<p>*but no one of them every dare to approach me with sexual/flirting/dating intentions. *</p>
<p>Perhaps if you felt more comfortable with your social skills you would not be as concerned about a man possibly flirting with you and instead could recognize it as a compliment and gracefully decline, much as the young women gracefully decline when * you * make a pass at * them* when they are not interested.</p>
<p>Eurograd, let me get this straight: </p>
<p>So YOU can’t tell who is gay or not:</p>
<p>“I talk to gay ppl on a daily basis, as probably I don’t even know who’s gay or not in majority of social sitatuions (not all open gays are flamboyant or dress with a revealing fashion choice).”</p>
<p>But you expect and believe that gay men have some special built in antennae that detects who is hetero and who is not? </p>
<p>“However, gays don’t have to bother us, the regular guys, with their intentions or desires. They ought to use their own gaydar to find other gays they can approach.”</p>
<p>So questions for you:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>Given the degree of animosity shown towards gays (your post is a good example), don’t you think plenty of gay men appear heterosexual, such as yourself? And they work really really hard to keep it hidden? And therefore, how is a gay guy to know if he’s approaching the wrong person? </p></li>
<li><p>So you have scientific evidence that gay people have a special antennae that heterosexuals do not have? Within which journal has this appeared?</p></li>
<li><p>And suppose they do have this built in special talent that heterosexuals lack. So you’d retaliate because what, their ‘gaydar’ is broken? Or they ignored it? Or didn’t hone their ‘gaydar’ skills enough? Or exactly why would you be mad at them? </p></li>
<li><p>For what purpose would a gay guy purposefully hit on someone they know is heterosexual, only to be rebuffed? Do you hit on women you know are lesbian? Do you always know in advance whether they are interested in you or not?</p></li>
<li><p>And where do you classify bi-guys in all this analysis? </p></li>
</ul>
<p>I really think you ought to explore why you are so incredibly threatened. You honestly sound angry and actually frightened. Are you worried that others might think you are gay? Why is that important to you? Or is it a worry that you might not be displaying your hetero-macho-ness enough for their ‘gay-dar’ to pick up and therefore would be deeply offended? </p>
<p>I am saddened that someone can get through four years of college and just lack basic critical thinking skills.</p>
<p>I see the Gay Panic train arrived right on time. </p>
<p>Oy vey.</p>
<p>four years of college and just lack basic critical thinking skills.</p>
<p>Not to mention the grammar/spelling ;)</p>
<p>S was often taunted in the cafeteria by a bunch of idiots who kept calling him gay (S is straight). A guy in one of his classes (who he didn’t know was gay) asked him out on a date. S didn’t get bent out of shape, he just said “Sorry, I’m not interested–I’m straight.” How hard is that? S didn’t “out” the guy or try to embarrass him, and they got along just as well in class as they had before. No harm, no foul–just as if a girl he wasn’t interested in had asked him out.</p>
<p>You’d better be careful expressing your homophobia so virulently, Europegrad. You are aware, I’m sure, that more than one study has shown that the more homophobic a self-identified straight man is, the more likely he is to be, um, stimulated when shown gay porn while a plethysmograph is hooked up to a certain body part.</p>
<p>For example, see Adams HE, Wright LW, Lohr BA (August 1996). “Is homophobia associated with homosexual arousal?”. J Abnorm Psychol 105 (3): 440–5. doi:10.1037/0021-843X.105.3.440. PMID 8772014, at <a href=“http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/u47/Henry_et_al.pdf:[/url]”>http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/u47/Henry_et_al.pdf:</a></p>
<p>
</p>
<p>So if a gay man ever has, or ever does, flirt with you or “hit on” you, please consider the possibility that you might very well have set off his gaydar. One never knows.</p>
<p>After all, if you’re secure in your heterosexuality, why could you possibly care if some gay guy is friendly towards you? What are you so afraid of?</p>
<p>Of course, I have no idea what you mean by “hit on” in this context. Saying hello to you? Asking you to join him for lunch? Suggesting that you go in an alley so he can bleep your blank? If it’s the last, most gay men aren’t in the habit of doing that even with other openly gay men (contrary to whatever lurid stereotypes you have in mind), let alone with men they know are straight or aren’t sure about.</p>
<p>So the next time a gay man asks you to lunch, please go ahead. File a harassment complaint. Knock yourself out, and make a complete fool of yourself. Pah.</p>
<p>stevensmama, Your son sounds like a great kid, you must be proud. Thank you for raising him to be a true gentleman. </p>
<p>I am sorry he got teased.</p>
<p>Thank you, m.s, for introducing some facts and logic into this thread! ;)</p>
<p>Just doing my job, Ma’am.</p>
<p>everyone knows you can tell a gay man apart-
They all just look like Elton John!
