Need help to make it 'Stand Out'

College Essays
1

<p>Discuss how your family’s experience or cultural history enriched you or presented you with opportunities or challenges in pursuing your educational goals.</p>

<p>This is the prompt for UW's personal statement.</p>

<p>I really want to get into UW, but right now I stink at writing my essay. Because there is so much to talk about, but I want to make mine meaningful.</p>

<p>Yes, I am a Southeast Asian who is talking about their culture and family's past history. I am trying to talk about how my family's history influenced me into a better future. Though, it doesn't pop out like 'Fireworks, bananas, monkeys.'</p>

<p>The UW deadline is due in about 20 days. I hope to get a better personal statement in 10 days or less so I could work on the other sections of the essay.</p>

<p>Is there someone reliable that may want to read my essay (especially a senior member, sorry to others). Also, I just wanted to make sure, if I do send someone my essay online, the colleges won't have like a plagiarism website that lets them see that there was another similar essay online and one that was sent right?</p>

<p>But yeah, I could use some tips or revision.
Thanks!</p>

<p>What I really need to do well with my essay
-Get a better introduction (I think)
-Have more sensory details (hear, touch, taste, smell, see)
-About 1 or 2 anecdotes</p>

2

<p>No, most likely what you really need to do is change your topic. Based on your description your essay will be very generic. Here’s a few suggestions:</p>

<p>Choose an anecdote that tells a lot about who you really are, describes personal growth and shows you to be someone who will be an asset to the school, while not being boastful. Also:</p>

<p>Answer the question clearly and in an organized fashion
Capture the reader’s attention with an interesting story and a great lead-in
Avoid academics as a topic (shown elsewhere in your app)
Be much more specific than a better future - that will not distinguish you at all</p>

3

<p>I’ll read it.</p>