<p>Well my parents arrange to go to college interviews, they arrange which colleges I do interviews with, and they write my resumes. If I don't want something in my resume, they put it in anyway e.g knows elementary russian, as I have only taken about 5-7 classes or so, and I never liked the class. And they put in that I was a book reviewer in my local library ( I just wrote like 3 paragraphs for 2 novels).</p>
<p>My suggestion is you tell them you would, at minimum, like to be involved in the process. I would complete the application but ask your parents to perhaps proof them, not to make huge changes but more for the flow or better wording. I would definitely suggest that you do as much as you can on your own because your parents are not always going to be around to do those things for you. What is their concern, that you will not follow-up, or that you do not how to state things on an application, etc.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s normal at all but we’ll see what other posters say. Are they also writing your essays for your apps? Will they attend class for you and take your tests for you as well? Please don’t let them write your lifestyle preferences for the roommate selection process as well or you’ll find yourself in the midst of another recent thread here.</p>
<p>What’s more normal would be for them to make suggestions to you as to what to include, where to apply, etc. and then you make the decisions and actually do the apps, writing, and rest of the work yourself. </p>
<p>Hopefully I’m not wrong on what I consider normal.</p>
<p>I agree with the advice from lammb66. Also, every piece of college search advice that I’ve ever read says that the student, not the parents, should be taking the initiative. Middlebury College has advice to that effect on their website; I’m sure College Confidential has it on the “College Search” portion of the Main CC Site. Perhaps you could respectfully show some of these articles to your parents.</p>
<p>That is over kill. I have looked over my son’s resume, and helped him with formatting and remembering things to put on there. He sounds like you, he does not want certian things on there that I think would look good. It is his resume, so he makes the final decision. I have been doing research to help my son find schools to go to. He wants to go out of state, and most of his friends stay in state. So he was kind of lost where to start. I have thrown a few ideas for essays at him, which he has immediately turned his nose up at. And he has not started any of his own ideas either. Also, finances are an issue for us, and we need to find schools that we can afford to send him to. His GC is terrible, can’t afford a college coach, so we are pretty much on our own. To answer your question, we are involved, we give our opinion, we help when we can, but ultimately it is his project.</p>
<p>honey, just create a new email address for all of your college applications, and do not share it with your parents. All applications are sent on line, so if you are the only one who has access to your email acct, then you can send in the information , and essays, etc you choose to include.</p>
<p>Your parents are probably really anxious and trying to be helpful, but they are too involved. Maybe you can ask them to meet with you and your guidance counselor when school starts, and he or she could explain to her how this level of involvement could actually compromise your applications.</p>
<p>Actually, the admissions rep at one college we visited strongly suggested that the student share the resume with the parents, because students tend to forget or downplay potentially important stuff. </p>
<p>I agree that the student should be in control of the process except when setting a realistic college budget. For other things, mom and dad should offer encouragement, support - and help if it is wanted. </p>
<p>Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I897 using CC App</p>
<p>During my Ds college search process, we were told that is it strongly frowned upon if the parent calls to schedule interviews. I assisted my D with her resume and reviewed her essays, but it was all her work.</p>
<p>i think schools who trip out (or otherwise hold it against the child) when parents call or assist their kids are just being a$$hole-ish! of COURSE parents are going to help their 17-year-olds navigate this process!!!</p>
<p>that said, banana’s parents may be going a bit overboard. just have a conversation with them. nothing like a little family communication. good luck.</p>
<p>MenloParkMom: Just a observation: If the object is to make overly involved and yes, neurotic even worse, absolutely create an atmosphere of lying and lack of trust. I think that there needs to be more communication between parents and the student. Not lies and subterfuge.</p>
<p>No, you are a cheater and your college acceptances should be rescinded.</p>
<p>^^^uhm, no. The OP seems to be saying that this is the process of application. The OP is not a cheater. The OP is trying to navigate the process, the parents and the choices. I hope that you’re be flippant because the OP is trying to insert him/herself in the process.</p>
<p>Nowhere did the OP say that the embellishments were the OP’s idea.</p>
<p>there is nothing wrong with the parent being deeply involved in the process.
