Now Is Not the Time to Worry

Applying to College
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<p>Ironically, the things S became involved with probably would have helped his college applications, but he was doing this stuff out of sheer passion and absolutely refused to update colleges about them. Once he submitted his apps and did the mid-year updates, he was DONE with trying to get into colleges.</p>

<p>I was surprised last year at how S and many of his friends did not care about acceptances/rejections once they came in. There was not a lot of hand-wringing, even among those who got into their top choices and chose not to attend those schools.</p>

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<p>I concur. I’ve spent two semesters at what was a safety school and I’ve done really well. I have a thriving social life and a great GPA. Once you get over certain things, it’s hard not to have fun.</p>

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<p>Try being a college senior right now – Things look even more bleak, at least for the present era.</p>

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<p>i didnt even read the title of thread.
i just saw the name of the thread starter and that was enough for me to click on it.</p>

<p>and to no surprise an excellent. although as a HS senior, its hard not to worry. i stress alot sometimes. i just got a C in honors math which went on my transcript and its been haunting me for a while now…</p>

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<p>It is difficult to relax and enjoy things for me because it will still be a couple weeks until I hear back from our flagship that I really want to attend. At first, I was like “yay! second semester means that I don’t have to pull for a 4.0 anymore! I can get Bs!” until I realized that I had to work my tail off to pull that B I earned last semester in AP Bio. I just keep having that bad feeling in my stomach like there is something that I am procrastinating or not finishing- it is not knowing where I’m going to college and what my future holds. It is also getting difficult to get out of bed at 6 AM and sit through hours of boring classes when my college friends sleep in until 9 and go to 2-3 interesting classes each day, all spread out. And then even when I do get decisions, there are still AP exams to worry about! ahh! I will try to take your advice and calm down.</p>

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<p>well–thank you for this post. It did bring tears to my eyes as I know that all of you and my S too WILL go to college and most of you will be a good fit and find friends and profs who actually matter to you. The worry and such will be over pretty soon for most. AND I had a D who needed to transfer her first semester and DID successfully…so all can work out even if it is not immediately apparent.</p>

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<p>My kid has applied several ivy league colleges(MIT, Stanford, Harvard…) and is waiting to hear from them. He has 2390 SAT, 3 -700+ SAT subject test and 3.98 GPA at the high school and already has 60 local state U credits. He has been accepted into local State University honors college with national merit scholarship, which will pay for everything at the state U but the state U is third tier school. </p>

<p>We are considered upper middle class (both parents working professional), so I am not sure how much financial aid we would be getting if any. Any help/suggestions on how we can afford the IVY school without getting into debt? Is it worthwhile getting into debt and go to IVY school?</p>

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<p>remember the hitchhiker’s guide: don’t panic</p>

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<p>Easier said than done</p>

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<p>Yeah guys, the sad truth has been stated, which is that most students worry more about their peers frowning upon them, etc, than anything else. A top student may be completely disillusioned, know that getting into Harvard is in many ways up to a good student’s stars, and that some great students don’t fit ANY of the various profiles top schools consider. </p>

<p>I agree with the positive remarks in the original post of this thread, but believe the solution is mainly conveying the reality of things to students – that it’s what they do in college which will define them, not a brand name. People love easy brand names. Unfortunate reality.</p>

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<p>I think that it’s too bad the son mentioned waited until college applications were in, to try some new, “radically different” interests. To those who are not yet in their senior year, high school is a great time to explore yourself and what you like to do. Don’t let the college admissions process define you or limit your options. Try out those new interests as soon as they develop in you. Don’t wait until the last part of your senior year. Don’t play it too safe.</p>

<p>As Token Adult said, “be yourself,” but don’t wait until you have submitted an application that portrays you as what “they” want. Be yourself throughout high school, even if that means doing more theater and fewer AP courses, or whatever. You will end up at the right school if you live high school life in a genuine way, without always thinking about how to get in. Obviously, the right school is not always the most selective, either.</p>

<p>This son could have been doing this all through high school. The irony is that, as already mentioned, pursuing genuine passions helps kids get into the selective schools more than the pristine record these kids seem to strive for, at the expense of doing what they want.</p>

