<p>Hey there. I just moved in yesterday, and all I have to say is what a hectic gathering! After the whole process was over, it was time to say good-bye to my parents. That all went well, and I headed back to my dorm to meet my roommate for the first time (I moved in before him). When I met my roommate, it was really short and blunt. Basically we shook hands, told each other our names, and he was off to go work out or something.</p>
<p>I decided to wander the campus a little bit after that to try and meet some people however, I found that it seemed like everyone was hanging with their new roommates, and having a great time. I wandered for about 30 mins and then headed back to the dorm. At the dorm, I came back in to noticed my roommate was playing ps3 with 3 random guests who did not go to the college. I don't mind that at all one bit, however it was a little strange to see being I JUST moved in. </p>
<p>As the day progressed, I continued to leave my dorm and try to meet people, but just like every other attempt I failed. I didn't run into anyone to even chat with. I was even scared to go to the dining hall by myself and eat because I did not want to look like a loser. I proceeded to go back to my dorm and just hang out after all the issues. </p>
<p>At this point I have no idea what to do with myself. Classes don't start till Tuesday and I find myself absolutely alone. I can't connect with anyone here, and my last hopes are when I start classes that I meet someone to hang out with. I really am a nervous wreck and don't know what to do with myself until then.</p>
<p>I feel like I'm locking myself in my dorm at this point while everyone else is having a great time. I don't even want to introduce myself anymore because I feel that will be awkward since everyone already has their tight nit group of friends. Here are my questions for you: First of all, how can I overcome my fear of eating in the dining hall by myself? I'm basically starving myself because I do not want to be frowned upon. Secondly, what do you recommend I do to meet people? Thirdly, if you have any words of advice or anything else to add please feel free to let me know. </p>
<p>Edit: I'd also like to add that I am a very introverted person. I'm not a partier at all, and really don't see myself going to too many.</p>
<p>Eating alone is a great way to meet people. Go in the hall during the peak times, get your food, and find someone else sitting alone. Sit down, introduce yourself, and talk to them. They probably don’t want to eat alone either.</p>
<p>I would suggest trying to relax. There are others who feel the same way. Even your roommate may. Why did he invite friends who don’t even go to the school if he was not anxious about meeting people himself? If you don’t feel confident on the inside, try to appear confident on the outside and eventually you will be. In other works, don’t focus on the fact that you have not met people to connect with yet. Put it out of your mind and focus on the task at hand, going to the dining hall for a meal, exploring the campus, etc. Go about your business, relax and opportunities will come along to meet and connect with others. Try not to stress. It will happen.</p>
<p>I bet you would be surprised if you knew how many students feel the same way as you. Most freshmen are anxious about starting school and making friends. Relax, be pleasant and you will meet others and make friends.</p>
<p>You just got there right? There HAVE to be new student activities going on…job fair…activity/club/student gov’t stuff…orientation…meet teachers, intramural sports. Whatever that stuff is that is certainly going on, even if it sounds lame, GO.</p>
<p>And yes, in the dining hall, join someone else who’s sitting alone. Bring a book as an absolute there’s-no-one-eating-alone-here backup.</p>
<p>You just got through your first day on campus, congratulations! Now, remember that you’re new there… and so is everyone else. There are probably tons of people just as nervous/awkward as you are about it right now. </p>
<p>I feel kinda funny giving advice in this topic because I’ve never lived in a dorm, but you’ll want to start finding some common ground with people. Notice a band or game you like on someone’s shirt? Try using that as a conversation starter. Sometimes, you can even just randomly have a conversation with someone that’s walking pretty much the same direction you are lol (did this once, I was bored and had a long walk back to the car! XD)</p>
<p>If all else fails, you’ll probably notice at some point that you have the same people in multiple classes … get to know em This isn’t high school - there aren’t that many people that have an exclusive little clique of people that they’ve known since kindergarten ;)</p>
<p>Don’t worry, everyone is too preoccupied with their own problems to give a second thought about someone sitting alone in the cafeteria. There’s no reason to starve yourself because of what other people might think. Instead, just go there and eat. Bring a book, study there if you want to. Give it time and you’ll make friends. Follow through on the advice given by others such as finding other people who are eating alone, or try to initiate conversations. Chances are that those people are wanting company as well so you’ll be doing a favor for the both of you. Good luck.</p>
<p>Honestly, I would be highly annoyed if someone I didn’t know sat down next to me while I was eating alone. Besides dinner, I eat alone all the time, and zero ****s are given. Don’t starve yourself, there are going to be times where you have to eat alone.</p>
<p>Join a club or something. Attend the events happening around campus. There should be plenty since it is the beginning of the school ear.</p>
<p>Dude, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with eating at the dining hall by yourself. Sometimes I have class early in the morning and have to go by myself, sometimes I’ve been studying alone for a while and go for a meal alone…I know where you’re coming from though. I used to think the exact same way about eating alone but honestly no one cares at all. Sometimes people will join you and you’ll make a friend or you yourself can go over and start conversation with someone else. Don’t worry about that at all man
And with the whole meeting people thing, I was in sort of a similar situation as you are. </p>
<p>My roommate became a fratstar bro within the first few days so he would go out like all day/night and I’d be pretty much alone for all day. I signed up for this community service thing and there I met two awesome guys and spent the night in their dorm that night and I’ve slowly been moving in here. I’ve only known them for a week and we’ve become the best of friends and the people on their floor are real chill as well. </p>