Or Liberace
Or maybe Rock Hudson?
Or Rupert Everett?
Wait, I know, Greg Louganis or Brian Sims.
Maybe George Takai?
Or Sam Adams?
I give up- I always thought that * Queen* came up with their name because they were patriotic!</p>
<p>My 8th grade S has vitiligo (white hair). In computer class, the kid next to him had a picture of a basketball player on his screen. My son said, “Hey, that looks like you.” (Tall, black male wearing the same color/style of jacket). The other kid said, “No it doesn’t. THIS looks like YOU!” He googled “Old Man” and showed my son a picture of a white-haired wrinkly old man.
Then my son said, “Well, THIS looks like YOU!” He googled “Ugly Black Man” and showed him a really ugly picture. Then the other kid said, “That can’t be me, I’m not black, I’m mixed!” The whole exchange took about 30 seconds and the kids, who are friends, were laughing.
Unfortunately, when the kid said “I’m not black, I’m mixed!” he said it a bit too loud, and the teacher tuned into this “racist incident.” Three kids (another kid yelled across the room) were taken to the principal. The teacher called me, all choked up, and said she will never think of my kid (who is an excellent student, never been in trouble) the same way again, and implied that my kid is probably picking up racist attitudes at home because I wasn’t taking this seriously enough. (The teacher asked me to have my son show me the picture he showed in class–my first thought was, “Porn!?” When I saw the actual picture, and my son explained what happened, I was relieved, and I’m sure my tone of voice sounded like I didn’t think it was a big deal). When I told her my son said they were just joking around, and no one was insulted, she said, “That’s what ‘they’ always say to try to get out of it. . .” When I pointed out that the other kid made fun of the way my kid looks (genetic disorder), too, she said my son was “wounding the other child to his core,–race is different.” Even though the other kid also said they were joking around and no offense was taken, the teacher said “he must be so used to dealing with racists that he doesn’t even know when he is being wounded to his core!” Then she said, “Believe me, I know what I’m talking about because my daughter is half Hispanic and I’ve had to deal with this. . .”
She was actually crying, and I was starting to feel like I was in the twilight zone. (And I wondered: “Menopause?”) She brought up the district policy on bullying, racism, etc. and said that these kids are old enough to take responsibility for their actions. . .
So I politely agreed that the kids shouldn’t be talking in class or getting into pictures not related to the lesson, and said my son would have to accept the punishment the principal gave him. Any opinions on who should be punished/how seriously/for what in this case? (Then I’ll tell you what actually happened.)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>sigh…would that more men looked like Rupert Everett…(as a teen I had a pretty serious Greg Louganis crush going…I just looked up some pictures of him in a tiny speedo back in the day and I realize why!)</p>
<p>mathmom asked:
“If you accepted the punishment as “just” why did you treat the suspension as “vacation days”?”</p>
<p>As I previously stated, My husband, DS and I agreed that DS violated school policy and that the punishment was justified. When I described the suspension days off as “vacation days” I merely treated them as scheduled days off. The school’s policy for missed assignments during unexcused absences also applied. DS was not given any concessions for the lessons & work he missed. We did not “pile on” any additional punishment such as grounding or restictions from TV or computer, etc. during the suspension. DS had to face the consequenses for his actions. </p>
<p>Consolation stated:
“It would appear to me that this school has totally failed to protect your son. But that does not mean that someone else should be allowed to be bullied also. Sounds like they have a lot of work to do. Perhaps the “Christian Athletes” should spend some time thinking about exhibiting christlike behavior such as kindness and compassion.”</p>
<p>The school did not fail to protect my son. My DS chose not do address the teasing from the beginning. I believe we are all capable of letting some things roll off our backs one day and without warning the same annoyances gets under our skin the next day. Since my DS never brought the teasing to anyones attention; parents, faculty or staff had nothing to act on.<br>
