First off, sorry for the long post. I go to NDSU and have been struggling to enjoy college. I’m a psych major. In high school, I had so many friends, was never bored, was in clubs, sports, on the homecoming court, made academic wall awards, and was even captain of both the soccer and track teams. Since college has started, however, I have made little to no friends, even though all of my friends have made many and been having the time of their lives. All of my friends from high school that go to this college left me to party, drink, be in frats/sororities, and become friends with new people. It seems like I’m the only one not living the amazing college experience. Also, im not doing well academically which is very disappointing to me. Every day I wake up hoping things will get better but they haven’t, and I’m usually optimistic. Im in the middle of my second semester of freshman year right now. Im planning on transferring to a different college (Portland state) with hopes that things will get better, but I’m worried they will not. I just don’t know why I can’t make friends here because I’m a very extroverted person and easy to talk to. Does anybody agree that college is a big let down from high school? I don’t miss high school, I just miss having actual friends that cared about me and I especially miss succeeding in school. I spent a week studying for a test in a class that most find easy and got a C, while my friends and others all got As without even studying. It’s been deteriorating my self esteem as well, making me feel like an outcast, so any advice would be great. I’ve been reading how freshman year is the best year of college but I’ve been disappointed and sad majority of it, making me worry that this is what the next eight years will be like (yes I’m going to be a psychologist so I have eight more years). The college im transferring to does not have a big Greek life program so that will not be an option. I just want to have fun and make a friend group that I will be happy in. The parties are okay but they’re too big to even get to know anybody before they get busted. So please help me out with your advice or opinions or if you agree so I can feel like I’m not alone anymore!
I refuse to believe that freshman year is the best year of college.
“I just miss having actual friends that cared about me” perfectly sums up what I’ve been feeling so far this year, as well. We have to believe that it will get better for both of us. Good luck, and I hope your transfer goes well.
I think the problem is that you’re comparing Senior year of high school (captain of all the sports, knew everyone in the school, was known by all the faculty, lot of positions of leadership…) with Freshman year of college-- and being away at college at that!
Waking up, “hoping things will get better” isn’t going to get you from here till May. You’ve got to take positive steps to make it happen.
First and foremost, you’ve got to get your grades together. Go to the tutoring center, find out when your Prof’s office hours are, see about study groups. That in and of itself will put you in with like-minded kids, ones who want to do better, kids who aren’t partying their tuition away.
Second, search out some activities that sound like “you.” Not last year’s “you”, but this new, more mature, more “knows what she wants” you.
Kids grow at different rates, and right now your growth rate doesn’t match that of your high school buddies. (Remember back in 7th grade, when the girls towered over the boys? Life is a cycle; you’re right back there.) It doesn’t make you wrong, or even your old friends wrong, it just means that you’re no longer the same size. Time to re-fit the way you look at your college life.
Good luck to you. And I agree with the previous poster… freshman year in any school is tough, as you struggle to define your new roles and new self. Hang in there.
And, PS: tell mom you need a care package. A little taste of home will help a lot!