Our first D19 will be pressing send on her applications in the coming weeks and my wife and I already anxious beyond reason (but not letting on to her).
D19 has a very good GPA, took a lot of Honors and AP classes, scored well on her SAT’s and we have chosen schools that we feel she has a very good chance of getting into, but we are starting to lose sleep!
Is this normal? Any sage advice from parents who have been through this?
Try not to focus on the part of the process that is out of your control. As long as she applied to a good mix of reach, match, and safety schools that appear affordable and that she would be excited to attend there is no reason to worry.
I had a lot of anxiety too even though my DD had a great option in hand in early October. It’s going to be a long wait if you already aren’t sleeping so do your best not to worry. Your daughter will be successful where ever she lands!
Thank you for the quick feedback, I know its going to be a long road and I’m trying to enjoy the journey
For me the Prep for next year is brutal. Senior year looks like it will be a blurr of applications, waiting, essay writing and scholarship entries…ughhh hang in there
Yes, it’s normal. Here’s my best advice from going through the experience for three kids. None of mine is at the “top schools.” However, they are at good schools with good FA and merit. More importantly, they are happy and settled. That information won’t take away all the anxiety you are facing right now, but perhaps it will let you sleep just a little better.
I agree with @happy1. Have a safety or two that your DC would be HAPPY to attend and let everything else go.
With a max load of IB, CAS commitments, sports, music and other EC’s all going at full speed, going through my son’s application was extremely stressful. We were too tired to care about the results. We just wanted to get it over with. One benefit of being too tired, though: we slept well.
I will add that one thing that helped was that my S applied to a few rolling/EA schools and had one acceptance to a safety/low match school he liked a lot very early (October) a had couple more acceptances in hand by December. So while he did not hear from all of his schools or make a decision until the spring, we all knew early on that he would be going to a college he could be happy at. So I always suggest that applicants have one or two rolling or non-binding EA schools on the list.
I have the same problem - some nights I can’t sleep because my brain won’t stop thinking of all of the things we need to do or coming up with essay ideas or trying to think of schools to add to the list… As we get more done I think I am sleeping better, now if D would just start writing her essay for the apps due in 2 weeks then I think I could really sleep better!
The worst part is the wait after sending apps in. It is excruciating. You just have to distract yourself. Movies, books, trips, hiking, cooking.
There is a great school for everyone, surround yourself with balanced, happy people with good perspectives, make sure to avoid other that are constantly worrying.
I’m not sure there is a “great school” for everyone. Every school has tradeoffs with cost, academics, location, size, etc. But if you are confident you have well researched and affordable matches and safeties, that takes pressure off.
And an early acceptance, as @happy1 said, is a great relief. I think most kids harbor a secret fear of not getting in anyplace. Both of my kids were so relieved when they got an EA acceptance, and they said the same thing: “I’m going to college!” Like — they hadn’t been totally sure before. 
I agree, @sammytv It is very very stressful.
I’m both wishing for the next 6 months to hurry and also slow down at the same time. In the same boat with not letting D know how hard this truly is on DH & I. I agree with other posters, and it is what I tell D when she mentions being stressed- she has 1 rolling auto-admit that she likes well enough. Is it her favorite choice? No. But at the very least, she WILL be going away to college. That helps her calm right down, and she can always apply to transfer sophomore year. So see if that is a possibility to pick one sure back-up, I think it really helps.
Of course we parents are still going crazy hoping D fares a little better acceptance wise, but it is out of our hands. What is meant to be will be! (sharing my cliches that I tell myself in super stressful moments )
@SunnyFlorida22 you hit it perfectly! Hurry up and slow down ALL at the same time.
She is applying EA to a handful of schools, and 1 will help ease some of the anxious moments, but until THE 1 comes in, I think we are all going to be 8-}
I agree – finding a good place for my first college student was the first step to better sleep, although I still have worry since he is in school so far away. I busied my self doing a Cost of Attendance and resources worksheet. Once I could see how we were going to pay for his college and still feed the other two children still at home , I felt better. I could confidently say, “Yes, can go to this school if this is your choice.”
Now I’m worrying and sleepless over DD1, our second college student. She refuses to apply to some good affordable options. She is a good student and her excellent planning has been a big help in this process. She has one more short essay for her last school and all her applications will be in. I just wish she would apply to our local flagship as a backup…
Try to enjoy the moments that have nothing to do with college. This is the last year they will be in high school. Enjoy the time you get with her and her friends. You won’t get this time back.
It is a stressful time. My DD got into all of her schools BUT did not get into her major of choice at two of them, including her top choice. That was very, very hard on her (and us, by extension). I can say now, with time and perspective, that she has landed at a school and a program that is great for her. She is thriving and happy. I would not want to go through last year again, but it does seem to work out in the end if your child has a balanced list of schools. I agree with others who have said that having an early acceptance to at least one school takes a little bit of the pressure off! At least they know they can go to college.
I wouldn’t tak about transferring to try to calm them down. Encourage flexibility and resilience on their part. Remind them of their strengths, which they can draw on, and why they liked the schools they get accepted to. Transferring can be costly and socially disruptive, so I would not talk about it as a backup plan. You want them going in focused on succeeding.
It will be fine. There is lots of time left. Hopefully there are some likely admits on the list with early notification timelines.
The other piece of the puzzle is the cost of college, that keeps a lot more people awake at night.