<p>Here's my issue... in high school I was the typical "all american teenager". Involved in all kinds of stuff, grades of mostly A's and B's, friends to hang out with. The only thing is, and it really is a big deal to me, is that I didn't ever have a boyfriend. Sure, there were a couple guys that I guess you could call "my boyfriend", but it wasn't really much. I know at my high school, honestly, nobody really dated. It was all just going out on weekends with friends.</p>
<p>This fall i am going to NYU and I want to make a change- have a boyfriend. I don't know why guys havent been attracted to me before. I don't have a problem talking to guys... in fact, that is a big part of my problem. I have a ton of guy friends, but thats all they really see me as. And it's not that I'm tomboyish, quite the opposite in fact.</p>
<p>So this next year, I would really change something, the reason why guys don't see me as a potential girlfriend. I'm not overbearing, overweight, or intimidating. what's the deal then?!?!?</p>
<p>Is anyone else having this problem? and, what am i doing wrong?!?</p>
<p>If you have a bunch of guy friends and you aren't a "tomboy" then it is extremely likely that at least a few are attracted to you. I have heard of guys being friendzoned by girls but I can't say that I have heard the opposite much - plus the average guy is at least a little attracted to his female friends on some level </p>
<p>in any case that hardly matters now since you'll be going to college....it sounds like guys at your hs didn't date from what you said but at NYU there are bound to be guys looking for a relationship</p>
<p>thanks for the replies.
maybe its also my fault b/c i haven't made myself seem available to them. just always relied on the friend relationship.</p>
<p>Get to be friends with people. You'll end up talking to some people more than others. If you're lucky (which will probably happen after at least a few months), you'll start talking with a select few (one, perhaps) <em>alot</em> more. You'll get to know them really well. And you'll probably end up really liking them without even realizing it, and them the same. From there... clear sailing, unless they happen to have not broken up with their HS significant other yet...</p>
<p>Eh, it'll probably be a bit easier in college, with more people and more opportunities to interact with people. I found it easier, but I'm a guy. You shouldn't really TRY to find a signifigant other though. Hang out with people, one on one, and if it works it works and if it doesn't it doesn't.</p>
<p>yeah unless you start flirting with one alot and make it obvious youre interested they arent very likely to make a move out of the friend zone with you</p>
<p>I read on some yahoo thing (bless the yahoo welcome screen lol) that 1 in 5 guys are attracted to their platonic female friends. If you have a lot of guy friends, your chances are high that at least one of them is attracted to you romantically.</p>
<p>Well, I guess if you think about it, there are about 20,000 undergrads at NYU. Forty-something percent are guys. Factor in that maybe 10% of the guys are gay (haha, but it's true), and you've got about 40% date-able guys. That's 8,000, and then there are all the other ones uptown. So chances are we'll all find SOMEONE.</p>
<p>I'm a lot like you. Actually, my situation is pretty much the same thing, down to the same university. I think my problem was that I just assumed everyone would know, and I never even told my best friends who I liked until my senior year, so... Now, I've basically learned to at least tell someone if you like a guy. Doesn't need to be the guy... just a friend is good. It's a lot easier with help, I think. That's what I'm going to try, at least.</p>
<p>Wow you went to a good school if you didn't have to face peer pressure of dating, but I know exactly how you feel about not having a boyfriend. I don't care what anyone says it sucks and I can truly relate! Even when older people tell you, or peers say "well that's good that you don't have a boyfriend" I think it's a bunch of bull because they can't relate and would probably feel the same if they were in the same boat as you! Honestly, in college you will get dates trust me and guys will like you! So many men, so little time but relationship wise go for someone older and try to avoid someone your age most likely they're pretty immature and not as honest as the older men!</p>
<p>I'm a guy, and personally I'm attracted to shy girls..not TOO shy though..they have to be REALLY feminine, smell good, look nice and have a cute smile....so if you have a lot of guy friends, it's kind of like your are part of the "Alpha" males, and they won't consider you as date-material. Think back to your roots! Hehe.</p>
<p>But in all seriousness, think about it, it makes sense. If a girl has too many guy friends, they deviate female standards and thus we perceive you differently, no matter how you spin it, thats how it is.</p>
<p>Just a scenario for you: There was this shy girl in my college who really liked me (I never spoke to her before), told her friend (who was pretty outgoing and not shy), and her friend eventually told me (after a few months of starting college). I went on a date with her, but it didn't work out, although I must admit I wasn't really interested in prolonging the relationship (she wasn't really my type, beyond her shyness), and didn't really make a conscious effort to be her girlfriend. But that's how getting a girlfriend usually works out, at least in my experience.</p>
<p>Guys are easy-- as they get to know you if they like you they will flirt with you. It's very simple. Not even like as in, "I really want to date this person," but flirt as in a, "Let's see the response and take it from there." It's a natural feeler most guys will put out with even a semi-attractive girl to them as they're first getting to know someone.</p>
<p>Do you flirt back with that guy? If you didn't, or tried not to, then you don't have to look any further. You quenched the guy before he let himself get interested.</p>
<p>As a guy, this is how it always works with me and what I've seen with friends-- we flirt with practically any girl as we first get to know them, see what hte response is, assess and consider the girl as potential girlfriend/dating/etc material, and then make a choice. But the response is crucial and you may be sending most guys a big sign saying, "I'm cool, but not looking for you to go there." It's rare a guy will even let himself get to the point of it being difficult to back off once that blocker goes up. He won't fight for you if you tell him it's not going ot happen right from the start.</p>