<p>Are the remarks unusually numerous now, or are things now about the same as ever?</p>
<p>A different idea--(edit: and it relates to ADad's question above)..</p>
<p>. Nobody told me this until I was 40 and my FIL began messing with my H's everything...how he raised his kids, how he did his job, EVERYTHING good about him. It all came to a head when our own kid reached 13 and was about to have a family Bar Mitzvah, so had to look sharp intellectually. I could not imagine why my FIL, normally reasonable and vaguely supportive but uninvolved, suddenly began lacing into my H about H and the grandson.</p>
<p>I actually cried to the Rabbi helping us with the Bar Mitzvah. He said, "Don't you know that parents are sometimes jealous of their own children?" </p>
<p>It was an epiphany for me. NO, I didn't know that. I always thought they wanted "better" for their children. And this jealousy comes to a head when there are high stakes decisions (bar mitzvah, college app, marriage talk...).</p>
<p>Since I was so surprised, I thought I'd gift you with that same idea, in case it explains anything for you.</p>
<p>Do you have any Asian friends of the family or neighbors who have kids in college already? Perhaps they can share their experiences with the application and acceptance process and give him a different perspective.</p>
<p>The parents that my dad talks to are those whose kids have gone to elite colleges (HYPSM, Caltech) and all they mention are academics. I'm sure those parents aren't even sure about the admissions process as well!</p>
<p>ADad, It's has happened, but now it's happening much more frequently. I think it's his belief that he's always right, and I'm always wrong since I'm younger than him and ergo not "experienced" enough.</p>
<p>You dad sounds very much like my dad many years ago (I went to a second tier school, Colgate, and all my siblings went to ivies). I am very different with my own kids because of him. A few months ago, he said to me,"You are a great mom. You have done a good job with your kids. If I had to do it over, I would do a few things differently." It was as close to an apology as I would get from my dad, but it was enough. I knew what he was talking about. All I am saying is that you are not going to change him right now, but it doesn't mean 20 years from now he wouldn't see things differently. He is your dad, bear with him, you will be leaving soon enough. Let him talk (nag), you do what you have to do.</p>
<p>One thing I learned from listening to my FIL was how important it was to him to pass on his life experience to his children, and maybe especially to my H, the oldest son. My H took it as belittling, but I don't think his father meant it that way. My hubby has been very successful in life and I think his parents both admired him. But his Dad just wanted to be heard as an expert on something. Don't know if this is true for your Dad.</p>
<p>I agree with others that you'll have some good choices. Whether your Dad considers them good enough, I can't say. But take it from us, the choices you'll have will be good enough to take you in very successful career directions.</p>