, as a transfer though, and it ain't easy!</p>
<p>There are people who havent heard of Penn?</p>
<p>As you probably know, you write very well, but your essay does not do a good job of explaining what makes Penn (not just the surrounding area) right for you.</p>
<p>you should have emphasized what makes YOU a good match for Penn</p>
<p>would any of you like to read my why penn essay? i'll pm it to you if you like(: i wanna know if its um. satisfactory? haha, nerves are getting the better of me(:</p>
<p>umm, PM me, i'll read yours and you read mine :D</p>
<p>so i wrote my why penn essay on dec 31st and i thought it turned out pretty well... but after looking over it later i think i used way too much stuff directly off the penn and wharton websites :(</p>
<p>how bad is that?</p>
<p>its not bad at all! i got in ED, and my why penn essay discussed the curriculum and social climate, and why the two suited my future plans. universities work hard on their websites so that they reflect the school in the way it wants to be perceived...so it's not bad at all if those are the reasons that draw you to the college</p>
<p>I'd read your why penn essay. PM me =]</p>