<p>You are correct, the only merit money Swat offers is for a few students who live in the area. We are “lucky” enough to qualify for their generous financial aid. Swat will assist any student, regardless of major, to take private lessons. Depending on how good you are the amount of aid varies. They even pay for train fare if you have to go into Philly!</p>
<p>Other places you might want to look into are Wesleyan, Dickinson, Brandeis. </p>
<p>Have fun!</p>
<p>this is coming from a kid’s perspective:
i hated, hated, hated having my mom involved in the college app process.
yes, i’m sure she had the best of intentions, but she was the one who made it
about ten times as stressful.</p>
<p>she would insist on having one of those sit down “talks” where she mainly discussed finances, and she would remind me of the family’s financial situation to the point where i could memorize her financial aid speech.</p>
<p>i ended up applying to about 17 schools, 10 of which i had no interest in at all, but applied for financial/ safety reasons.
those financial/ safety colleges, i understand, are necessary. but it was just too much.
those scholarship essays were hell. </p>
<p>yes, i got full rides for some of them, but i ended up getting a very generous aid from a school where i wanted to go- cornell- and thus ended the college hunt. </p>
<p>so parents, please back off just a little.
believe it or not, us teens understand better than you think the family finances, our reaches/ safeties, and know how to apply appropriately- some safeties, some reaches, some potential scholarships, etc.
it is already an incredibly stressful process w/o parents breathing down on you.
once again, i understand that it is w/ the best of the intentions, but it does get incredibly
overbearing and stressful.</p>
<p>My son is also really strong in math and physics. I did two things to get him to consider engineering in the summer between junior and senior year of HS. A college nearby had an engineering day so we sent him to that, so he would get an idea of what engineering is. He also took an aptitude test from a psychologist friend of ours. Net result- the only type of engineering he liked was one that was not physically based (no electrical, chemical, or anything like that). And the aptitude test had a lot of questions about whether he liked to build stuff, fix stuff, and he scored at the bottom on all those types of questions, resulting in a non-recommendation for engineering. Afterwards, I realized that as a young kid he was never really into toys like Legos. It all makes sense and he is now majoring in finance.</p>
<p>But if you think he might like engineering, it is best to enroll in the engineering school as a freshman. Changing to engineering later just adds years to the eventual schooling. Much easier to get out of engineering than into it.</p>
<p>Shelldemeo - I visited St. Olaf recently and was surprised by how beautiful the campus is. The new science building is amazing - full of light, gorgeous. Last year their physics students won a national Rube Goldberg contest, and the winning contraption sits in the lobby. Besides being a math powerhouse, they also have a strong music program. They also have merit scholarships for both academics and music. Do check it out.</p>
<p>Rlaehgund, I’m sorry that the process was so unpleasant for you.</p>
<p>Realize, though, that many kids want, value, and appreciate their parents’ active involvement in the process.</p>
<p>The families who seem to enjoy it most are those who (1) recognize that it IS, in fact, a long and complex process with responsibilities for both parent and student, 2) determine in advance what all the tasks are that need to be done over time (ie, analyze family finances, register for tests, research schools, arrange to visit campuses, etc), 3) assign those tasks, with deadlines, to either parent or student, as appropriate (who has the interest, desire, and time to do this step well?), and 4) approach it with a spirit of teamwork and adventure…acknowledging that the kid is the primary decicion-maker and the parent is the administrative assistant or project manager.</p>
<p>You say your mom drove you nuts with endless “talks” about family finances. Why didn’t you, at some point, say, “Mom, I understand there are financial limits here. If you’ll tell me the bottom line of what you can contribute each year, I’ll be sure to live within that, and I understand that I’ll have to make
up any difference with financial aid and my own savings/work.” Maybe your
mom went on and on because you never indicated to her in a clear and mature way that you “got it” and were handling your share of the responsibilities.</p>
<p>I think that rlaehgund’s post is a good reminder that every individual student, and every family dynamic, is very different. This transition, and the application process itself, is a delicate dance between student and parent(s). The best thing, which is hard to do at times admittedly, is to stay tuned in to what the student needs and wants (not always the same thing) from us, and to try not to offer more, or less, than what that is.</p>
<p>My three kids were entirely different in the whole process. First one wanted autonomy AND help w/choices, second needed support but did all her own choosing, third entirely independent (and not going at all!). My research was most welcome to #1, but I didn’t do much for the other two because they were doing it themselves, including a choice not to go to college at present.</p>
<p>i told her repeatedly that i understood the family financial situation, but she would tell me repeatedly that “no, you don’t understand.”</p>
<p>i just think that my mom was very nervous- much more nervous than i ever was- and that her interventions and discussions were just her ways off calming herself down a bit.
i could understand it- in my head, at least- but her anxiety, nervousness, and “distrust” in my abilities just added to what was already an extremely stressful senior year.
perhaps i should have been a bit more mature and just gotten along with it.
the entire family was just tense during the process. </p>
<p>anyways, whatever the problem was,
i can honestly say, having my mom& occasionally my dad so actively involved in the process was unpleasant.
i appreciated their advice& suggestions- but i just wanted them to back up just a little bit
and have a little bit more faith/ trust in what i was doing. </p>
<p>however i understand completely that teamwork is important, that parents& kids need to discuss this together.
i definitely think parents are necessary to bring us down from the clouds and apply
to some sensible schools ;)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Well, your reply sure sounds clear and mature to me, so you’re probably right that your mom’s approach was a coping mechanism for her. Sorry it made your senior year more stressful.</p>
<p>You sound like a great kid and I’m glad the school-search ended up well for you. Best of luck!</p>
<p>Re engineering: Not all math/science types want or enjoy engineering, and getting through an engineering program requires <em>interest</em> in engineering as well as talent in math and science. Many, many years ago during my own college search my parents strongly encouraged me to consider engineering since I was exceptionally strong and interested in both math and science. But after taking several hard looks at the UTenn engineering catalog’s descriptions of degree requirements, my reaction was “No Way”—I found the non-math/engineering/science requirements way too limiting----I simply had too many diverse, non-math/science interests that I wanted to take some college courses in. I’m now a math PhD and I have no regrets about my college choice. My point is this: If engineering is on the possible majors list simply because your S is good in math and science and <em>you</em> think it’s a good match, then you ought to encourage your son to carefully look at several college’s engineering program requirements and courses and let him decide if he’s interested or not.</p>
<p>Re managing the college search: I understand your worries about your S not being sufficiently involved, but you also need to NOT err on the side of micro-managing what should be his search. Yes, you do need to have “the conversation” with him in which you set some important boundaries about what you and your husband can afford to pay and what kinds (if any) of restraints you have on the college search and application process. But leave college names, specific external deadlines, and potential majors out of this main conversation. You might want to give him one semi-serious deadline for putting together his semi-final college list; if so, be sure to give him adequate time—if he’s a rising senior, he really doesn’t need a semi-final list in place until October (at the earliest).</p>
<p>And you also need to give him time and space to consider the suggestions you’ve already made and you need to give him some real freedom in making at least some of the choices of what to major in and where to apply. Try not to nag about deadlines too much. Put them on the family calendar and send him an email reminder a week before a major deadline. Try to not put him too much on the spot: my S hated being asked questions about the college search at the supper table, so we backed off and quit asking them at the supper table. Also try to not nag about procrastination and really listen to what your son has to say about his interests. If you don’t constantly mention the college search, then you might find that he will start to talk to you about it once school starts in the fall.</p>