Bad parents untie!
I’m all for bonding with other parents, @ProudloomisDad… but not too keen on the untying part. Some of us have boundaries… LOL
love autocorrect changing unite to untie.
At least that’s what I think it is 
Surprised that given how frequently autocorrect has recently untied my own words, I didn’t catch on until 3:44 pm yesterday. Disable me.
Just wondering (and of course neurotically thinking ahead), can any of the veterans out there share with us how they handle social events with friends who still have kids in the LPS? We had our first glimpse into this yesterday at a Memorial Day BBQ, where we “outed” ourselves to some old friends. After the initial (and typical) shock, they moved the conversation on to their current and future schools, both good and bad. It struck me at that moment: where will we be in these types of conversations going forward, and more importantly, will we even continue to receive invitations to social events centered around our kids’ former school group? Odd as it may seem, any thoughts on this are welcome!
@itcannotbetrue - Honestly, we found we lost touch with a lot of the families of our kid’s friends, teammates, etc. For the kids and their own friendships, they had to work VERY hard if they wanted to maintain those friendships. For the most part, the majority went by the wayside as different experiences made them grow apart.
I’ve found that for most relationships, out of sight means out of mind.
It’s easier to keep in touch these days with social media, but if you want more than a very surface level relationship, it takes a lot of effort and it can often be one sided.
Gusdad and I have that problem already solved. We just don’t have any friends!
AutoCorrect originally changed it, but I liked it so I left it.
HA! I like your sense of humor,@ ProudLoomisDad.
@itcannotbetrue It is an interesting dynamic, isn’t it? We experienced very similar things. Our child is an athlete. Plays 3 sports but always focused on sport X. Our child is also a very good student and has interests outside of sports.So what always got/gets me is when we tell people that our child “is away at boarding school” the immediate response we get is “Oh, for sport X?”
So many people out there just don’t get that BS offers so many opportunites for kids beyond the obvious. Yes, my child was recruited for sport X but it amazes me how many people think we would send a kid away on the hope that a sport will lead to a career. I mean how may junior high aged athletes ever reach the elite level? It’s a very, very small percentage as you know.
Our child has become involved in arts like never before. When home on breaks adults mention to me how mature our child has become - simple things like being comfortable conversing with adults. They have learned social skills from being in a dorm environment that will serve them well the rest of their lives. They have met people from all over the world.
When our child was finishing out the last few months at the LPS the year before going to BS we actually had people come up to us and say they heard we were moving. Our child’s friends had no idea that over the summers they would be back at home. The misconceptions are frustrating and at times comical.
I will admit that when I am in a social setting and conversations come up about the LPS and all the politics and gossip (small town) I take a perverse pleasure in knowing that I don’t have to worry about that.
So I’m not sure I answered your questions but I can certainly identify with your post. What I can tell you is that I hope your child’s experience is just as wonderful as ours has been.
@howdoipayforthis (BTW, love your user name!) and @doschicos --thank you so much for your insightful posts. While it is sad that some people are not interested in being exposed to other educational paths, it leads me to wonder why, in the first place, would we choose to be friends with them anyway? Shallow friendships be gone!! And, @howdoipayforthis --I am happy to hear that your child has found other interests at BS. This is exactly one of the reasons why we made the decision that we did, to round out our child and expose him to the many extracurricular, academic, and social opportunities that the boarding school environment has to offer. And yes, the misconceptions are at times comical!
I have “come out of the closet” so to speak and have been telling people beyond my circle of close friends. Our kids have an amazing opportunity and I am with howdoipayforthis…shallow friends/people be gone. I am more concerned for vacations/summers for DD as it will be harder for her since she will have to connect with local friends over the summer. NO ONE from where we live goes to boarding school.
Oops…that was @itcannotbetrue about those pesky shallow friends!
NO ONE goes here, either!
You will find that during summers and extended breaks your child might be doing some traveling to visit BS friends or you might be hosting BS visitors coming to visit your child. Another hidden expense of the BS decision. :-S
I had a very negative reaction this week. Strangest thing.
A mother, whose child was admitted to the same school as my child, but cannot attend due to lack of FA, was openly hostile in actions and words to me at a graduation event, in front of a group of parents.
She went off on me when she found out what sports my child would be doing at the school, exclaiming loudly that she was surprised that my child was participating in that sport since she “had heard that my child was not very good at it.” I was shocked that she 1) would say such a thing to me, or to anyone 2) surprised as my child has achieved state level awards, etc.in the sport 3) when told that coach had “recruited” my child for team, said she “did not believe it” as she had “been told” my child was only “mediocre” in the sport.
This was all done, loudly, with many faces and gestures, in front of a small group of parents at a school event
HUH? This mother and child are not even involved in this sport, so, clearly does not know what she is talking about.
And to make it even worse, the kids had been good friends until M10…when her child stopped talking to my child after the decisions came out. Just this week her child had started to talk to mine again.
It makes me sad that she is like this, and, perhaps, even worse, has passed it on to her child.
How completely rude and antisocial. I have seen her twice since then (for my safety, from a distance), and she has not approached or apologized to me.
Has anyone had something like this happen?
@mexusa: Wow. That’s a pretty extreme reaction. I’m so sorry you had to experience that… it must have been terribly awkward for everyone in the group. I guess it just shows how some parents can really go too far in their investment in a kid’s application process. There’s no excuse for that mom’s behavior, but she clearly was hurting and looking for someone to blame for her kid not being accepted to that school. I’m sure her kid is very embarrassed by her attitude and behavior, too. Who knows-- it’s possible that the way she came across in her parent interview played a part in the admissions decision. Schools are well aware that they are not just admitting the student, but will have the student’s family as part of their community for the next four years.
@mexusa sorry you had to endure such a public tirade. I’ll be honest though, when it comes to my children I would not have stood still for it. She can choose to insult me all she wants, I can fend for myself and am present to do so. But children are off limits as far as I am concerned. I would have gone right back at her with a “sorry things did not work out for your family at _________ school, but kindly keep my child out of that conversation.” Or I would have pulled her aside privately and been much, much less diplomatic. I find it incredibly sad to witness adults attacking other people’s children. Really bad form.
And as an aside, in my experience parents come up with a lot of reasons why their child is not attending “xyz” school but sometimes those reasons really just equate to the child not being accepted. The kids are usually very honest with each other and will just flat out say " yeah xyz rejected me." Parents not so much.
Thanks so much for your kind words. The child was, in fact, accepted, but did not get any FA.
I also cannot stand adults taking their own frustrations on those around them, especially a child.
Unfortunately, being a graduation event, I was already emotional and was too shocked to respond. If I had, it would have been very ugly, so, perhaps it is for the best that we were all dumbfounded into silence.
It was that mother’s choice not to enroll her child. If she feels guilty about it, so be it. No reason to drag my child into her own psychological issues.
@cameo43, you are spot on about the whole family being part of the community. Perhaps when she approached them about the FA issue, she demonstrated some of this same attitude. That could be the reason they did not budge, not even a penny.
Oh, and BTW, she did this in front of another family from the same BS. They were clearly very shocked and expressed a lot of compassion towards me.