No time for despair

<p>Many of you will be receiving good news over the next few weeks. Based on ED statistics many more will be receiving news of disappointment. I just wanted to leave a note to both parents and students. </p>

<p>Do not despair!!</p>

<p>My super great best of all time son was rejected at HYP, WUSL, Stanford, Rice and Northwestern last year and not a single letter was easy to read. I can say with great confidence that what seems like a disappointment today might just be the first step to happiness. </p>

<p>I started posting here November of last year and will share the short story. Fall of his senior year wonderful son started receiving contact from numerous universities. Due to my lack of process understanding he was very much behind in terms of preparation. I felt that due to my lack of knowledge and the late preparation his options were limited, I had let him down. I came here and read of the students who had perfect GPA’s. 2400, SAT’s, coached essays and multiple interviews and knew we would fall short of those standards which made me even more depressed. Not only where other students his academic equal or superior but they had a better plan. </p>

<p>With advice here he and I created a list of schools, got recommendations and began the process. In the end there was no Cinderella story. He was rejected by all Ivies he applied (3), rejected or waitlisted by all of the school listed on the “top universities” (5) ultimately to be accepted by (1) that he decided not to attend and accepted by a few of his match (2), some even with money. By the time he was accepted by the “top university” in question he had decided that it was a great school with a great name but in his chosen major (Chemical Engineering /Material Sciences) our local state university had a better program. </p>

<p>Now here is the funny part, my son is as happy as I have ever seen him. By going to our <very large=""> State University he was able to participate in a summer program at the school that included 6 weeks of living/attending classes on campus and 6 weeks of placement in a research laboratory (paid). He enjoyed regular direct contact with the assistant dean of his school while forming relationships with upperclassman (who gave him all the books he would need) and graduate students. This program, only available to him at this school was like rocket fuel to his college career. He just completed his first quarter, 18 hours that included independent research in a graduate lab (the same lab from this summer), hall senate, a nomination to be an orientation/senior visit ambassador, membership in multiple organizations all while doing very well academically. Despite the multiple (10) applications to other schools, one year later he can’t imagine being any happier no matter where. He is starting the process of trying to be a RA next year. He LOVES his school, community, classes, professors, dorm, TA’s heck even his roommate!</very></p>

<p>My point, happiness is a state of mind not a place. Over the next few weeks or months if you find that you didn’t get into the “uber face melting” school all your parents friends will recognize, don’t give up, don’t think everything is over, don’t despair, happiness might be just around the corner you just have to go find it. </p>

<p>Parents, the support you provide these young folks over the next few months might just be the most important ever, do it right.</p>

<p>wow its great to here such a wonderful story like that of your son. You’re right, the #1 rule of the college process is to pick schools that you LIKE, meaning you would be happy attending that school no matter what, whether it be a safety or a reach. Your son seemed to pick a great list. College is really about where you’d be happy and too many people are blinded by their need to attend a prestigious university or an ivy league school. It’s great to hear how your son found happiness after some tough times, and i wish you and your son the best of luck in your future endeavors!</p>

<p>Your son may think he’s happy, but think of how much happier he’d be at Harvard.</p>

<p>Just kidding ;)</p>

<p>“I felt that due to my lack of knowledge and the late preparation his options were limited, I had let him down.”</p>

<p>Thanks for the encouraging story, but you should never fault yourself for your child’s admissions results. It was his job to get everything in order and take the necessary steps, not yours.
Not that it matters now. :-)</p>

<p>Golden, </p>

<p>Funny you mention that (I know you were kidding) but he has two friends who did get into Ivies and lets just say one is happy but the other is not, not at all. </p>

<p>Just a note, my post was not intended to brag (which is why I pointed out his rejection list) but to point out all the cool things you can do at “regular schools” if you have a positive attitude. </p>

<p>I495- I hear you but the guidance I’m talking about would have started back in the 10th grade with activities and course selection, summer activity choices ect…ect.</p>

<p>True, but if your son chose not to participate in extra summer activities and clubs, I wouldn’t force them on him. “Strongly recommend” them, perhaps, but nothing else.</p>

<p>I495 I actually agree but in retrospect (always 20/20) we could have done a better job helping identify those programs and opportunities. </p>

<p>Don’t get me wrong I’m happy with the results, what I was describing was how I felt last year while experiencing the anxiety and pain of watching him open numerous rejection letters.</p>

<p>I now realize that things were never as bad as I thought and I hope other parents/students don’t let this process bring them down too low.</p>