<p>Is it my imagination, or are some parents way too involved in the college process? I'd like to hear some stories of things "college obsessed" parents have done. I'll start:</p>
<p>This one parent I know went on a college visit WITHOUT her son (who was a high school junior). The boy had no interest in the college, but the mother loved the place, so she went BY HERSELF. </p>
<p>Any stories you can share?</p>
<p>To me, the level of this mother's involvement in her son's admission process is beyond the pale and I continue to be surprised by the number of parents on CC who cite it as a kind of morality tale. I feel especially badly for the son in this story and I hope no one has to ever read his/her tale told here by a parent.</p>
<p>at least it ended well for him.</p>
<p>^are you sure of that?</p>
<p>HOLD ON ballet girl! I was on CC when this was all unfolding. This student, who is currently at MIT [ not bad at all, I'd say], was a top student at a very competative HS- nearly perfect SAT scores, straight A's, fantastic EC's, outstanding pianist- he even had performed at Carnegie Hall- who made the mistake of applying to only top schools, thinking he would get in SOMEWHERE. Well, he didn't.
"I continue to be surprised by the number of parents on CC who cite it as a kind of morality tale. "
The MORAL of the story, which is really important these days, is don't just apply to reaches-have a safety school, and let them know you would love to go there. That was the mistake Andi's son made, because he was assured by all those around him that someone with his talents and brilliance would surely be accepted at H, Y,P etc., and when he wasn't, it shocked a great many parents, not just his own mother. It became a true wakeup call for many posters on CC, because it showed how unpreditatble admissions decisions had become, and how important it is to let every college a student is applying to "feel the love".</p>
<p>"The student is currently at MIT.</p>
<p>Great info, but it looks like we're beginning to stray from the original topic: examples of parental overinvolvement in the college process.</p>
<p>Another example of parental overinvolvement I've heard about........</p>
<p>The father of a high school senior opens his son's acceptance letter from a college. He calls his son at school and tells him, "WE'VE been accepted at
xxxxx college."</p>
<p>The boy's anger that his father opened the mail was stronger than his joy of being accepted at his first-choice college. The boy was also upset that his father used the term "WE'VE" been accepted.</p>
<p>When the boy questioned his father about these things, the father said that he had every right to do what he did because he would be the one paying for his son's college.</p>
<p>menloparkmom,</p>
<p>I am sure it made for great drama as that story unfolded and it does serve well the simple moral of "don't put all your eggs in one basket." I got that. </p>
<p>I also think, as a student reading it, it is as much a story of parental emotional over-involvement as anything -- plain and simple. I believe it is quite difficult for parents similarly involved to see this. </p>
<p>That thread has a number of other unpleasant (to me) issues associated with it, including the public profiling of the son's trials and tribulations, seemingly without his knowledge or consent. I believe there are few students who participate on CC who would countenance that behavior by their parents. </p>
<p>This thread was started in the College Search & Admission section of CC and then moved to the Parent's Forum. I think it would be very useful to move it back so parents can get feedback from students as to what we consider parental over-involvement to be and how if feels to have such invested parents - the good and the bad of it - involved in our college admission process.</p>
<p>know-it-all,</p>
<p>Was it your intent to get students' input primarily (on this topic) or parent's???</p>
<p>We are now in the Parent's Forum.</p>
<p>I'd like to get it moved back. And you?</p>
<p>A friend of mine's needful mother was so confident she'd get into Colby ED that she placed Colby stickers on all their cars ... last summer. She also bought every conceivable piece of Colby-wear from their bookstore and insisted my friend wear the items regularly and prominently. Sadly, my friend didn't get in and now mopes around totally mortified. She's a great kid, but her mom is a complete........</p>
<p>Balletgirl,</p>
<p>Thanks for that story...can anyone top that one???</p>
<p>This is such an overused topic.</p>
<p>And on that note, carry on.</p>
<p>
[quote]
This is such an overused topic.</p>
<p>And on that note, carry on.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>woooah! lol.</p>
<p>Sadly. it is indeed an overused topic, perhaps because parental overinvolvement is so prevalent. Hopefully, the "guilty" parents on CC will learn something from this thread.</p>
<p>I think parental involved in college application process is fine. I find most parents who post here are "helicopter parents" even though they won't admit to it. Personally, my parents didn't help me with the application process other than writing the checks.</p>