<p>My mom frequently tells me that I have no say in which college I can go to and today she (again) told me that she is applying to three colleges for me, Cornell and two in state ( Jersey) schools. I really don't want to go to school in state and I especially want to atleast have an opinion to where I'm going to spend the next four years of my life. I don't understand why she's only applying to three colleges, it seems extremely low for me. I play two sports and my grades/ other extracurricular activities are pretty good. I know I can get into better places, somewhere I actually want to go to like UPenn, Usc, UCLA, but she won't let me say anything in the matter. Help. What can I do?</p>
<p>Your parents don’t apply to schools for you; YOU apply. YOU write the essays. Your mom is not allowed to apply for you. If they’re funding, they have the right to refuse to pay for colleges they don’t like for any arbitrary reason, or even to refuse to pay at all, but regardless, they don’t apply for you. </p>
<p>What you can do is
- start researching colleges where your grades and statistics are appropriate (collegeboard.com has a great college finder).
- read several of the “getting started” threads on this site, paying particular attention to financial threads.
- look into community colleges in your area if your parents are likely to refuse to pay (community colleges are much cheaper).</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>What are your stats? Is there anyone there you can enlist to help speak to your mom for you? If you’re honest in the interview, Cornell won’t accept you (and the odds are low there anyway).</p>
<p>You apply to colleges, but if you’re homeschooled, you will need your parents to vouch for (and make) your transcript, so your bottom line might be community college if the two of you can’t agree on other schools. Ask her why she likes Cornell. See if you can show her some of the positives of schools you like.</p>
<p>My GPA is around a 3.7 ( My school gives out the final score on the final report card), my PLAN composite score ( the pre- Act exam) was a 29 , my PSAT Scores were 500 for Math, 700 for Reading and a 650 for Writing.
My mom just has her sights set on me to go to Cornell, and she hasn’t wavered since I started fencing and I suppose she thinks I can get an advantage with that. I don’t really want to do sports in college, but I won’t complain if I’m selected for the team.</p>
<p>What do you mean I won’t get in if I’m honest in the interview, by the way?</p>
<p>I’m confused, Volleyb17. You say “my school”. Are you homeschooled? </p>
<p>Your situation doesn’t sound good. Does your mom understand about the difficulties of college admissions? Does she hope you’re a recruited athlete? </p>
<p>Also, I agree with GeekMom. <em>You</em> are applying to college, not your mom. She’ll have plenty to do if she’s a homeschooled mom but you’re the one applying.</p>
<p>I’m just really confused by your posts.</p>
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<p>When the interviewer asks why you want to attend this school and you answer, “I don’t, my mom wants me to go here,” you’ll end up not being accepted. ;)</p>
<p>With score like that, both Cornell and Penn will be quite a reach academically.</p>
<p>If you’re going to a school, the school sends the transcripts and recommendations, etc, and you’ll only be “depending” upon your parents for financial aid (a biggie), but not acceptances.</p>
<p>Oh sorry, no I go to a private school. But yes she hopes that my sports will give me an advantage for college.
By the way, thanks for everyone’s responses, you guys really helped!</p>
<p>Volley, you are in the Homeschooled section of the board. If you go to private school and your mother is acting this way, you need to talk to your counselor. </p>
<p>Unfortunately there are parents who do take over all or most of the admissions process. Even back in my day, I knew kids whose parents applied for them. I know of some kids who went to school with mine who have now admitted that their parents wrote the essays and did the app work, and some top schools did not catch them, as they were accepted.</p>
<p>If you have some extra money of your own, apply to other schools without them knowing. Then when you’re rejected at the 3 she forced you to apply to, you can tell them, “Well, I DO have THESE options…” 
I’m only partially serious about that suggestion, but that’s probably what I would have done in your situation at that age. I agree, Cornell and UPenn will be extreme reach schools, and you really need to add in some “safeties” to ensure you have somewhere to go next year. Is your mom choosing 2 in-state schools because of cost? In-state tuition is often much more affordable than out-of-state tuition, and your mom may just be thinking of cost. But if you apply to good match schools, you might get some merit aid based on good grades at a private school and extra curricular activities. </p>
<p>It sounds like your mom is not up to date on how college admissions are these days. Speak with your school counselor and maybe try to set up a meeting with him/her, you, and your parents.</p>
<p>I went through something similar. Unfortunately if they are paying they really do have all the same.</p>
<p>Okay thanks for all the suggestions! And sorry for posting in the wrong section.</p>