<p>editing to add: would someone actually consider UPDATING the colleges on these newfound “radically different” interests? Does it ever end? I thought the whole point was that the kid finally felt liberated from the unfortunate pressures to “get in”</p>

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<p>As before, there isn’t any particular reason to worry. Enjoy your studies, enjoy your activities, enjoy the things you do that don’t have anything to do with getting into college, and look forward to what you’ll do in college and AFTER college.</p>

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<p>College applications/admissions SHOULD be the main concern of high school seniors, and we SHOULD worry about them. The sad truth is that your future success largely depends on how good of a college you go to. We should relax only after we are satisfied with our future college situation.</p>

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<p>I think it is definitely worth it to go into a moderate amount of debt to send your child to an Ivy League school. An Ivy League degree usually means that you will write your own ticket once you graduate, so your son will most likely get a very good job out of college and be able to assist you in paying off loans.</p>

<p>My parents and I recently had this discussion about Columbia’s tuition. They make somewhere between the upper $100,000s and low $200,000s and Columbia still awarded me about half of the tuition in my financial aid package, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much if I were you.</p>

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<p>I find myself becoming less worried about getting into college and more worried about what I’ll DO in college. I already have a major picked out journalism, and I plan to become an editor. However, I have all these nagging thoughts/fantasies/dreams of becoming a doctor or pharmacist and making my parents proud and having financial stability. I’m also worried about finding a job as an editor after college, especially since there’s a shortage of jobs now. A part of me just wants to squash these thoughts and focus on my decided major, but another part is thinking that it won’t be so hard if I put my mind to it. Truthfully, I just want all these thoughts to go AWAY b/c they’re stressing me out and I don’t want to lose my hair, but with my Type A personality: shy, introverted, PERFECTIONIST I doubt I’ll have a shortage of stress anytime soon. By the way for anyone who’s interested, I think blood type personalities are really accurate as mine described me perfectly; in my opinion they’re way better than zodiac signs and all that.
Anyways, I challenge everyone who’s feeling any anxiety, as I am, to do something that has absolutely nothing to do with college, careers, or anything to do with your futures. I promise that it won’t hurt your chances of getting into college or your futures whatsoever. I recommend watching an episode of reality tv, VH1 would be especially helpful b/c I’m certain that anyone who uses CC, regardless of what college or career path you take, won’t ever wind up like the dried up, plastic, ex porn star/ stripper whose brightest outlook is having a certain “rock star” as their sugar daddy on a fixed allowance, or staying on the show long enough to get her own reality show. Really this is the only instance I can think of where I might think someone has failed at life, so think of it like this: If you don’t wind up like this you’re a success okay? Continuing with my list : read something that’s not going to challenge your brain and require any analysis like manga or fanfiction, or just relax and fantasize about being a mermaid warrior princess and saving the prince from evil mutant sea manatees, (Just to clarify I do NOT fantasize about that, I just made it up off the top of my head, not to say that someone can’t fantasize about that, I just don’t recommend telling anyone if you do.), or you can spend your time thinking of pointless activities to do like me! Just try to take a break, although I know that sadly it’s just not in some to do so.
WARNING: Make sure that you come back to face reality after engaging in said activities, it’ll be tough but you’ll have that feeling you get after a nice vacation or a relaxing back massage. :)</p>

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<p>I disagree with that advice once you have filed your applications. You should work hard and challenge yourself to achieve your personal goals, but once the issue of applying to college is out of your hands, find some new way to challenge yourself and don’t look back.</p>

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<p>compmom,
As the parent of the kid who tried radically new things after applications went in, the opportunities he seized second semester senior year weren’t available before that time. (I’d love to talk about them, but they would be personally identifying. And yes, there were a couple of colleges that would have liked to hear about what he was doing, but S refused to disclose.) Throughout HS, he participated in a number of wonderful activities – based on interests that he began pursuing in elementary school, in some cases. He was involved with them, not for the sake of college apps, but because he loves them. (He is still continuing to work in college on research started in HS, as well as other activities begun in junior HS and HS.) </p>

