<p>Thanks, Sokkermom1 for flagging this on some other threads. It's so important that it deserves its own thread, too.</p>
<p>" Dont take admission decisions personally. We are looking for students who will thrive and excel at our institution, not judging your parenting.</p>
<p> Allow your child to celebrate any and all acceptances. I always cringe when parents tell me their child only got into two schools or was only accepted to one of his top choices. Each and every acceptance represents four years of educational opportunities and should be met with excitement.</p>
<p> If your child doesnt get in, dont make it seem like the end of the world. It isnt.</p>
<p>Instead, teach your children to accept disappointment. A college rejection is often the first major disappointment in life. There will be many others. You will be doing your children a favor if you teach them to accept disappointment and take advantage of the opportunities they have, instead of trying to handle disappointment for them.</p>
<p> Check your pronoun confusion. Remember, its not we got in, or we got denied. ..."
Now</a> That the Application Is In, What’s a Parent to Do? - The Choice Blog - NYTimes.com</p>
<p>Great minds think alike.</p>
<p>(I also sent it to H at work… ;))</p>
<p>I have to admit that we are in a position that we may try to sway D just a little… It is really hard to let her make the decision.
Right now, she is undecided. The hardest part is that she was offered great scholarships to schools that are not her favorites. :(</p>
<p>Thanks both of you for posting this. Whir whir whir. ;)</p>
<p>1sokkermom: Son is in same position, liking the schools that have yet or are unlikely to offer scholarships. </p>
<p>I would like son to get invested in the decision by looking at the details of each program rather than just thinking about the name of the school and which kids at his HS are attending. Any advice on this?</p>
<p>There should be a smilie to indicate helicopter parent.</p>
<p>BerneseMtnMom: If your S made thoughtful selections about where to apply, any school that he selects will be a good choice. I’d suggest letting him use whatever methods that he wishes as he selects from his choices.</p>
<p>BerneseMtnmom,</p>
<p>Well, you could try to “Help” him evaulate the program of interest by helping establish the evaluation criteria. We tried that, but it was just too obvious. She stated, " Just so you know, I know what you are trying to do and it won’t work. I still don’t like school X the best."</p>
<p>She has agreed to develop a pros & cons list for her top 3 choices. At this point, we can’t even manipulate the evaluation criteria… Not fair. 
</p>
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<p>Isn’t this the time for scheduled helicopter maintenance while we wait for decisions? <tic></tic></p>
<p>^^^^</p>
<p>Well, if you can’t afford her top choice, you can influence the decision. Many kids have “top choices” that require parent contributions that aren’t do-able. Those “top choices” then have to be eliminated.</p>
<p>Have you told your D how much you can spend each year? (also taking into account that the COA posted on websites is for the current 2009-2010 school year, and will likely rise in the Fall and will rise again every year after that? )</p>
<p>Have you told your D that her FA packages have to cover X amounts, otherwise the schools aren’t do-able?</p>
<p>What should parents do now? Spend more time on CC, obviously!</p>
<p>Our children were accepted to less-preferred schools early on, and offered substantial scholarships by both rolling admissions and RD schools. We made sure that they visited schools offering large amounts of money before making their final decisions. They had some pleasant and unpleasant surprises when they met and talked with faculty and potential classmates. Some of the schools even offered stipends for visiting. I also suggested that they discuss their offers with trusted teachers and guidance counselors.</p>
<p>But, then again, either would have been content to attend any of the schools on their list. In the end, I think each chose the school where they felt most comfortable with the people (faculty and peers) they met, rather than the schools that looked good on paper.</p>