<p>I'm 18 and I've never had a boyfriend, never even been kissed. Partly because of self-esteem issues, partly because of my parents, and also all the guys who have ever liked me were not attractive to me.</p>
<p>I feel like I'm ready to get in a relationship, but I'm not into the whole idea of "hookups" or relationships where you like someone but they're just "dating around" and things like that, which I think is going to suck for me because supposedly that's what college is all about. I just don't know what to expect, and I feel like I might be easily taken advantage of (not with sex necessarily) and confused by guys because of my lack of experience. This is the part of college life that freaks me out the most. I'm the kind of person who takes their relationships (whether with friends, family, professional) seriously and I take things really personally, and I'm already stressing out about what I'm going to do if I get involved with a guy I like to find out that he wants to be dating a whole bunch of girls to try it out and not have a girlfriend. :(</p>
<p>I don't even know if I want to admit this to anyone once I get to school because it's so embarrassing to have never had a boyfriend at my age, but I don't want to have to lie about it.</p>
<p>I’m in the same situation as you. I have never been romantically involved or any of that stuff. My advice is to embrace your singleness. You may feel like you are ready to get into a relationship right now, but don’t be pressured or rushed because everyone else is doing it or just because you can. Hold some high standards for serious guys because there are guys out there that want the same kind of relationship that you do. I am one of them. You will meet some of those people some day. </p>
<p>If you do get into a relationship, spend time on it and cherish it, but be ready to walk away if he turns out to be someone that you don’t like. Don’t make the mistake that so many girls do and stay in a relationship that doesn’t meet your standards. If you don’t know what is acceptable or what to do in a specific situation, just ask your friends, parents, professors, other responsible adults, or even CC posters, whoever you feel comfortable talking to.</p>
<p>Singleness is a wonderful thing and don’t be afraid of it. You have more freedom to just be you and continue to live your live without trying to live up to someone else all the time. Make lots of friends (even guys if they are that type) and have fun that way. People really don’t care if you have a boyfriend. It shouldn’t be embarrassing at all. People will respect your decision if you are confident about it. You can still have fun and experience college without a boyfriend.</p>
<p>Don’t worry about relationships. Just focus on what you’ve been doing for the past 5 years or so. Get good grades. Worry about that stuff later. If you start worrying about whether or not you can get a boyfriend, you’re going to distract yourself from the real issues and things that you should be focusing on. </p>
<p>You can always get a boyfriend later on in your life, I mean being a 40 year old virgin is becoming much more common. I wouldn’t fret so much over it. Just enjoy yourself and enjoy this experience.</p>
<p>You are going to have a great time in college.
One of my friends (I’m a grown-up now) did not go on a date until her junior year in college. She always said she was picky and she didn’t want to waste her time. She met an amazing guy her junior year, fell head over heels crazy in love and they’ve been married twenty years now. He’s still a great guy and their kids are cute.
You should join whatever groups interest you and spend your time doing things you like. This issue will work itself out.</p>
<p>Heh, i never dated either, but I am a bit scared jumping into this dating thing. Never done, always seen friends do it, and looks terrible, all the constant texting, the girl friend/boy friend voice, the “i gtg, sorry, s/he called” on a planned date with the guys/girls.</p>
<p>lol logicwarrior now you are putting it into terms i understand!</p>
<p>a professor in one of my classes a year ago used parties as an analogy for explaining concepts to the class . . . up until he realized that most didn’t get it. later in the class he started using video games as an example and then, yeah, the class nodded its collective head in understanding.</p>
<p>That’s one of the least comforting things I’ve ever read =D. </p>
<p>To the OP, I wouldn’t worry about this stuff, especially before you even get to college. I’m kind of your opposite, as I believe that people our age *should * date different people–date, not have sex with–rather than getting serious so early, but I’ve never had a problem finding guys whose ideologies matched mine, so I suspect you won’t either. Two of my friends started college last year, and within a month or two they each had a sig. other. So you shouldn’t have any problems.</p>
<p>I was never in a relationship/was never kissed when I first went off to college. I had self-esteem issues too (that I still have, but are a lot better).</p>
<p>A lot more guys in college have had interest in me than in HS. Theres way more guys that are way more varied and not as many feel peer-pressured to date a certain type of girl. I had one bf within the first couple of months. Broke up and found another bf a couple of months later. I never randomly hooked up either, or got drunk. I’ve been to very few parties.</p>
<p>I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, especially with my 2nd bf and we’ve been dating over a year.</p>
<p>Just be friendly, talkative. Don’t let a guy take advantage either (unless thats what you want, of course) because of your self-esteem. If you want to be with someone then be with them, but don’t do it purely as a confidence booster.</p>
<p>Don’t go out trying to pursue a relationship. If it happens it happens, if not then it will in time. (:</p>
<p>See being a guy is so much harder, we have to get up the nerve and go talk to the girl. </p>
<p>The easiest way for a guy is to get with another guy that is good talking to girls and go up to some girls and have the other guy do the work and you reap the benefits.
