All good choices. But I would do whatever you can to help him with the room tidiness before he goes. It can make for a very long year if the roommate situation isn’t a good one. And kids can be messy but the rooms are small and the other student deserves a good first year too. Also help him with the roommate analysis. a nice kid that would connect with each other is a great start.
A science oriented school with good humanities might be ideal. It’s going to attract his tribe of quiet but good kids.
Good luck. You sound like a caring mom.
Neatness cannot be forced. And sloppiness not uncommon- son fit in well with apartment mates because they were all slobs. Their problem, no one else’s.
Slobs should take less stuff with them to college. I forced my daughter to take two sets of sheets, towels, etc. It was just more stuff for the room, didn’t make her actually use the second towel or change the sheets. For the last few years she’s just taken less stuff and that works better for keeping the room neater. Laundry gets done sooner because there isn’t another pair of jeans or more underwear.
I don’t know about the disability services but you may want to take a look at Hope College in Holland MI and Kalamazoo College. Having a more conservative student body seems to be very important to your son. Hope is a Christian LAC with an enrollment of about 3400 that seems to be more moderate than some of the really conservative evangelical colleges. It has quite strong academics and imo is somewhat of a hidden gem. Holland is very charming and the college is located adjacent to the super cute downtown area.
My info on Kalamazoo is more anecdotal but I have known a fair number of more conservative leaning students who have really thrived there. I’m not sure what the overall vibe on campus is though.
Both might be geographically well positioned if you are coming from Illinois and at least worth a look.
Please check out Lawrence. It’s a good fit. PM me if you like.
@thumper1 I loved post #68 just hadn’t gotten around to responding to @eandesmom yet. A lot of good personal sharing and good vibes. I do know that every Aspie kid presents differently. and will have a different experience. I was fortunate enough to meet my 3 best friends when our kids were in SE pre-school. My S was only there for the couple of months but 2 of the 3 kids ended up in his K class. I immediately invited these moms another kids to my house. And it truly saved us all. My son was really included for the first time and it made me happy. These kids had so much love to share and their mothers saved me from the deep end of the ocean. Over the years, our kids have paved their own paths as they are all vastly different, but the 4 of us remain close as we can truly understand each others lives. Their kids had more academic needs than my son so their college search is a very different one. One child is also trans-gender. Its a challenging time but we are all fortunate in the fact that we have each other.
I was more referring to the schools themselves. There are several posts on threads here that warn that these schools do not always live up to their promises. What works for one kid may not work for the other but I would at least like to know it’s because the kid is not receptive to the services offered and not that the school is not providing them. I’m not sure which way my son will go. There is nothing you can do if it is the former. The kid has to own it, but ifs the school not providing the services then it’s a different story. His owning his shortcomings and how he is is going to manage that will part of our discussion regardless of where he ends up…even if its a CC.
@twoinanddone good tip on sending them away with less stuff. You are a right, it would be easier to manage. The roomate thing is probably going to be tricky but @privatebanker I do plan on spending most of next year trying to prepare him as much as possible. I had mentioned in a previous post that it would not be fair to his room mate so we may look into a single as he may also need a single to decompress. Hoping for a double though. Just wanted to get through junior year. We are working on getting a summer job. Think that will help a bit as he will have a glimpse of real responsibilities.
@roycroftmom good point on switching majors. Believe it or not he is very good at public speaking. His speeches were phenomenal…very informative and lively. I do not however see him as a media journalist. I see him as more of a writer. Perhaps for a political based platform where he can marry his writing with his love of History and new found love of politics, If he doesn’t go the journalism route (or it is not offered English or History are good back-ups for him.
I tried to get him to join the Debate of Constitution team but he really likes his down time so that never happened. I do however have a friend whose husband is a writer for a Chicago paper and also writes books and runs the College newspaper at Loyola University. I am talking to him about mentoring my son. He is a great guy and they both share a love of writing and history so I’m hoping my son can learn something or at least be inspired.
@cellomom2 others had recommended Hope as a possibility. One of my friends has a Lake House in that area so we had planned a visit there late last fall. Weather was bad so we scrapped the trip. She ended up visiting without me while she was up there one weekend. Her fear is that it all of the kids seemed pretty closed minded and would most likely not be very receptive to kids that are a little odd or off (her son is on the spectrum as well). Although my son views are not more conservative side so he would fit in that way he comes off as a little odd as he is quiet and sometimes uncomfortable in his own skin. Hope is small and I’m afraid he would not find enough kids that would be truly accepting of him. I have heard really good things about it though:)
@gatspygirl Yes, I can see that that could be a possibility with Hope. So every student’s college search becomes about balancing all the things that they want and need. For my D she started out wanting an LAC where she could participate in her sport, play her instrument in an orchestra, challenging academics, affordability and warm weather. She ended up at Lawrence so you can see what fell off her list. Wishing you the best of luck finding that balance of a school that will accept both his quirkiness and his more conservative views as well as offer the support services he requires. As he/you go through the process and refine the search he may be able to start to prioritize what are the most important qualities of a school. I found my kids sometimes refined their impression of a school after they had visited other schools and had more points for comparison.
@cellomom2 Someone just sent me a PM regarding her child’s experience at Lawrence. Same criteria you listed and a very positive outcome for their child. I have a good feeling it may be a very good fit. Thank you!! You just reinforced that for me:)
@gatspygirl My D is graduating from Lawrence in about a month! Yay! If there are any other questions you have about it that I might be able to answer please feel free to ask. My D loved her time there 
We toured Lawrence not long ago and I was really impressed. Could be a great off the beaten path fit for a quirky intellectual. My junior son is keeping it on his list but isn’t entirely convinced yet.
@eandesmom Thank you for this list! There are probably not that many will work for us but it’s good to they are there and that it is most likely growing. NYU is a very interesting one. My son could never live in NY (he thought Madison was busy) but I do know a few kids that may thrive with a program with this description in place.
@eandesmom good point on the smaller schools. This was why I threw In a few larger schools that I though could possibly work as they attract a diverse group of kids (Purdue - engineering types, Wisconsin and Illinois attract their fair share of off-the beaten path nerdy types). I know he will not get as much support but you validate my thoughts on him having more of an opportunity to find his tribe. All good things to keep in mind:)
@overbearingmom you are right! Most of us are looking at it as an “all or nothing” deal. And yes, I will tell my S absolutely the same thing.
Ironically, I was talking to one of my friends today. She has a kid with no issues but a lot of his schools are reach schools for him and he is driving the bus in that house. He did find a school but do nothing it is the right fit for him. One of his coaches happens to be a counselor at our HS so he starting asking for advise. One the of the main things he told her to remember is that over 40% of the kids end up transferring for one reason or another and that the numbers on that stat keep going up. They are selling us a bill of goods and telling families what they want to hear. No says “come to our school because it is crappy”. So my take is that until it is actually experienced one never really knows the outcome. For a kid like mine or a typical kid like hers…
My rule of thumb when visiting schools was believe half of what they say. I know of one school that actually cut most financial aid for the majority of students for their senior year. Nothing that you could really do about it since you either pay up or take a leave of absence and work. Since you already have three years invested in the school where are you going to go that won’t set you back (limited number of credits transfer) and cost you more? No @gatspygirl it’s not the school that we have been talking about either.
Another school stated that if you get a good GPA freshman year, you would increase your merit aid. At the end of freshman year, it became a topic of discussion among the students. Turns out it wasn’t true. I couldn’t have been the only parent that questioned that since within a month the head of admissions decided to leave after 20 years (not retiring either).