I’m returning to college for my 2nd year. Unfortunately, during the summer my best friend told me she is transferring to a different school. We had hung out the entire year and she was the only person there that I considered a friend. I have bad social anxiety which makes it hard for me to open up to people. Because of her transferring, I am now being roomed with a random person. I’m afraid she will think bad of me, seeing that I have no friends even after a year of being in college. Just thinking about returning to school with nobody to talk to makes me want to cry. Do people still make friends in sophomore year?
You continue to make friends all throughout college!
It doesn’t matter what others think about you. They are not there to judge you. Typically, university students are too busy caring for their own needs to notice anyone else. Please don’t rely on one person to “save” you.
It’s only what you think that matters.
I know how you feel. I’m a junior with no friends. Just never give up you’ll find someone.
Thank you guys for the kind advice.
I hate that I always care about what other people think of me. It’s like, I’m 19, why can’t I just grow out of this? This year, I think I will go to counseling services to see if I can get help for my anxiety. I don’t know if I can get through college if every year will be like my freshman year.
A large number of students feel isolated their first two years.
My daughter decided to volunteer for certain organizations on campus. She met like minded students and made a lot of friends and was too busy with her activities and school work to contact us.
Now she’s in Spain by herself, doing an internship. Doesn’t know too many people other than at work, but loves Spain.
The idea to see a counselor will really help! GOOD LUCK!
Don’t worry, I doubt your new roommate will think something, and you will get new friends.
By the way, this social anxiety concept is new for me (I started to see it here in CC for the first time ever), and I mostly feel that it is worsened thanks to cultural things backgrounds. I would like more insights if you don’t mind talking about it of course.
You know, sometimes you make the best friends ever when you’re not trying to. I could name at least two friends I got close to in my efforts to get to know a different person better. Life is funny that way. You’ve just gotta go with the flow.
Also, this may be different for me because I’m at a small LAC, but have you considered reaching out to all the freshmen who are just as eager to make friends as you are? I was in a similar situation in my freshman year because I spent all of it wrapped up in my first relationship, and I realized at the end of it that I didn’t have any friends either. I was also self-conscious because I believed everyone saw me as “that weird girl who followed [my ex] around all the time,” so I reached out to freshmen so that I could start fresh (no pun intended).
And I totally know what you mean about feeling like you just can’t get rid of your thoughts even when you know you’re being irrational. We’re our own worst enemies sometimes. Still, I hope at least some part of this post was helpful for you!
Sophomores definitely still make friends! That’s a life-long process! (And as a sophomore last year, I definitely made new friends!)
I’ll bet your random roommate is a little anxious about what you will think of her, too. Focus on being a good friend and roommate to her, and then it won’t matter what she thinks of you (because whether she likes or dislikes you, you’ll know that you did your best to be kind and friendly - which puts the ball in her court, not yours).
Even if your roommate and you don’t get along, you don’t have to be best buddies. You just have to use the same space and be courteous to one another. Friends can come from other places. It must be really hard to have social anxiety, so perhaps clubs and things are stressful, but those can be a good way to at least meet people. My main advice is to be kind to others - most people appreciate that, and it opens the first door to a friendship, perhaps even with someone else who is also afraid to open up. And counseling is definitely a good idea - a professional would be better prepared to help you overcome your social anxiety.
I really hope that this year improves from last year - you can get through! 
Mrduque - I don’t mind at all! Social anxiety is never really talked about, since most of us who have it never admit it to others. Basically, I feel incredibly nervous in rooms full of people. Even one on one conversations can cause me to feel anxious as well. We often feel like we can’t come up with things to say in a conversation. Even after having a conversation, I’ll think about every single word that I said, making sure that I didn’t say something that could potentially upset or annoy someone. Also, going up to people without being invited is incredibly hard for me. I feel this awful feeling in my stomach that stops me from trying to initiate a conversation and my face gets really hot. Even making phone calls can be difficult for me and I have to plan out what I want to say beforehand. Needless to say, I absolutely hate living this way and it’s ruining my college experience. My friends from high school look as if they’re having the time of their lives in school while I’m constantly worrying about how others perceive me.
aunt bea - Thanks a bunch! I’ll look into volunteering too. I’m already set on getting a job so hopefully I can make friends at work.
Philpsych - Unfortunately, the dorm building I’m in is exclusively sophomores. Also, all the classes I’m taking don’t allow freshman so I don’t know if I am able to meet underclassmen. 
was just thinking about this today and telling my sophomore about this. One of my friends in college didnt have a roommate as a junior year in the dorms. she ended up with a random freshman . . . it’s been close to 30 years and those two are still friends. you never know whats going to happen!
I’ve also told my DS many times to develop his own hobbies and interests. Over the years he’ll meet people in those groups and have at least one similarity for beginning friendships. (eg for him: bicycling, swimming, playing pool, volunteer groups etc.) Hope your year goes well.
That’s too bad to hear. There are still ways to make it happen though. One of my best friends in freshman year (who eventually became the aforementioned ex, but that’s another story) was a sophomore who wasn’t in my dorm or any of my classes. I just met him because he was in the dining hall sitting with some girls that, like I mentioned before, I wanted to get to know better. But anyway, we made time to hang out even though proximity wasn’t on our side just because we liked each other, you know?
And that’s unfortunate that none of your classes are open to freshmen. Are any open to upperclassmen? Because mentors are just as good. I guess it didn’t occur to me that your classes would just be open to sophomores because virtually all my classes so far have had kids in all four years. But who knows, that may just be an LAC thing.