I hope there are some Early Action schools so at least you know if you got into some before the end of the year.
I think every parent has anxiety over something. Since we did the merit thing, I wasn’t anxious about the getting in results. But, I’m sure I would have been since I’m already anxious that bc my freshman isn’t at a top college, he won’t get a well-paying job! I think it’s just hard to be a parent! Take everyone’s advice who’s ever said that where you go to school doesn’t define who you are, and that things do (usually) work out for the best. I’m trying to calm myself with that (and exercise and meditation!).
I was anxious that DS’s essays are not perfect and he won’t get into any of the top schools. Then a coworker’s teenage daughter had a severe mental health breakdown (not related to admissions) and had to be placed into a residential treatment facility. That put things into perspective very fast.
“Try to enjoy the moments that have nothing to do with college. This is the last year they will be in high school. Enjoy the time you get with her and her friends. You won’t get this time back.”
And if you have been privileged to enjoy your kids friends…this is the best time. And maybe the last time.
You feel a huge sense of relief when that first “YES” arrives.
Lol, D1 swore she’d gap it if the only option was the flagship. But when that early rolling admit came in, she sure was proud. It livened up her interest in her apps. Definitely consider it.
What I lost sleep over, for 5 straight years (two kids,) was financial aid and its forms. Actually, longer, as they’d gotten aid at their private high school.
Good luck.
What is it you’re anxious about? Her leaving the nest? Her not getting into any schools at all? Her not getting into the right school?
We learned with our older child: they’ll bloom where they’re planted. Help where necessary in researching, seeing the schools, and getting the apps out. Then put your trust in God or the Universe, that she’ll land where she needs to be.
With my daughter last year, we spoke a LOT about the ability to “bloom where you’re planted.” And she’s not just blooming, she’s thriving in a school she had never heard about until last winter.
My D19 just received an offer from a safety school that has a COA that we can handle as a family. My wife told me the next day that she slept better that night than she has in forever.
The kids will get in somewhere and we as parents will make it work. But I think we all would like this to hurry up and be done with.
I’ve got a lot of anxiety too. Lists and spreadsheets and timetables (for me) are helping. And dumping anxiety to other parents on this message board has really helped me. Thank you, all of you, for being here when I’m trying not to be tiger mom.
My older son got into a safety extra-early - he got the notification before Thanksgiving. That was nice because he got deferred from two top choices EA. In the end he got rejected by his first choice, but discovered that actually one of the schools he did get into may have been an even better fit.
It’s perfectly normal to be anxious. That’s why I hung out on CC, so I didn’t bother my kids.
I had so much anxiety throughout my daughter’s senior year. We really needed the merit scholarships. Every acceptance came with an increasingly better merit offer. First acceptance in early October, last in late March. We were about to send a deposit in mid-April, when the last school to accept called to offer a bigger scholarship. So it turned out to be an unexpected year of shifting sands. It was a long school year! Now that she’s a senior in college, seems ages ago and just yesterday at the same time.
She’s applying to grad school now, but my wallet is no longer part of the equation. I’m less nervous.
I was very stressed and learned a lesson for my next kids’ application process. Apply somewhere early. Apply to a safety early. My son didn’t get his first acceptance until late February. All his friends had already been accepted places and we were feeling a lot of worry as we saw all of them celebrating and revisiting schools and weighing scholarship/aid offers. I think my kid was the very last one of his class to get his first acceptance.
I’ll third the strategy to apply EA and to some rolling admissions schools. I too have the fear of “what if he doesn’t get in anywhere”, and knowing some EA answers will be in in December, still with time to apply to some schools that are further down on the list (and saving the stress of doing those apps until then) is helping. Of course, EA makes this month extra stressful, but we’re trying to look at it as a crunch month and then things will be a little more relaxed after the November deadlines.
All great advice on this thread. I’ll just add/recommend to plan a family vacation or two before child goes off to college! Good luck 
Thank you all so far - this has been helpful to at least vent our feelings too!
EA is big part of our application process too and when that first one comes in I’m sure the stress levels will decrease.
Keep it up everyone, we’re doing great!
At lot of places, if merit or a competitive direct entry program is the goal, applying early is crucial.
So this is my youngest applying. And just a thought… all of you who are trying to hide your nervousness, don’t kid yourselves. Your kids can read you guys. Just like mine can read me. Please go sign up for a paint and drink wine evening together with your friends. Or escape from a room event. Or go on a hike while the weather is good. One rule: Don’t talk about college or college apps the whole time.
One thought on the outstanding essays: The weekend is coming. Mine has ECs to do. But can he squeeze in 1-2 hours on his remaining essay? This is a conversation he is initiating–more than my other two did. Here’s something that has worked for him so far: He heads to a nearby Starbucks with a laptop and a $10 giftcard to work on the essay alone, without anyone hovering.
As long as you have one offer with great merit money from an OOS Honors College, it’s not a terrible thing to be able to get a college education for nearly free. Beyond that, some kids turn out not so well going to HYPSM and some turn out great at community college. Everything is bonus after that.
Don’t plan a ton of family activities or travel over winter break this year if you can avoid it. Your kid may need time to chug through their last few applications in spite of plans to finish them earlier.
Honestly, if this is the main anxiety keeping you up at night, you are relatively fortunate.