<p>My child has recently started at Michigan (freshman) and lives on a non substance abuse floor. The student is OOS and loves the school but is finding that a lot a kids party and is having a hard time finding those that don't despite the orientation statistics saying 25% of the kids at Michigan dont drink. It seems to be more of an issue on the weekend - which makes sense. Any of you having a similar experience with your freshman son or daughter and what are you telling them besides joining some groups, knocking on doors in the hallway, and being open to new people, etc. My child lives on the North Campus if that helps.</p>
<p>I would reassure him that people like him are around, maybe just more quiet. The partying continues but does calm down as the term goes on and the reality of exams and papers takes hold, especially among freshmen of whom many are “drunk” on their first taste of freedom.</p>
<p>I would agree. Most “non-drinking” students entering college tend to experiment and are peer pressured into doing things they do not really want to do. Students feel that they need to make friends quickly, and the only way to do that is through drinking. Once the school year gets moving students won’t be as pressured to drink.</p>
<p>I am a student who doesn’t drink…the students who don’t drink generally don’t go around broadcasting it as much as the students who drink inadvertently do. It just takes longer to find us.</p>
<p>I’m going to double what Emaheevul07 said. I’ve made a number of friends and acquaintances who are (or atleast appear to be) non drinkers, and didn’t even try to find people who are specifically non drinkers. They’ll appear.</p>
<p>Hi there. My son is a sophomore and is not a big drinker at all. In freshman year, he went to many of the parties, drank pop, and watched the backs of his pals who drank. But through doing things like umix at the league, getting involved with festifools, etc. he met more people who either didn’t drink or weren’t especially fond of public drunkenness So a lot of weekends he’d go to plays, performances, open mic, sit in with guys at the radio station, and other things that did not necessarily focus on drinking. He also went to dance parties wherever he could find them (apparently more beering and less dancing at most of the frat parties). So let your son know there are a ton of things to do and that he will meet folks of ALL types if he just goes out and does them and isn’t afraid to go to places alone. Good luck!</p>
<p>transplant9, echoing what others above said…just tell your student to pursue his/her interests and the right group of friends will develop. It takes time. There really are a large number of students that aren’t into the party/drinking scene, they just don’t draw as much attention to themselves as the beer pongers do. </p>
<p>The first semester of freshman year can be the hardest socially, especially being OOS and not being able to come home as often as the instate kids do. My D was contemplating transferring that first Thanksgiving vacation, but by spring break she had found her niche and couldn’t wait to get back to school. Now in her 3rd year, I couldn’t even get her to come home this summer!</p>
<p>As others have said, it tends to be harder to find the non-drinkers, but they are definitely there. It’s really, really easy to spot the kids who go out every weekend–they’re the ones walking down the halls of the dorms in big groups every Friday and Saturday night with (likely) a few drinks already in their systems. The non-drinkers might be the ones who are in their rooms watching a movie with a few friends. They might be the ones who have gone to other events around the city (concerts, plays) but are just a lot quieter about leaving.</p>
<p>Another thing is that not drinking doesn’t necessarily equal not going to parties. I know a ton of people who don’t drink and who still go out on the weekends. If that is something your child might be interested in trying, they should. I’ve done it before. It is 100% possible to go to a party here and not drink. People are way too busy drinking/dancing/other various things to notice that any one person isn’t drinking, and if one doesn’t want to drink, they generally aren’t pressured to. I, personally, don’t like parties all that much–they’re too loud/crowded for me, but that has nothing to do with me not drinking. I do know people, though, who absolutely love doing that. For the record, that’s what my parents told me to do. I was feeling isolated and like I had to drink to feel like I was part of something, and they told me to try going to a party but to take along a bottle of pop to drink instead. Obviously, my parents would prefer I didn’t drink as well, but they knew that I needed to try going to a party.</p>
<p>I mostly just bring up the possibility of drink-less partying because you asked for suggestions other than the standard pieces of advice. For what it’s worth, I ended up joining a club last semester that I absolutely love and that has enough things going on that I usually have something to do for it every weekend (though not necessarily at night). I think everyone finds their place sooner or later, but it takes time and it takes an open mind. One of my biggest mistakes in the first two or so months last year was thinking that because I didn’t instantly find a group of friends, I wouldn’t and then closing myself off because of that belief.</p>
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So a lot of weekends he’d go to plays, performances, open mic, sit in with guys at the radio station, and other things that did not necessarily focus on drinking. He also went to dance parties wherever he could find them (apparently more beering and less dancing at most of the frat parties). So let your son know there are a ton of things to do and that he will meet folks of ALL types if he just goes out and does them and isn’t afraid to go to places alone. Good luck!</p>