<p>DON’T let your mom apply to any schools for you! You need to stand up to her and tell her you refuse to tolerate this and that you are applying to your chosen schools whether she wants you to or not. If she refuses to pay the application fee, apply for a fee waiver, or use your own money if you have some (borrow if you don’t!). Also apply for a bunch of outside merit scholarships, that way if she refuses to pay you can pay your own way.</p>
<p>Your Mother can NOT apply for you. Each application has an electron signature or if it is a paper application then you need to sign. You really NEED to speak with your HS counselor and perhaps even another adult that can help you work this out with your mother. Good Luck!</p>
<p>So, what is to stop you from applying to different schools yourself? I understand that your mom is doing all that on her own, but can’t you do the same thing. That would be my suggestion. Apply wherever you want to and as often as you want to. You don’t have tell her that you are doing this. If you need help then ask your counselor at school for some.</p>
<p>While it is probably true that she is not supposed to apply for you, i don’t think getting in her face about that is going to help with anything right now. Why would you want to start an endless argument when you don’t know if you will even get into a school other than the ones that she did the applying to.</p>
<p>When you get acceptance or rejection letters from the schools that you applied to yourself, then have the conversation. Make sure you are well informed to argue your point. And be sure to state your case with as little childishness as possible. If you stick to the facts of what the school you want to go to costs and how much money you will be getting toward it, and all the other details, it will make a strong impression.</p>
<p>To be practical, here is a strategy:</p>
<p>1) Ask your school counselor to privately help you compile a list if appropriate schools for you to apply to. This gets her or him involved and vested in a good outcome. Ask the counselor to help you determine with stats you provide from the internet which are reaches, likeliest and safeties. Include the schools your mom wants. </p>
<p>2) Ask the counselor to call your mom in for a meeting and include one of your teachers who knows your performance if you can. Parents rarely bully two school staff at a time. </p>
<p>3) Agree on the goals before your mom gets there. They are to get her to agree to “let” you apply to 8 or more schools, including her 3 and 5 or more the school staff will pitch but you are happy with. Be prepared to give extremely strong reasons for each of your five and have staff ready to say how unlikely it will be for you to get in to Cornell.</p>
<p>4) No matter what, remain calm and let the staff support you. </p>
<p>Wait, have you asked your mom calmly why she prefers those schools? Could it be financial, considering in-state and Ivy League might require the least parent contribution? She may feel that if she doesn’t control your choices, she will go bankrupt or squander her savings for retirement. She may be afraid, perhaps justifiably. </p>
<p>Ask your mom how much she is going to be able to contribute to your college education over four years and then pick colleges that you will be able to attend based on that. If you show here a chart if what each will cost with likely financial aid, she may relax a bit. Counselors might be able to help with this but be prepared to spend some time setting this up.</p>
<p>Just want to throw in another point. Although my son generally picked his colleges, I pushed him to apply to Caltech, a school he though was not balanced enough. He got into ten schools, including his top pick MIT and Caltech. It was only after he visited Caltech (right after MIT) that he realized that Caltech was perfect for him. I definitely wasn’t pushing him at that point. </p>
<p>My point is that despite your mom’s over the top behavior, it wouldn’t hurt to visit each school early next Fall to get an idea of what they really have to offer. I only pressed my son to apply to Caltech to be thorough and logical, not because I had a mission for him to go there. Don’t let your mom having a mission keep you from considering those schools. I am speaking of the in state schools. But look at other options too.</p>
<p>It would not hurt to have school booklets mailed to a friend, remove address lables and have them sitting around your room along with booklets on the schools she likes. Look through them with your mom, pointing out architecture, awards, cool majors, food service, and especially places graduates work.</p>
<p>This thread has a lot of good responses, much of the advice fairly repetitive so I’ll let that stand for itself. </p>
<p>You need to shut. this. down. If your mom wants to pick your college then she is way to controlling. This is your life. YOURS. And while she might want to relive her life through you, she can’t. The choices you make now are becoming more important. As you start to get older life is a lot less planned, and after a couple of years you’ll realize you don’t get any redos. So don’t spend time at a college you don’t want to be at. </p>
<p>On to of this, if your mom wants to choose your college, she won’t stop there. She’ll have your major picked out for you, your summer plans chosen, and what law firm/medical school you’ll be applying for. She’ll decide what guy you marry, she’ll plan your wedding and be naming your kids. And then she’ll lecture you about how she always has to help you out and fix your life. </p>
<p>It might not be easy, but you have to stand up to her. If you can find someone to to help you out do so, be it your dad/aunt/grandparent/sibling.</p>