<p>Alex, I think that most families who go about the process the way you and I, and RaintoMars and many others on this board have (looking for fit above all) end up with a happy ending. It seems like schools have a way of sniffing out the ones looking for the spot on the mantel to put the framed diploma with XYZ Name on it. They can tell when a kid is ready and willing and when they have been groomed from a young age. I don’t anticipate running in to too many name droppers next year, though I’m sure there are a few. </p>
<p>I remember reading a chapel talk from the headmaster of Groton School about the Boston Magazing Rankings that addresses a lot of the topics that have been touched on in this thread. I’ll see if I can find it and post a link.</p>
<p>Look, for those of you whose kids were accepted to a school you’re all happy with, I’m happy for you. For those of us whose kids weren’t accepted, though, or were accepted with insufficient financial aid to make enrollment possible, this has been a difficult and frustrating experience. And, appropriate or not, I have felt angry and resentful . . . towards the kids who got in and now aren’t sure they want to go, towards the parents who have complained because paying for BS with the FA they received is going to be such a stretch on their income (which is about 5 times greater than mine!) . . . you name 'em, I’ve felt resentment towards 'em. And coming back to CC was really difficult for a while.</p>
<p>This thread helped. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. And it’s nice to know I have fellow parents whose reactions to this situation have been just as stupid and inappropriate as mine were. I agree wholeheartedly that becoming over invested in your kid’s BS decisions isn’t good - for parent or kid. Nonetheless, I know from personal experience that it sometimes takes a minute or two . . . or day or two . . . or week or two . . to get oneself back together again.</p>
<p>dodgersmom - we all grieve with you. Last year I spent a weekend with my daughter who cried nonstop over rejections. She recovered quicker than I did because my MIT brain was cooking up diabolical - albeit wholly imaginary - ways to retaliate.</p>
<p>But seriously - some of the response on this board was from a specific post claiming that some schools are “better” than others and smacking of elitism and looking for agreement on the value of status which I know as a college recruiter really means little in the scheme of things.</p>
<p>Or - like you - incredulous that people are still whining when they’ve still got great choices despite some rejections not realizing others are scrambling to reapply.</p>
<p>So I hear you. Been there, done that. And this year has been a great year for reflection.</p>
<p>Feel free to PM if you want to vent. Sending lots of cyber hugs.</p>
<p>The Groton speech was very eloquent and your timing in posting it was - as always - impeccable. I need to bookmark it when I’m talking to parents post interview.</p>
<p>yes, remember that the ugliness came out when redbluegreengold made the statement I quoted in post 50. She didn’t seem angry, but incredibly ungrateful and elitist. It’s hard to feel sorry for someone who feels like they are “settling” for something less if it’s not Andover or whatever.</p>
<p>It’s the original poster and all the other kids and families that wanted it so badly, for all the RIGHT reasons, and it still didn’t work out. I was there last year and I think I posted some kind of consolation early on. I’m starting to suspect that rbg2 is a ■■■■■. I do hope that your family hasn’t lost heart and if you’ll be in the admissions arena next year that you’ll let me know so we can compare notes :)</p>
<p>I think some of the messages here have been a bit harsh. Like I originally stated, it is a death of a dream, and for those of us, who feel certain schools were not a reach, but a wonderful match and did not have their children get in by letting the kids go thru the process on their own, etc…it is hard.</p>
<p>I wanted to create a safe place, where people could vent, not be judged and allow it to all hang out etc. Dreams are dreams, and it is normal to grieve quietly or alongside your child.
