Hmm, just now saw this thread. I think that the roommate’s demands are a little over the top, but the attitude that they are “nuts” is just the other side of that coin.
Someone who is a total slob does affect the other person in the room, so I don’t agree that it’s actually “none of the roommate’s business.” Yet someone who is compulsively neat cannot dictate anything and everything she wants.
Compromise is in order, and I especially think the Op’s daughter could accommodate the desire that her bed be made and the floor free of clutter at minimum.
@thumper1, lol, I obviously posted before reading the thread. Didn’t think I would be able to catch up with 19 pages. I hope her withdrawal had nothing to do with the OP’s daughter and this situation. Maybe her demands were symptomatic of underlying problems.
Thanks for the heads up. I will try to find the part about the roommate leaving.
The idea of having our own private space - and privacy, in general - is relatively recent. Up until the 19th century, even affluent people shared sleeping spaces and had little, if any, privacy.
Humans are not biologically wired to need privacy - it’s a cultural construct.
In the military, I don’t think they get their own room, do they? Doesn’t everyone sleep together in a bunkhouse? If it’s good enough for America’s bravest young men and women, it should be good enough for our young people in college.
Also, many young people travel together and camp in one big tent, sleep in hostels that are basically bunkhouse type rooms - most young adults are more flexible than we give them credit for…
So, I found the update. Too bad for the roommate. Hopefully she will be more comfortable commuting from home to another institution or finds a better match.
D2 has never had a roommate. She lived in a suite situation her first and second year, then moved into a small house for the last two years. D1 had a roommate her first year only, then had a single from then on.
I agree that having to share a bedroom, particularly with a stranger, is not the ideal situation.
Zobroward,
They said they still had the same balance of singles, doubles and triples, and did away with some “half wall” thingys. No way will they convert it to an all single dorm and lose needed housing space. I think you are trying too hard to prove a point that doesn’t exist.
jym626 not proving anything , I never said they did that just giving example of major dorm renovation. I was trying to show an example of a renovation more than new carpet and paint in the lobby.
I give up, zobroward. The reality is that old dorms are not going to be gutted and turned into singles only. A new dorm built may be a singles only dorm, and its probably more likely for upper classmen. But is an existing dorm, especially on a campus with limited space, going to cut back on its housing by converting one with doubles/triples into singles only? Ain’t gonna happen.
And those new singles at TAMU that you linked? They are in the hinterlands, way across campus from all the other housing. Says they might be good for Ag. students or med students.
@BeeDAre, introverts definitely need privacy. Extraverts, not so much. Perhaps introverts didn’t get privacy until recently, but the need is not a cultural construct.
Introvert or extrovert- most everyone enjoys some private time. But BeeDAre’s examples are good ones. The military basic training is about “togetherness”, and the bathrooms have no walls. As DH said, “you take a poop in front of g*d and country”.
Some of this might be more specific to American culture along with the economic/space factors as some British universities long maintained living arrangements in which even first-year students had their own individual rooms in buildings dating back centuries.
On the flipside, US students sharing doubles, triples, or quad rooms may want to count their blessings compared with their East Asian counterparts up till the late '90s* as in the latter case, the standard living arrangement is to pack 6-8 undergrads into each room about the size of a small-medium sized US double.
Saw this firsthand in Mainland Chinese university dorms in the late '90s. When I relayed this to my parents and older relatives, they reacted with some surprise at how that's one aspect of the Chinese/East Asian college experience which hadn't changed from what they remembered from decades past in The ROC(Taiwan). Then again, they didn't view it as a hardship back then due to the general lower standard of living back then along with the fact that like many US families....even well-off Chinese families routinely sharing bedrooms. In fact, a child having his/her own bedroom or being an only child would have been considered quite unusual in many communities in the US and China in the mid-20th century and before regardless of one's SES.
Also, in case of the male students, nearly everyone either came back from completing 2 years of military service as conscripted enlistees or were about to commence that service upon graduation as conscripted junior officers. And while the latter had better conditions in many ways, having single rooms to themselves in on-base housing wasn’t one of them.
Oops, something got left out of post 292. In basic training, the idea of “togetherness” means open barracks with single or bunk beds. No walls. Then there is the “no bathroom walls” issue on top of that. Ugh.
Both of my kids enjoyed their singles freshman year, but looking back, I preferred to have a roommate because I was afraid to sleep in a room by myself for a long time. I grew up in a large family and always shared a room. For a long time, when I was a young adult and had to travel for business, I didn’t enjoy sleeping in an hotel room by myself.
Interesting. I came from a large family, and LOVED it once I was able to have my own bedroom (and that didn’t happen until I graduated from college). Even now, on the rare occasion my DH travels, I love having the house to myself. Through the years, I have taken the occasional trip by myself or gone to our lake house alone when DH couldn’t come with me. I love it.
That’s good debate technique, but not too logical. The students are paying customers, not members of a volunteer military. I-bankers are not brave, they shouldn’t get their own hotel room or fly first class!
In the military they may share during basic training (6-8 weeks) but enlisted personnel usually have private dorm rooms with private baths. There are decorating competitions on You Tube that show some nice places.