It is an excellent way to teach your child a few of the pit falls that await them soon enough. HS to college is a huge transition and the student will be on their own shortly.
Parental support is the parents job.
My son really did not want to include the fact that he was an Eagle Scout, a twelve year key board player, etc. We insisted and he is so glad we did.
Listen to your parents now while you can.
You will be 99% on your own soon enough.</p>
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<p>Um, nope. Helicopter parents who call up schools to harass the administration with ridiculous questions, proofread their children’s applications religiously, and basically dominate the application process from start to finish are not doing their children any favors. If your child is disinterested in the process, maybe that’s because he/she knows you’re going to do all the work anyway. If your child *is *interested in the process, then he/she should be able to do the research on his/her own (and face the consequences if he/she doesn’t take things seriously enough).</p>
<p>I’d be extremely annoyed by pushy parents too, if I worked in an admissions office. And I’d rather deal with/admit an independent, self-directed young adult than someone who still needs mommy to wipe his chin/schedule his appointments for him.</p>
<p>To the OP: No, that’s definitely not normal and you should tell your parents to back off.</p>
<p>^ Agree.</p>
<p>Helping students navigate the process != taking over the process. Certainly, parents need to advise students. Parents can do some of the behind-the-scenes spadework and can review and advise. But the student needs to be in charge, and the student needs to be the primary contact with the college.</p>
<p>I am concerned with the resume embellishment. It is one thing to check and remind the student of potentially important activities/awards (one S kept forgetting to put NMSF…it just wasn’t a big deal in his eyes) but it’s quite another to add activities that look great on paper but don’t hold up to examination.</p>
<p>What will you do if an interviewer says, “Tell me about your interest in Russian?” or “How did you get to be a book reviewer?” Tell your parents you will look worse if you have to hem and haw, calling your entire resume into question.</p>
<p>Good for you, OP, for taking a breath and checking things out on line. Your folks are going too far but you didn’t have a nasty, mean shouting match. So, you can say something like:</p>
<p>"I know you love me and want me to do well but I can’t learn to do this myself if you do these things for me. I will do things differently than you would do them. I probably will be slower and less precise – but I will get better with practice. If you keep running over my tasks with your help, then I am going to want to hide future tasks from you and then we’ll all be unhappy.</p>
<p>I respect both of you and I need you to respect me."</p>
<p>If you can say all that without a furious voice and door slamming, you are more mature than most — your folks have gone far enough that a slammed door is what most kids would deliver!</p>
<p>Encourage your folks to check in here at CC – and ask if they’ve been hanging out and talking to “Mrs. UberCompetitive” who is determined to get her Johnnie into Yale Law at age 16. Maybe they’ve been getting some bum advice. </p>
<p>But do give your folks some credit – they’ve raised an honest kid who is able to politely question those in authority.</p>
<p>Parental assistance is one thing, resume puffing is another. </p>
<p>E.g., we arranged logistics for trips. D chose which colleges to visit. Though when she saw Mount Holyoke, she didn’t want me to even park the car but at that point, since we were already there, we insisted. Though she kicked TheMom in the ankle when TM asked the admissions office receptionist if there were any more tours that day.</p>
<p>I read essays, made comments. One, the first app for EA, had wrong tonal notes that I didn’t realize until much much later. But the subject, themes, and writing were all D’s.</p>
<p>In general, I think parents should distinguish between “project manager” and “co-applicant.”</p>
<p>I was once (somewhat recently) told by an admissions person that they had a pretty good idea when the parent had too much input into a student’s resume/college app. The phrasing reflected more the parent’s generation than the student’s. They wouldn’t reject the resume but it did reflect poorly on the student. Not sure if I could really tell the difference, but why take the chance? Tell your parents that this is your responsibility and follow up on it. Do the calls, make the appointments, write the resume. After all, you are the one that will be going to college.</p>