<p>Talk to people when your classes start, you’ll make quite a few friends that way. I got a job and met a few ppl there, those freshman events are pretty good for meeting ppl
But yea, I was pretty bored the first 3 or 4 days as well but it gets a lot better man just give it time. And don’t just expect people to come to you, you gotta go out there and get out your shell and meet ppl. Learned that myself.</p>
<p>Oh and look for clubs or find a job. getting involved is a really good way to meet people</p>
<p>You could have made 4 friends but you missed out on that. You just said your roommate had 3 friends over playing PS3, why not sit down and watch them play, say “I got next” or something, ask them “what game is that”, or if you already know about gaming then you could just easily start a conversation with that. I am not a big gamer, but I am a bit up to date with some games. I don’t know, if I were you, I would have just start from the inside and slowly start making other friends. If that happens again, your roommate having friends over playing PS3, just ask to play with them. Or if it’s just your roommate playing PS3, just ask him if you could play. You say you’re an introvert, but I am pretty sure you are not like a zombie from the Walking Dead or something.</p>
<p>Go to the dining hall, and sit with another person who is alone (trust me there will be others!), and you are no longer alone. Don’t worry about not having an automatic friend in your roommate- many people don’t become friends- you just need to be able to live with them, not be best friends.</p>
<p>As for fitting in, join some clubs, and wait for class to start. Also, go to eat and just sit with diffident people, or walk around and make conversation with random people you pas… This isn’t high school where there are certain cliques that are already set. It’s all up to you to get out there and talk to people, and I have no doubt you will find people you mesh with.</p>
<p>And @Kel2012 I did sit there and watched them play. They didn’t include me and I didn’t want it to be awkward if I asked. Keep in mind these were friends of his from high school or something. They did not go to the same university that me and him are going to and basically they were just campus guests for the day.</p>
<p>Overall, I find that there isn’t much going on yet around campus. Classes start today and I’m hoping I do meet a good amount of people, and overall hope that today is a better day. I sort of feel like dorm life is not for me and considering moving back in to home. I’m going to give it another week or so before I make my decision but that’s where I’m at atm.</p>
<p>Good luck and I hope you make friends through your classes. Make sure you talk to them and chances are some feel the same way as you do.</p>
<p>I lived at home until 22 (I am actually moving out in two weeks) and definitely feel ready to leave, but it is still somewhat scary to have my own apartment and no friends as a transfer student.</p>
<p>It can take more than a few weeks to make friends and settle in. You may want to seriously consider giving it the semester or even the first year. It can take time. Good luck!</p>
<p>Thanks a lot. Classes started today and it was just fine. I’m still not loving dorm life and am probably moving back home this weekend. Dorm life just isn’t for me.</p>
<p>tk, I think you need to give it more time. You can always move back home, but doing so will isolate you even further from others at your school.
What are your interests? Join a club. Find an on-campus job. Around lunchtime, ask someone in your dorm who you have spoken with previously if they want to go grab something to eat. Ask others about what classes they are taking.
Honestly, you shouldn’t be giving up so soon. Classes haven’t even been going on for a week.</p>
<p>I agree with moonchild. You should give it more time. It may not be as easy as you imagined or hoped it would be, but if you stay and try, you could fit in. Sometimes, it just takes time. Stretch yourself a bit. If you stay, you will grow.</p>
<p>I went through a similar situation. I had a roommate who was not only uninterested in becoming friends, but actually spent most of her time at a family member’s home instead of the dorm. I was completely alone. It seemed like everyone else had already made friends and weren’t willing to give me a chance. I was also terrified of eating alone, to the point that I would stop eating for days at a time to avoid it. I would basically lock myself in my dorm at all times. It got to the point where I stopped going to some classes that I felt were especially distressing. I was so incredibly miserable that I ended up dropping after one semester. Huge mistake. I’m going back to college, but I’m now a year behind. I know exactly how you feel right now. </p>
<p>However, there is good news! I absolutely promise you that your mind is tricking you into thinking it’s worse than it is.
Eating alone: I know it feels like everyone is staring at you and judging you. They’re not. Everyone will at some point eat alone because of various reasons. Like previous posters mentioned, take a book, laptop, newspaper, homework, etc. It helps keep your mind off the situation. Start a conversation with someone in class. Something I realized too late-almost no one will say no if you ask them to lunch.</p>
<p>Meeting people can be extremely difficult if you’re constantly degrading yourself. The best way is simple, go to events, meetings, join clubs. One of my biggest regrets is that almost every night my college would host some kind of fun function to go to and I would just sit in my room. Hang out in your dorm’s common area. If you’re religious, join a church/synagogue/mosque/temple or religious group/club. </p>
<p>Something I noticed was if people expect that you’d rather be by yourself, they’re more likely to not ask you to do things. I know it’s hard, but you just have to put yourself out there. Like moonchild and OhioMom said, give it more time. It might not be easy for you, and there will probably be a few uncomfortable situations, but it will be worth it. Don’t give up so early on. I promise you there are people out there who will love being your friend. Don’t let your anxiety win.</p>
This isn’t high school - there aren’t that many people that have an exclusive little clique of people that they’ve known since kindergarten ;)</p>