UW essay... please critique

<p>1) Discuss how your family's experience or cultural history enriched you or presented you with opportunities or challenges in pursuing your educational goals.</p>

<hr>

<p>Born in the United States, recognized as a permanent resident and citizen of the United States, yet my blood flows of Asian origin, I cannot deny my heritage. Having immigrant parents born in the Philippines, I learned at a young age the importance of having a vision. Their emphasis of education and hard work was exercised through nearly every aspect of my daily life. “Work hard, dedicate yourself, keep a positive attitude. Don’t forget your heritage. Never lose your identity.” These words of encouragement have led me to discover an unrealized passion in me that has strongly influenced my educational goals today. </p>

<p>“Jenny, no one got anywhere only hoping and dreaming,” was my older brothers way of telling me to be proactive through all my conquests. Raised in a household of immigrant parents from the Philippines, being a first-generation Asian American Filipino caused me to face an identity crisis between the two cultures. Do I follow what my parents say, or do I trust my judgment and experiences, and choose my own path? This predicament has caused me to question many of the traditional roles and values found in the Asian culture. Nonetheless, the questioning of my American culture and my Filipino heritage has truly shaped my educational goals, and has paved a path to reach them. </p>

<p>My parents have told me that the fruits of success lie in hard work and determination, rather than in the phrase of ‘I want.’ Being put into piano lessons at age 9, I learned at a young age the outcomes of dedication and perseverance when put into practice. Waking up every morning, my grandma would reiterate the words, “Practice makes perfect. No one gets it right the first time. ” Young, I took this phrase lightly. However throughout the years, I learned how this advice has fed flames to my persistence that has reflected in my success through academics. </p>

<p>Being born into American culture, but raised in a household of immigrant parents, there were oftentimes many cultural disputes. “Many Filipino women become nurses, you should too.” Already aware of my interest of medicine and desire to help those in need, this statement came quite to a shock. My desire to pursue a career in medicine was not found, but rather discovered through my choice to volunteer at a nearby hospital. Although the job of a nurse is highly important, I wanted more. Affected by their struggle to come to America, I am burdened by how to communicate what I truly want. How do I tell them my true wants without disappointing what they want of me? How do I express my strong belief in personal choice to my parents whose first tastes of America were in their late adulthood? </p>

<p>Caught in a cultural clash between what I want and what my parents expect of me, I realized that I do not have to choose. My cultural heritage gave me the background to exercise my educational goals, however my choice to pursue a career in medicine reflects the principle of freedom of choice that America has instilled in me. My cultural background and strong belief in personal choice have fostered in me values of work ethic, dedication, persistence, and hope. The influence of culture through my parents taught me to be the best that I can be because of who they are to me. The obstacles they faced coming to America has made me realize the gift of being born into such a privileged nation. Not only did my heritage provide me with the tools to pursue a career in medicine, but it also taught me that even in the darkest times, one finds matches in their pockets. Armed with strong attributes such as commitment and diligence, my heritage has given me the tools to pursue my dreams.</p>

<p>bump bump bump</p>

<p>That is pretty generic and boring/bland, but then again, I don't really like that topic as a whole for an essay. I don't really think that essay stands out. Maybe I am just being too harsh here. Anyone else have opinions? It felt like you were just listing adjectives to describe yourself throughout it...I mean where is the spice? I'm sure so many applicants will have essays like that. But don't take my word so seriously, that is just my harsh opinion from a quick skim.</p>

<p>safe essay, well written but nothing thats really different from what everyone else will write
i also thought the experinces/examples u used were bland-not bad just
kinda boring</p>

<p>dang.. yeah, I knew it was too bland/boring.</p>

<p>Thing is, I don't know how I could produce a truly original essay with this sort of essay topic.</p>