<p>This is so great. I feel like you are all my friends, and it's also odd, because we don't really know each other at all-- not our real names or anything! </p>
<p>Anyway, she got home and burst into tears. She talked for a while, and it turns out that it's mostly just, as Jerz says, 2nd semester blues. Her very good friends are shifting and the group is changing. Classes are different, and Jerz, bingo again, there is a housing lottery coming up in a couple of months, and she is feeling stress about it. There are five friends, an odd number, difficult for rooming. A couple of them might want to live in French House, others don't. After a good cry, DD was feeling a lot better and we talked it all out. She has not yet realized that you can still be very good friends and maybe not see everyone every single day, as they did in HS, and they really clung to each other in 1st semester. If I sound a bit fragmented, it's because we got the story in fits and starts over a couple of hours. But, she realized that it is not the school; she is very happy at Brown. And, it would be the same shifting sands of friendship wherever she went to school. She loves her classes and she loves the reading. She is starting to realize that the social world will always be shifting, friends come in and out of one's life. But the academics are very special and that she can focus on her classes because being at Brown is very special and fleeting, in the grand scheme of things. She said, when she went to sleep that this is just a rough patch and she will definitely get through it. She was much happier at being able to have a bit of distance, a good dinner, her parents' hugs, and her own bed for a night. I was very grateful she could come home on such short notice. It was an easy bus ride, it will be an easy bus ride back, and yes, we are VERY glad that she is close enough to take this kind of overnight breather. </p>
<p>Thank you all, again, for your support. I am really grateful. By the way, my real name is Sue!</p>
<p>How excellent! Carlos Castaneda wrote of a "Place of Power" from which one can make good decisions. Your home was that place for her! Aren't you proud?</p>
<p>Are these five friends friends from HS, or kids she met at Brown? It never occurred to me people would go to college with their best friends. I didn't know anyone where I went to school. I can see how that would ratchet up the emotions.</p>
<p>Franglish, my husband who is
1- not the most perceptive man in the world
2-not prone to over- react when it comes to the kids
3- a long time believer in "tough love"</p>
<p>actually bundled us into the car for a 4 hour car ride to "take the kid to brunch" one Sunday because when they spoke on Saturday night it was sufficiently concerning to him. Second week of second semester freshman year; kid coming down with a bad cold so sounded tired and cranky; housing for the next year up in the air; the usually social kid sounding lonely and a bit at loose ends. To this day I don't know what set my husband off. However, we got up early Sunday morning, did the drive, drank coffee and ordered french toast for the now feverish kid, dropped him at his dorm after offerring a trip to CVS for cough drops, ginger ale, trashy magazines (all turned down; said he could cope) and then we headed home.</p>
<p>H to me on the drive home, "Wasn't it great to reassure ourselves that everything is ok?" Got home to message on the machine, "Really appreciate you making the drive to see me and it was so nice to get off campus for a few hours even though I generally love it here".</p>
<p>Sometimes just having a parent validate your feelings of ickiness or lonliness or angst is all that it takes. Franglish, so happy things have settled down.</p>
<p>I was talking to my daughter over the weekend (it's been 4 weeks since she went back to school), she said to me, "Mommy, you miss me,don't you? I miss you too."</p>
<p>I miss her so much I am taking the younger daughter up to visit her in 2 weeks. We are going to a spa around her school. It will be girls' weekend. We are going to get facials, massages, and watch chick flicks.</p>
<p>Ohhhh you guys are such precious parents. I'm sure mine feel the same way even though they don't always get so mushy on me. </p>
<p>I'm going home to vote for super Tuesday tomorrow which is a really nice excuse to get a night off from school. I really do love it but every once in a while it's nice to have my old crew around. I'm actually looking forward to going to lunch with my dad, running errands with my mom, picking up my most recent paycheck from work, and grabbing a bite with my friends before showering in a giant shower and sleeping in my own bed!</p>
<p>Refreshing. Isn't it cool to see that your kids are really becoming little self-sufficient adults that are now comfortable with admitting that they need you?</p>
<p>Youdon'tsay-- These friends are new friends, made in, like the first few weeks of the first semester. That may be part of the problem, in a way, they really don't know each other and when the going gets tough, they may not really know what each other needs. Interestingly, one other girl "escaped" to home for a day also. </p>
<p>Yesterday morning she woke up in a much better frame of mind. I took her out for French toast and we talked a lot. I asked if it felt better now, and she said she was ready and happy to go back to school later in the day. She said it was SOOOOOO good to come home. Bethie-- I know what you mean- I never thought I would hear these things. My daughter really is very private and keeps most of the hard emotions bottled up-- a discussion for another time. She called when she got back to campus, had met up on the bus with this friend who also went home and sounded fine. So the worry meter is down to about a 2. It's not a 0, maybe never will be, but we are grateful that she could come home and feels we are a haven for her. I needed to know that she felt that, and have that affirmation too! So it was a wonderful 20 hours. Thank you again, CCers for all your kind and supportive words. Even though this is the internet, it really matters. And kristin-- your words meant a great deal to me. You sound like a wonderful young woman. Don't ever feel that needing someone is a weakness. When you realize it, and act on it, it is such a sign of strength! All the best to you. Happy voting! And happy growing up...</p>