@overbearingmom you are right! Most of us are looking at it as an “all or nothing” deal. And yes, I will tell my S absolutely the same thing.
Ironically, I was talking to one of my friends today. She has a kid with no issues but a lot of his schools are reach schools for him and he is driving the bus in that house. He did find a school but do nothing it is the right fit for him. One of his coaches happens to be a counselor at our HS so he starting asking for advise. One the of the main things he told her to remember is that over 40% of the kids end up transferring for one reason or another and that the numbers on that stat keep going up. They are selling us a bill of goods and telling families what they want to hear. No says “come to our school because it is crappy”. So my take is that until it is actually experienced one never really knows the outcome. For a kid like mine or a typical kid like hers…