At no point did I describe or imply that the “Christian Athletes” behaved non christlike. My DS just happen to share a small part of his day that coicided with “FCA Club”. The exact scenario and over heard rumors could have occured at ANY HS club ( Debate Club, Spanish Club, Young Democrats Club, Young Republicans Club, National Honors Society, Ski Club, etc.) </p>
<p>pugmadkate posted: "… I find your speculation to be off-putting. You are an adult. Find out the facts first, then proceed. </p>
<p>I have so much I want to say but I cannot even speak to you except to say that I do NOT join in your “hooray” for the underdog who stoops to the level of bullies. You can support boys being forced to use violence, I will not join you. At all."</p>
<p>Yess, I am an adult. This OP was presented to inquire if other parents had knowlege if their HS school had a policy permitting a homosexual student to use the opposite gender’s restrooms. I have not bashed homosexuals. I stated I would object to a written policy that permitted a homosexual (gay) student to use the opposite gender’s restroom. We all seem to agree that Bullying is wrong and punishment is necessary and justified. </p>
<p>I stand firm on my three cheers for ALL the underdogs out there. I don’t like to see anyone hurt. Bullies have “rights” too! At least in principle that is how it should be. </p>
<p>I don’t have any statistics to back this up but I know I am not aloan in my cheering section. “Poetic Justice”, “David & Goliath”, “The Bad News Bears”…just a few examples when the bad guy is confronted by the underdog.
I am not proud that my DS stooped to the bully’s level by tossing his pencil bag at the friend that was 45# larger than he. I’m proud of my DS for standing up for himself and making it clear that Tourettes is a medical condition that he can’t control.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>That teacher needs to get a grip. Just because it happened to push her buttons doesn’t mean anyone did anything wrong. I don’t think anyone deserves any punishment. If it happened this year and your S is still in that class, I’d be very concerned that the teacher would be biased against him and blow anything he does out of proportion.</p>
<p>
Hijack alert!!!</p>
<p>I always had a crush on Greg when he was diving. I saw him yesterday on “The Art of the Athlete” on FitTv. Oh my God. When I tell you that he is even more beautiful now than he was then you have to believe me. GORGEOUS is not a good enough word. Polished, sophisticated, articulate. As my daughter would say, God was in a good mood the day he made Greg Louganis. </p>
<p>Back to the thread.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>And I think the consensus response you received was that not only has nobody ever heard of such a policy, nobody believes that such a policy actually exists anywhere for gay (non-transgender) students. Why would a gay boy want to use the girls’ bathroom? He’s a boy. If he doesn’t want to use the boys’ room because every time he goes in there somebody stuffs him into a garbage can or pulls his pants off or shoves his head in the toilet and flushes – all of which happened not infrequently to certain kids at the high school I attended – then it’s far more likely that provisions would be made for him to use a single person bathroom. Not the girls’ room.</p>
<p>To be honest, I’m astounded that an adult would give any credence at all to such a rumor.</p>
<p>Hey Europegrad, “Thanks, but I’m not interested” works equally well for a hetero woman being approached by a hetero man she has no interest in, as it does for a hetero male being approached by a homosexual man he has no interest in. Why should it bother you so much? Very odd.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>It makes no sense whatsoever and it sounds like a rumor. The proper response to a boy putting on makeup in the boys’ room is to counsel people to leave him the heck alone, not move him into the girls’ room (as if girls couldn’t be equally as vicious as boys to someone who is “different”).</p>
<p>When my son and I toured his current school prior to his applying, the tour guide (a Senior) told us, “For many new students, this will be the first school they’ve attended where some of their classmates are openly gay. Well, some of our students are gay, and if you don’t like that, then you probably shouldn’t come here.”</p>
<p>I thought that was awesome. They are absolutely, 100% intolerant of intolerance. It makes for such a wonderful atmosphere.</p>
<p>That is awesome.</p>
<p>Agreed. Which school is that, mantori.suzuki? I’d be very interested to know.</p>