Or even to grieve even if your child is not. Something about many of these schools “spoke to us parents” and we felt connected to them, and our families are always involved. The driving, the taking off from school and work, the parent essays etc, speaking to the teachers, other relatives,…we are in it.</p>
<p>Let us grieve, pout, rant, rave…and just support us in return. We will get over it, we know it, but we are sitting here with our cups of coffee and miss the dream. Like I said, it is like when a beloved pet dies, and the public doesn’t take it seriously. We know there are much worst things out there. But we are just sad. When you spend more than a year on the process, let us share the grief with other parents. And give us gently reassurance that everything is going to be okay, and we did everything we could, and that we should not berate ourselves, for not doing the kids essay, and for not being more strategic about the whole process.</p>
<p>GTBH, I don’t think that the folks here have been unjustly hard on RBG2. Her child didn’t get into his first choice, PA. Okay, time for some grief. But PEA accepted her son, and he plans to attend PEA. Great! Time for grieving is over. To the extend there is any grieving thereafter, RBG2 merits snickers not sympathy. </p>
<p>I haven’t followed the whole thread, so excuse me if this has already been said:</p>
<p>All of the the so-called “Tier 1” schools are reaches for everyone…most of them this year had acceptances of less than 20%. If you are a parent. and think that your child is guaranteed an acceptance at one of these schools, you need to do some serious re-evaluation.</p>
<p>BrooklynGuy,
My son was rejected from an all boys day school in MA. It is highly competitive, but with a low tuition rate. I thought it would be a great match academically and socially for him. My “blues” have nothing to do with Tier 1, acceptance rates, or anything like that.</p>
<p>It was an opportunity that would have benefitted the whole family. I know nothing is a guarantee…Just trying to regroup, and think of the next dream that will benefit everyone…most importantly for my son.</p>
<p>GladToBeHere: I am sorry that things didn’t work out for you…I hope that you can use your experience of this year to pursue different and maybe ultimately equally, or even more rewarding ones, than the original one. Good luck!</p>
<p>No “■■■■■” remarks appreciated or snickers here. Stop thrusting your hate and anger on my family. Guess y’all little miss and mr. perfects. I’ve brought up some difficult emotions which I am sure are shared by many others in this process as well. I’m not the bad apple so you all can feel good about yourselves. Again, stay focused on your own kids, not mine. I’ve done well in life because I 've worked hard and taught that to my child. Don’t label me an elitist…Your behaviors are ugly.</p>
<p>OP said: " . . . those that have someone else fill out or personally help their child write the essay, particulary bothers me . . . "</p>
<p>My recollection about RL’s process is that it includes the student writing a short essay when he is at the school for his inteview . . . and the school uses that to check the other written work provided by the student. Was that your son’s interviewing experience?</p>
<p>I feel for any parent who is working through rejection. I feel more for the child having to carry the burden of their parents dreams. </p>
<p>It appears from response #53 that Scholwannabe and Redbluegoldgreen are the same household. The first post a year ago from SW revealed the poster was a middle school girl. Later there are posts from the household (sometimes a parent - sometimes a student) referencing a girl waiting to hear about an art award - a boy rejected from PA, a boy going to PEA - a girl again, then a child asking for copies of successful PEA and PA essays because they got into NO schools.</p>
<p>The switch from articulate language to scolding ebonics seems to suggest we’re being ■■■■■■■ or that multiple users are using the same accounts. So reviewing the “old” posts of both monikers is highly enlightening.</p>
<p>You’re sick Exie. Try to get a life with real vs. cyberfriends. You’re so worried for kids living out their parents dreams. Look in the mirror and worry about your’s.</p>
<p>I intended this thread as place to regroup, receive reassurance, etc with likeminded parents who value education, and are willing to make certain sacrafices for it…Whether it be financial, time management, having the big talks with children about the choices etc.</p>
<p>Let’s all get a cup of decaf, take a five minute break…and resume :)</p>
<p>Exie, I thought about your daughter’s application to Exeter. In this case, she’s legacy and URM - two solid hooks. Besides, as you have stated, you interviewed for Exeter and interviewed Exeter students for MIT - a clear indication of a close relationship with your alma mater. I’d expect they would at least waitlist her just for the sake of this special relationship. What are your daughter’s “paper stats” like? Did you manage to find out a “real” reason why they rejected her? How do you feel about the impact of legacy status in both prep school and college applications?</p>
<p>Yes, I actually have a close relationship with Exeter and so I knew before the letters came out. It was pretty clear she and the school weren’t a match and that it wasn’t her first choice. A lot of legacies were turned down this year, as well as students with siblings there.</p>
<p>I’m actually pleased that there is less emphasis on “legacy” because - when I was attending - those children had the hardest time being there (it was force, not choice). </p>
<p>But as much as my daughter loved summer school, we shared the same assessment that the actual school tour and interview came off as cold, versus her getting warm and fuzzies at other campuses.</p>
<p>So I mean what I say about “fit.” She’s a better fit at Andover and Tafts than at Exeter and I think she’ll be happier at either. But I’ll PM you with details.</p>
<p>Just saw your post on a different site - about the difference between Exeter and Andover. It was an elegant explanation for something I couldn’t put a finger on - My kid is the debate/lawyer type, not the science and math geek type.</p>
<p>That’s it! I might borrow that analogy when someone asks me about the differences.</p>