It does no good to have a wingman that is bad with girls.</p>
<p>Just a word of advice from my last weekend, don’t hit on girls that are by themselves at bars in vegas, they are usually hookers…</p>
<p>Gonna say that dating is never a bad thing. You should learn from your mistakes.</p>
<p>And how do you think so many of those happy loving romantic couples got together anyways? A lot of them were just “dating and hooking up” before.</p>
<p>Get out of your comfort zone and take some risks. Learn from your mistakes, date not because you think you’re gonna end up marrying the other person but because you want to find out what type of person you will want to marry in the end because honestly, at this point in our lives most of us still got no clue what we look for in the opposite sex.</p>
<p>Also, there’s no shame in saying that you have no experience in dating. I would however say that you go out and get some experience though. It’ll help, and it can have a very positive experience in your life.</p>
<p>I’m not really against dating or anything as long as both people know what exactly the relationship is, I just don’t like the ones where the guys make you think that they’re really serious about you, but then they flip the switch and say that they’re just goofing around. This happened to a few of my friends in high school and it looked like a nightmare, they were always in some kind of a love triangle and the guy was constantly going back one his word about what he was actually doing (like one second he would say he was my friend’s boyfriend, then two days later, he was saying that he was just dating around and that my friend wasn’t really his girlfriend). I hate drama, and I want to avoid it as much as possible. I just want to be on the same page with the guy, not be totally confused by what it is that he’s trying to do.</p>
<p>@ monstermuddy, yeah I guess being a guy probably is harder, but a lot of girls these days have more aggressive personalities than they used to, and they have the mentality that they get what they want, so there are girls who approach guys too. </p>
<p>And I have actually had a guy do that to me for his friend, but it became practically sexual harassment after a while, because I kept telling him no, but in all my classes, he would try to sit next to me and tell me all the great things about his friend who was extremely immature. Like trying to convince me that I shared the same birthday with him and telling me that even though he was white, he was “black in the pants”. I was kind of traumatized for a while, because they wouldn’t get off my back. I asked him why he would still want to go out with me after I had rejected him so many times (because if I was ever rejected by a guy, IDK, I think I’d have like a “screw you” kind of attitude) and he said that it made him wanna try harder. </p>
<p>That’s why I never liked any of the guys who liked me. But I never told any guy that I liked how I felt.</p>
<p>All great advice in this thread so far, just one more thing to add. Although you may never had a crush or liked any of the guys that asked you out, you could go on a date with some one without expecting it to turn into a relationship…Let him buy you dinner or take you to the movies and if you dont like him after that keep looking, but first dates can be an eye opener somtimes and you might find somthing in a person you wouldnt have known existed. My girlfriend really did not want to go out with me at first, infact I don’t know why she did in the first place really, but she gave it a chance and we have been togethor for awhile now just because she gave me a chance on the first date.</p>
<p>Lol, ive got deep pockets. Just kiddin!!! Nah, I don’t know she just went out with me and liked me after that, not much else to say. Half the people who have posted did not even read the original post and are posting more advice how to get girls. lol</p>
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