No bid to Fraternity

I rencently got through rush week at my college and I thought I had made some very good connection with some of the people in the frats I was rushing. We had good conversation and I even talked to them outside of rush. However when it came to bid day I did not receive a bid from them. I thought we were getting along great but even after bid day when I saw the same brothers I was getting along with and I tried to say hi they simply ingnored me. I don’t really recall doing anything to irritate them during rush. The only thing that I could possibly think of is during one section of the interview one of the brothers tried to indmidate me and asked me if I was sacrad and I said no and giggled a little bit which made him angry. But that was only one brother and alot of the other guys really liked me. What do you guys recommend I do? Should I reach out to the recruitment chair,rerush those houses next year, or give up on Greek life allthougher. I am not a big drinker and that did raise concern in one of the houses I was being interviewed at.

Sometimes there is no good answer. Just like when applying to schools, you might be qualified but they just didn’t have enough room for everyone. Did you consider any other houses? If you decide to rush again, go to all the houses and keep an open mind.

My nephew’s best friend didn’t get into the same house as my nephew. He’s a great kid, has lots going for him, but somehow rubbed one of the upper classmen the wrong way. He’s very happy in another house now. They live in a house with guys from a couple of different houses. It all works out.

Thank you for your response! Is it normal for brothers who you befriended during to give you the cold shoulder if you don’t get a bid?

I would say that is not normal. Anyone with any social grace or maturity would not behave that way. Having said that, I’m sure it happens. You have to ask yourself would you want to be part of an organization that treats people that way?

The last point may have been a point of concern at one of the houses. Honestly if you aren’t a big drinker, there are plenty of great and more meaningful ways to get involved than in greek life, which despite all its efforts to rebrand itself, does emphasize drinking and partying in social interactions. There are numerous clubs and organizations to get involved in that will provide you with a fulfilling group of friends, and significantly less expensive too.

Not sure what school you go to but do a search about Greek Life at your school and that might give you some insight into what they are like. Remember, during rush it is the job of the members to make people want to join their fraternity. The more interest they generate, the more people they have to select from to extend bids.

Each school is different and each chapter is different in what they are looking for in a new member. One main thing though is can they see them selves hanging out with you. At the end of the day they are looking for guy’s they want to hang with when the weekend comes. If your conversations was all about academics and you didn’t balance it out with what you like to do in your free time, that could have been a negative.

Do some of them tend to be less friendly to guy’s they didn’t extend a bid too? Yes, I know that can happen and usually its because they don’t want to have to deal with trying to explain why you might not have received a bid. For some, this might be the first time they’ve had to reject someone and they are still learning how to deal with it from their side.

Honestly, not being a big drinker wouldn’t be a big concern and wasn’t back in my day. Most people going through rush are under 21 anyway and underage drinking is a bigger deal then it was back when I was in college.