Not loving college/feeling depressed for no reason

My first semester of college is wrapping up, and I can’t wait to go home. I feel depressed and disconnected from my school, and am constantly wondering if I would have been happier somewhere else, and I really don’t know why. I went to a medium-sized high school (about 1,250 students) and was super involved. I picked the school I did because it wasn’t as intimidating or expensive as a huge D1 school, but still a pretty good size (14,000 students) and had a program I was interested in that many other schools didn’t have. I got involved right away on campus and joined a sorority and club related to my major, went to all the sporting events I could, and made a lot of friends.

A few weeks into the school year, I found out the program for my major was shutting down at my school because it wasn’t getting enough students. I still had the opportunity to finish it out, but I felt like it wasn’t the best it could be and there were less opportunities available. I realized shortly after that the program really wasn’t what I thought it was and started becoming anxious and unhappy after not enjoying it. I constantly found myself looking up other majors and other schools. I finally decided to change my major, but I’m not sure I will love what I am changing it to. I was really passionate and excited about my first major—only to realize I hated it later—and my new one is kind of last minute back up plan. I start classes for my new program next semester so I just have to wait and find out if I like it, but even now I’m always looking up programs at other schools.

Even though my school is a pretty decent size, it’s in a very small, rural town and people don’t really care about going to sporting events or on-campus activities. A lot of people who go here have a very different background then me (like I said, it’s kind of rural and I’m from the suburbs outside a big city), and it’s hard to connect. There’s also not a whole lot to do in town. I see my friends who are at bigger D1 schools that I originally didn’t want to go to having so much fun at the football and basketball games and doing stuff downtown, and I keeping wishing I had that here. I think about transferring, but then I think about how stupid that would be considering that I’m already settled here and have friends and am involved in my sorority. I’d have to start all over somewhere else, and there’s no guarantee I’d like it. I think one of my biggest problems is that I don’t really like partying, and that’s all there really is to do here. But I know that at a bigger school, there’s a whole lot more partying (which is probably why all my friends think it’s so fun there) and without being able to join a sorority somewhere else (I’ve already been initiated) I worry I’d struggle to make friends and be miserable there as well. It’s also a lot more money to go somewhere else and I’m not sure my parents would be too thrilled about that.

I have a lot of friends at my current school and am involved, but it’s almost as if I did what I thought I was supposed to do to have a good time and it just never panned out. I wish my school had the “college atmosphere” that bigger schools have. I’m starting to realize I may have just picked my school for my major, and now that I’m not sticking with it, I’m not enjoying my school. I don’t know why I think completely switching schools would be better since I am only upset about missing out on a few aspects of college, though. I love my friends here and maybe I will enjoy college more with my new major, but I don’t feel like I’m getting the full college experience that I always envisioned and am constantly feeling depressed and anxious about it. So far, I loved high school way more than college and I know that’s not how it’s supposed to be. Any advice on what to do? And please don’t tell me to get more involved. I am really involved here already, and that’s not the problem.

What exactly is the problem? I truly can’t see it, other than they are phasing out your major. First of all, most colleges don’t ask you to declare a major until spring of your sophomore year. You are obsessing about the major. You should be taking classes you enjoy, meeting the general ed requirements for a degree, and thinking about declaring a major when you are a sophomore, which is not for another year. If you absolutely know what you want to study, then transfer if you can’t do that at your current school.

I think you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, in terms of what you see your friends doing at other schools. Why did you choose the school you are at, apart from thinking it had the major you wanted? Think about what you do like at your current school. What would you lose out on by going to a larger school in a metropolitan location? There are some big disadvantages to going to huge schools. There is a LOT of partying. Classes are huge and often not taught be professors but TAs. College students in metro areas often end up spending a lot of money becasue the city is right there. Cities are expensive. Often, the campus scene isn’t that active because there is so much going on in the city. Large urban campuses often feel less personal.

A friend has a kid at Berkeley, who has a lecture with over 1,000 students for one class. If that idea doesn’t bother you, if you want the huge rah rah football scene, if you won’t mind being amongst many thousand more students, and if your major is available, and all those ideas are more compelling than staying where you are, then transfer. But otherwise, I don’t think you will solve any problems by leaving your current college.

Well, I diagree somewhat, @Lindagaf . She switched majors because her major is being eliminated from the school, but if her major represents what she truly wants to pursue (both academically and professionally after graduation), it behooves her to transfer to a school that offers that major – regardless of size of school, class size, etc.

OP says she found herself “constantly looking at other majors and other schools,” so she should prirotize what is most important. My point is that if she really isn’t sure what she wants to study, and IMO, she doesn’t seems set on anything, then she needs to ask herself if she is actually resolving a problem by transferring. If she is, then great.