My friends and family think I am crazy! Our daughter scored crazy high on her SATs, is in the top 6% of her class of 500 in AP courses, and is the most active student in her school. Schools are vying for her to attend, especially ivy league schools. She has no interest in Harvard, Princeton, Yale, etc. as her friends have been pretty stressed at these universities. Plus, it is so far from home! I don’t want her that far! We checked out Vanderbilt and really liked it. But, also fell upon a beautiful campus at Belmont University down the road from Vandy. It is not in the same caliber as Vandy. I simply want my daughter to be happy in college and challenge herself. People think I am nuts for not pushing her toward the Ivy league schools. Is there anyone out there who gets what I am thinking or am I alone in my thoughts? I hope this makes sense!
No, this is not the case. She may be getting mailings from these colleges, even personalized mailings. So are thousands of other top and not so top students. They bought her info from the ACT or College Board.
Fit is very important. Many people think ‘Ivy or Bust’ and don’t really care if the schools fit their child’s needs or majors or the family budget or values. Many students pick their state flagships because they want big time sports or want to be closer to home or because their parents went there.
It’s all good. Pick what works for your child.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable. I would suggest that you will find anxiety and severe stress at any university, so avoiding Ivies may not be a sure bet to avoid stress. But your daughter should try to find a school that meets her needs instead of impressing friends and family. I also would second @TomSrOfBoston 's sentiment: top colleges are oversaturated with applications from highly qualified students. She isn’t going to be special at an Ivy or similarly high ranked school.
I am not familiar with Belmont University (never heard of it). However, it is very clear to me that just because a student has the grades and SAT scores for an Ivy League school or equivalent, does not mean that it is a good idea to go there. Each student needs to find a school that is a good match for them.
Some very smart high stats kids don’t deal well with stress. For such kids I think that it is a bit of a tussle to find a school which is academically challenging enough so that they are not bored, but not so tough that they are stressed out. Of course there are some features such as very large classes and hyper competitive classmates that can make a school more stressful without increasing the academic content of classes.
I wouldn’t put too much into a “beautiful campus”. A LOT of schools have beautiful campuses. However, I do strongly agree with your not automatically sending your daughter to the most “prestigious” and most stressful big name university that she can get into.
Yes, thousands of kids are receiving similar letters. I am a college professor as well and many universities have emailed me directly as they know me. This doesn’t mean she will get in, of course. It just means that they have sent personal emails asking if she will apply and to meet with their admissions’ office to discuss their campus. There are many kids who receive these letters (millions, according to Vandy), however, I am just saying that they are sending her emails as well as myself trying to get her to apply.
Twoinandone, I agree with you. I am just so confused bc she has worked so hard, yet doesn’t feel compelled to go to Ivy league schools.
Admission to an Ivy League College should NEVER be seen as a reward for hard work. Period.
Dadtwogirls, you are exactly spot on! I had never heard of Belmont either. And, I do know that the aesthetics should not be a primary factor. Thank you for the post.
Its your daughter’s choice where she goes (with your involvement in terms of what you will pay for). Who cares what other people think as long as its a good choice for her?
And a lot of kids are very smart and work hard and don’t go to Ivies. They should feel worse about themselves because of that? Particularly because of someone else who doesn’t live your daughter’s life? Life is far too short.
I cannot tell you how much visiting schools will change you and more importantly your daughters mind. Eliminated a couple of Ivy’s once we visited, and added other schools. Visiting helps determine fit.
CU 123, which schools did you add? My daughter will study in arts and humanities. I agree with the visits. We have done several and have one more next week.
We visited 5 schools, Cornell and Princeton were downgraded from high to low interest after we visited. Brown went from low to medium interest, Harvard stayed high, and UChicago went from medium to high. So as you can see the visits really affected how she viewed the colleges she was interested in. Obviously nothing wrong with any of these colleges, but the visits really help to figure out where she fit in. We also visited her safety school to make sure she would be happy there also. Before the results came out she said that she would be absolutely happy are her safety school. She ended up at UChicago where she spent the most time on the application, so let your daughter choose the school that is right for her.
U of C is a great schoo. I studied under some of the faculty there when I earned my Ph.D. Did she feel safe there? My husband is an ER physician in Hyde Park and sees a lot of crazy things!! I hope your daughter loves it. We lived in Lincoln Park for years.
Of course it’s fine to not want to attend ivys, and I know nothing about Belmont (so this comment is not specifically about Belmont), but a smart, hardworking student should be sure to pay attention to what type of students attend whatever school she’s looking at-- will other students share her interests and challenge her, will classes be taught at a level that challenges her-- which can DEFINITELY still happen at schools that don’t have a completely competitive vibe or schools that aren’t ivys. Just be careful to pay attention to the type of students that attend as well as the size, beauty of the campus, culture of the campus, etc. Also, although my son ended up choosing an ivy, he loved Vandy and it was very high on his list-- in part because students were so friendly there and it has a reputation of very HAPPY students-- while still being academically so strong. There are various college review books and websites that report student surveys, and Vandy always comes out very high on happiness.
Do you know the name of the book? Peers are so important to the college experience. Her friend, who is at Yale, had a very tough first year. Not academically but socially. The poor girl developed hair loss. She was number one student in our state. Think she expects too much of herself and now she wasn’t the biggest fish in the sea. My daughter just wants a great school where she will be happy!
The Princeton Review, “The Best 380 Colleges” (we had the 2016 edition). They base their reviews on surveys. The general Vanderbilt review is very positive, but they also include all these ranked list. Under “Quality of Life,” they have a “Happiest Student” list, and Vanderbilt is ranked #1 (page 42).
Go check out a few ivies, and then decide if they are right for you daughter.
Even if she were to apply to all of the ivy and ivy-peer institutions that people are saying she should look at, there is no guarantee that she would be admitted to any of them. It really, truly, is OK for her to do what she and her parents think is best.
Start with your budget. Then consider her potential majors. When you know those two things, she will have the basics for staring her list.
If you are looking for a low stress school I doubt that the stress levels at Vanderbilt will be all that much lower than at an Ivy league school. Vandy is a high-end school with a lot of very smart kids. It just doesn’t happen to be in the Ivy League. I don’t know anything about Belmont.
I suggest you visit a wide range of schools that your daughter could qualify for. Try Ivy, non-Ivy, state schools, etc. Look for the schools that are financially do-able, offer the major she wants, and are filled with students that are “her people.”