<p>My son says he doesn’t want to go to the dinner. Thinks it will be “lame.”</p>
<p>(((sigh)))</p>
<p>Just sent a message to Susan Haynes asking about transporation. I will let you all know her response when I get it.</p>
<p>Slippy - I just looked at the invitation and it said this was “required”. My son doesn’t really want to go either, but it is very little to do for the wonderful scholarship he received. Plus he can meet other potential roommates for the coming years.</p>
<p>What does “required” mean? Are they going to pull his scholarship if he doesn’t go to a dinner? Of course they aren’t.</p>
<p>My kid, unlike most of yours, fancies his independence and detests the idea of being a good little soldier doing what everybody wants him to do. Just the way it is. </p>
<p>That said, he’ll probably end up going, but conscientiously objecting.</p>
<p>Any chance that this dinner is when they will hand out the iPads? Anyway, if the invitation says “required”, I would strongly urge my student to attend.</p>
<p>I would also bet this is when they will receive their iPads. </p>
<p>LadyDi~there wasn’t a dinner last year :)</p>
<p>The dinner may be where the iPads are passed out. There will likely be a group pic. While scholarships won’t be pulled, to not go is rather disrespectful after being awarded a $120k scholarship…unless for a very good reason.</p>
<p>Slippy, I find your post offensive. To suggest that the other NMFs don’t “fancy their independence,” and that they are somehow robotic “good little soldiers” is insulting.</p>
<p>The NMF students pick up their Ipads from the bookstore anytime after they move in until the end of August so some will already have them before the dinner. But mom2 is probably correct as this is when the group picture will probably be taken.</p>
<p>^^^Mom, please don’t be offended. As a member of Slippy’s community, I know where he’s coming from. </p>
<p>I also didn’t attend my scholarship dinner when I was a freshman in college because I not only didn’t have proper attire, but I was in that rebellious, freedom seeking age. It was not until I was in my third year and finally got to know some of the other scholarship kids that I realized that I had missed a wonderful opportunity to meet other kids who were not “good little soldiers”, but instead, were regular kids just like me.</p>
<p>I’ve learned the hard way this past two years that pressuring them into doing things they don’t want to do just makes for ill feelings and miserable home visits.</p>
<p>My son is looking forward to attending the event AND dressing up - guess that makes him the weird one - </p>
<p>Pass my smelling salts please!</p>
<p>“Required” is required, there will be many events that are required like Honors Convocation, it is something that you just have to do.</p>
<p>I’m just describing my son and the way he is, not passing judgment on anyone else. I apologize if it came across that way. </p>
<p>I cannot force my kid to do anything he doesn’t want to do. Of course I occasionally try, but not with good results. As I said, he will probably go. He is not antisocial, just ornery. But he has already earned this scholarship, just like he earned scholarships to other schools. If he makes his grades (and he will), I couldn’t really care less if he goes to some dinner or not. He is an adult. Sorry to shock the conscience of all you helicopter parents on here, but that’s the way I feel.</p>
<p>And this is not the first of my posts that you have found offensive. I’m not going to lose sleep over it.</p>
<p>“it is just something that you just have to do”</p>
<p>Again I ask - - what is the penalty for not doing it?</p>
<p>Sometimes it’s good to do something because it’s the right thing to do, not because there’s a penalty for not doing it. </p>
<p>I’m glad to hear your son will probably go, Slippy. It shows respect and appreciation for what he’s being given, whether or not he’s “earned” it without attending the dinner.</p>
<p>Wow Slippy - I guess I understand your son’s inmature attitude but you supporting it is a bit off. There are many things in adult life that people do because it the right thing to do - not because they want to. My dd has been invited to things because of something she “earned” and goes - sometimes because she wants to but often because she is respectful of the “giving” party.</p>
<p>“not passing judgment”??? Hmmm…let’s see…</p>
<p>1) “My kid, unlike most of yours…”</p>
<p>2) “Sorry to shock the conscience of all you helicopter parents…”</p>
<p>It’s a good idea for these kids to learn that ADULTS have to do certain things (even if they think that they might be lame)… Your job may “require” you to attend a meeting, so you go…even tho you know that you won’t be fired for skipping. Your family may expect you to attend something (a family wedding, etc), so you go…even tho you know you won’t be disowned if you blow it off. </p>
<p>It’s all part of maturing and growing up. Adults who never learn these lessons do suffer in various ways professionally and socially.</p>
<p>FOR THE RECORD, I have encouraged him to attend the dinner, and will again. But I will not hover over him to make sure he goes. He is an adult. Hopefully he will do the right thing. If he doesn’t, it’s on him. In the end, it is not that important in the grand scheme of things, any more than the color of a dust ruffle in the dorm room.</p>
<p>I was just trying to get some clarification on the meaning of the word “required.” Apparently it doesn’t really mean “required,” just the “right thing to do.” Thanks. I certainly know what required means. If a judge tells me to be in his chambers at 9:00, there is a consequence for me not showing up prepared. If my wife tells me that I have to have dinner with her parents, then I’m free to decline (but there will be other, more egregious, consquences). Like most human beings, I will do what I am required to do and use my best judgment as to the rest.</p>
<p>Basically what this thread has been reduced to (it would appear) is a lecture on my parenting style. Or perhaps my maturity.</p>
<p>^ Was that before or after you reduced it to passing judgement on “most of” our kids and on “all you helicopter parents”? FWIW, I couldn’t care less about your maturity or your parenting skills, but you can keep your insults to yourself or expect that some people will respond when you decide to post them.</p>
<p>^^^Amen to that randomparent!!</p>
<p>We HAVE progressed to the point that this thread actually has TWO instances where parents suggest attendance so that their NMFs can meet OTHER NMFs with which to potentially BECOME ROOMMATES in the the future!!!</p>
<p>Lions and Tigers! OH MY!!! ROLL TIDE ROLL.</p>
<p>Let’s make it light, guys. How about the kids get dressed up, look nice, and go meet members of the opposite sex! Who care about roommates. Some of these boys have been going to all male schools for the past five years. I’m willing to bet they’re looking forward to meeting some pretty ladies!</p>