<p>My envision of this summer with d is quite different than I thought it would be. College is virtually next month. D is more "mouthy" then ever and quite frankly not wanting to be around that at all. I thought it would be such a wonderful last summer. Wondering what your experiences are/were. Ya, I figured there would be some pulling away, but did not think I would be feeling this way:/</p>
<p>I hear you! My D and I have had some struggles, but I think she is really trying to prove to herself that she can handle EVERYTHING on her own before she goes to school. She gets irritated, and shows it, if I try to handle things or question her about everything from her job to her laundry! I am not tolerating the rudeness, and make it clear that I don’t deserve to be treated or spoken to with attitude, but I am trying to also back off a little, leave more up to her, and let her make her mistakes/successes on her own to learn from. At the pre-orientation at my D’s college, the VP for Student Affairs told parents of the months and weeks to come, and how our kids might react as the stress grows over the summer. He sent 4 of his own to school, and told his stories with humor. They let me know that the “attitude” is maybe masking a bit of un-recognized “fear”, so I am working hard to hold my tongue and help my D feel completely confident, ready, and destined for a great experience. I keep joking that she is going to go off to school, and then I want MY “full ride” to a tropical island for a week to take effect, because I totally deserve it!</p>
<p>OMG, we have the same kids! 
Although mine is a S…and sassiness is an understatement. He is dictating to me what he will be “available” for, afterall, it’s his last summer with his buddies!</p>
<p>He is an older senior, with his birthday at the beginning of the school year, so he feels waaayyy ready for college already and it can’t come fast enough.</p>
<p>He works only 15 hours a week, actually 3 days a week, 5 hours a day at nighttime, so he has all day to hang out with his friends and is taking full advantage of that. The things I want to accomplish…help him clean out his bedroom to get ready for college…and all the college buying will take place as long as we limit it to a few hours a day so he has time to hang out with his friends. He’s got to get the summer reading for college book read too, although he is focused when he sets his mind to it.</p>
<p>College will be good for him. Hope he will see at some point that life doesn’t always revolve around him! I think most teens are the same way.</p>
<p>My d just can’t find a job, and knows is seems futile to try at this late date. So we seems to say no a lot. It’s hard for the high school mentality to get the next step in life comes with more responsibility. I know, our fault for not making her get a job sooner. It is all about the friends. I get that, but I don’t need the backtalk to go into overdrive.</p>
<p>Remember when they were 2 and needed to “prove” how independent they were?..</p>
<p>S1 graduated from college and I remember in full detail how awful and horrid the summer was after HS graduation. I feel your pain! I realize now a big percentage of it was fear. I’m not sure why they have to declare independence in such a brutal manner. He was my first to go and I had been nervous (understatement) most of his sr. year. I was ready to ship him off way before August!</p>
<p>It was a rough first couple of months, but I started (small glimpses) of seeing my kid back by Thanksgiving, and it continued to get better after that. By the time he came home for freshman summer, he was a pleasant (for the most part) and hard-working young man. I hear that a lot. No one wants to talk about it, but mention it in a group of parents with slightly older kids, and you’ll get a lot of sympathy and empathy. Hang in there!</p>
<p>Trust me, you’ll miss the kid, mouthiness and all, in a few months.</p>
<p>Search “fouling the nest”.</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/958932-summer-before-college-parents-survival-guide.html?highlight=fouling+the+nest[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/958932-summer-before-college-parents-survival-guide.html?highlight=fouling+the+nest</a></p>
<p>hilarious @shrinkrap, fouling the nest @ jym626, that is exactly why this makes me sad, because I know I will miss her. @ everyone else, thank you for your insight. It is very helpful.</p>
<p>And they do actually grow up into normal human beings. Be patient. I have been amazed at younger s’s maturity. Still not totally finished cooking, but he is browning nicely :)</p>
<p>Whew, respectful1…isn’t it great to learn that they become human again?</p>
<p>Thanks for your insight, guys…can’t wait for the transformation to take place. In the meantime, I will definitely miss him anyway while he’s away at school…for the most part! ;)</p>
<p>Our worst time with D1 was the summer after her first year. She was sassy and soooooooooooo much more. She is now a one year after graduation professional and will not even talk about that summer. haha</p>
<p>However, that summer added many more wrinkles and grey hairs to her mother!</p>
<p>
AGAIN?? I think it was a first time for younger s!!</p>
<p>I am glad I am not the only mother going thru this pain. </p>
<p>I really wish I could get thru to my DS that he should treat me with respect. I understand that he wants to be independent, but why does that indepence have to cause me such heartache. For 18 years I have been responsible for him and now he thinks I can just turn off the switch and not worry about him. </p>
<p>I want to be able to spend time with him during his final days at home, but I am constantly told that I can’t ask questions and don’t need to know what is going on in his life. I just hope that a few months away from home will help him realize that he really doesn’t have it that bad.</p>
<p>"isn’t it great to learn that they become human again? "</p>
<p>Still waiting…</p>
<p>@ragincajun87, being dismissed emotionally hurts. Epecially for us mama’s that went to every game, every award ceremony, and even put our lives on hold to raise them right. Oh, she turned out great alright, we made sure of it,and that I am most grateful for. But hat is what we are suppose to do… but the backtalk is just making me, well, really irritated</p>
<p>Glad it’s not just me. I unleashed a verbal torrent the other night, because I dare ask my princess to bring her dishes (from the previous night) to the kitchen from the family room. </p>
<p>She does have a nice babysitting/nanny job for 25 hours/week, however I’m ready to pull her car keys if she keeps up the attitude.</p>
<p>49 days and counting…</p>
<p>DS is considerably <em>less</em> surly than usual now that he’s graduated from high school and ready to get on with college life. He’s been pleasant and helpful and generally agreeable, which is kind of freaking me out. I do sense that he’s treating us just a tiny bit as loveable, addled, old poops…“Oh, parents…what will they think of next?” but I’m biting my tongue as long as the “pleases” and “thank yous” and “sure, I’ll help you with thats” continue.</p>
<p>At our house, it’s more a sense that D’s freedoms should be unbridled! The kid has 2 jobs, one almost full time as a lifeguard at the city pool and another, just a few hours a week at the local dance studio, so she’s gone a lot. But, she broke up with a long time boyfriend, and has decided to play the field. This isn’t a bad thing, in and of itself, but geez, she thinks she ought to be able to go out every single night, and it’s driving me nuts. I know i’ll miss her next month after she moves out, but right now, all I want is a night of going to bed without hounding someone to get her butt at a reasonable hour so I can fall asleep.</p>
<p>So, not quite the same 'tude, but definitely with all of you thinking this is not the summer I envisioned.</p>
<p>Oh - I remember last summer very well! My son was preparing for his first year at college and he was about as ‘sassy’ as it gets. He now admits that he was a little scared - his life was getting ready to change drastically. </p>
<p>After a shaky first semester (grades) he seemed to buckle down and have a great year. This summer has been pretty good. He is home - has a 20+/hour a week summer job. He has been fun to be around this summer (most of the time). Next month he will be in an apartment for his sophomore year. My guess is that he will try to work in his college town next summer (since he will have the apt) so I am almost sure when he leaves next month - it will be for good. I am sure I will cry again when he leaves.</p>
<p>Hug your kids - tell them how proud you are of them. Tell them you know they will have a wonderful year. Let them know it is o.k. to be scared but assure them you will always be there. Tell them this ‘testy’ period before they leave is normal - that is why we are able to drive off without them when our instinct tells us to never let them go. Good luck - you will survive this!</p>