<p>This is a kid who does not do anything unless he loves it – trust me! :wink: He did not have a pristine transcript – which was fine with some schools, not with others. His transcript <em>did</em> reflect extreme academic risk-taking, with the general result that he nailed the toughest courses and let the boring ones slide.</p>

<p>He had a wonderful quirky list of colleges, was not searching for prestige, and he got into exactly the ones where he would thrive. By December of senior year, S did not care what colleges thought – he had already gotten acceptances at his #1 and #3 choices.</p>

<p>Feel free to PM me.</p>

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<p>i’m a hs senior… i have to somewhat disagree with compmom, depending on what exactly s/he means… high school is a fantastic time to figure out what’s interesting to the individual, but at the same time, college applications ARE a big deal and admissions officers want to see long term devotion to a few activities… kind of hard to do if you’re going from activity to activity each year “finding out” what you’re really into. The lucky thing that happens is the student finds something s/he is passionate about early on and spends a lot of time on it. Otherwise, i think it’s good for kids to attach themselves to as few things as early as freshman year so long as they’re not going to absolutely hate life b/c of them. </p>

<p>i got lucky when i joined choir freshman year, b/c i ended up LOVING it and got to top levels at my school (and in region/state with this huge choral directors organization).
on the other hand, I joined speech & debate b/c my brother did it, and at first it was obviously not my type of thing. But i stuck to it since it wasn’t going to kill me, and towards the end of the second year of doing it, I ended up liking it after all.</p>

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<p>Wow, this is a great topic- thank you, tokenmom.</p>

<p>I’ve taken this past year off (a “gap year” as some call it) before going to college. I was the valedictorian of my high school class (snooty northeastern prep school to boot!). I thought I had my whole future planned out- while I didn’t get into some of the reaches I applied to, I got into some very good, solid schools where I knew I would get a great education. I went with my gut instinct and decided to go to a LAC in the south that had a unique, nurturing environment. After having been home-schooled earlier in high school due to chronic illness, it seemed like the perfect choice, despite it’s distance from home (10 hours). </p>

<p>…I only lasted one week. Technically only 6 days. I was a very non-confrontational, reserved, and somewhat shy individual (I say “was” because I have changed as a result of this experience) when I left for school. After being harassed by my roommate, who was clearly mentally imbalanced, and practically begging the school to take action, I decided to come home. I felt unsafe, was sleeping on the floor in someone else’s room (was even told by the RA not to go into my room alone and to keep all my valuables out of the room), and became as depressed as I’ve ever been- all in the matter of a few days. So, my parents came and got me and I went home. </p>

<p>So now here I am. I’ve taken this year to work- one of the best decisions of my life. I have gained lots of confidence and have become 10 times more assertive and self-assured - traits that I will definitely benefit from in the future. I have started taking 2 college courses this semester and will move on campus and begin full-time in the fall. The school is a local LAC where I know I will get a quality education, even if it isn’t the top school I got into last year. </p>

<p>Sorry if I’m rambling, but just thought that maybe, just maybe, my story could provide some of these anxious high school seniors with a little perspective. No matter how good your grades and scores are, no matter what caliber school you are accepted to, no matter how much you think you may have it all set and planned out in a perfect little box, things can all change. LIFE is much bigger than COLLEGE, and becoming a quality person is much more important than being a quality applicant. Sure, an Ivy league (or equivalent) degree looks impressive on a resume, but in the end what it comes down to is what YOU put into YOUR college experience. If you know you’re a hard worker and a good student, chances are you’re going to do great wherever you go, which will serve you well in your future endeavors. It’s all about what you put into it. These can be hard lessons to learn when you’re in this bubble of the college admissions process, believe me, I know, but they’re important lessons to learn. I also think that we shouldn’t all be so focused on what’s in the future- you have to learn to be happy where you are right now, not so focused on only being happy once you get into this school or that school or get this internship or that research position. </p>

<p>Enjoy the end of your senior year, and have faith that whatever you choose to do is the right decision, and you will find happiness and success in the end if you put energy and hard work into your college experience.</p>

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<p>That has got to be one of the best statements I have ever heard on College Confidential.</p>