<p>So I've been having a really rough time adapting to college, long story short. I've always had social anxiety to a certain extent, and going to college out of state with no one I know has made it monumentally worse (I do have a friend at a nearby college, and honestly I think her being around is the only reason I've made it through so far - I go meet her every weekend or two and it really helps - I'm just unhappy when I'm actually on campus). </p>
<p>Things have been getting better since my first few days when I was super depressed (crying constantly, not eating, etc.) - I like the people in some of my classes and can talk to them when I'm in class, and I love being on debate team, which I joined in the first week of school. So when I'm in those situations I'm not lonely because I have people to talk to - but I haven't hung out with these people outside of those contexts and I'm not really sure how to go about doing that.</p>
<p>The main problem that I want some feedback on is my efforts to make friends with people. In high school, I was super quiet around people I didn't know and tended not to initiate things at all, just waiting for other people to invite me to do stuff (not the case with my super close friends, but most of the time). This worked out since I had established friend groups, though I knew it wasn't ideal. Since I got here, I've been really pushing myself to get involved on my own and try talking to people. But I'm getting really frustrated and sad because I feel like I'm putting in tons of effort and not getting anything in return. During welcome weekend, I hung out with these two girls and it was fun for an afternoon, but after that they ended up talking only to each other when I was around and not to me, so I just left that situation alone and tried to make new friends. But the same thing keeps happening; there's another group of girls in my dorm who I feel more comfortable around and for awhile I was really hopeful about being friends with them. I even took what was a huge step for me by inviting myself in to hang out with them when they were hanging out in the room across the hall (still not sure if it was intrusive, but since my problem is that I don't talk to people for fear of being intrusive, I think it was a good thing, and they didn't seem to have a problem with my being there). So whenever I manage to get involved in things with them it's fun, but they never invite me to to anything - they're always doing things as a group and just don't include me, and I don't really know what I'm doing wrong.</p>
<p>So to summarize all that, I've been trying to put myself out there and make friends, but the fact that no one ever invites me to do anything and it's always me making the first move is making me even more self-conscious than I usually am, and I don't really know what to do. I'm just tired of putting myself out there and nothing coming of it, and I'm sick of getting nothing in return.</p>
<p>Has anyone else been through this? Did it get better? Is there something that I should be doing differently?</p>