<p>Neato and Dodgersmom–We didn’t apply this year, but we’re also in the need lots of FA position, and local publics are not good options. I believe strongly in the cast your net widely theory. It worked for my oldest several years ago, and I’m hoping it will work for us again next year. So frustrating. :(</p>
<p>Yes - casting a wide net usually works. But holy smokes, this year just seems off - know what I mean? Like there’s a piece of the puzzle that’s missing. And the only thing I can think of is that FA is being allocated to families that didn’t need it in the past, or there were more full FA kids in the pool than ever before.</p>
<p>So called lower tier schools sometimes hate being considered a “safety” which may be why they’re turning down strong applicants. </p>
<p>I do know, from conversations with FP parents who applied late at several schools that they had a slight advantage for finding a spot even after the March 10 and April 10 decisions are in. I know of one who transferred mid term and another who entered in the spring. Working the phones will be key.</p>
<p>But for FA candidates I’m at a loss. The only options are to be the nicest person on the phone when calling to say the school is first choice and lobbying for the student.</p>
<p>The best odds are this - many candidates who are getting help seem to be getting admitted to multiple places and if enough of them decline at a specific school it will open up WL options. The key is to try to be the first in line by calling the school and being the most polite one on the phone or email. (because there are a lot of pushy, upset and demanding parents doing the same and you’ll be remembered for being different).</p>
<p>Remember - negotiate from a position of strength. They DO NOT need to know your status at any other school. Just that THEY are the one you want.</p>
<p>Exie’s advice made me laugh because it reminded me of the one time in my life that I (along with the husband and kids) got to go first class in an airplane. </p>
<p>The airline had changed our seats and had all of us–including our three-year-old–sitting rows apart from one another. My husband was standing in line at the gate, waiting behind 2 or 3 really ****y, demanding customers. When he got up to the gate agent he smiled and said, “How are YOU today?” then politely explained our dilemma. She gave us new seats without saying anything, but when she handed him the tickets said, “Enjoy those seats.” And when we got on the plane and realized we were sitting in front of that magic curtain, boy did we ever (my kids couldn’t believe that they’d just keep handing them food and drinks for free 
)</p>
<p>Anyway, point is, that yes, chances are a polite and good humored voice will be remembered positively over the next week or so. And who knows, Neato, you might just be handed a first-class ticket!</p>
<p>Alright, I’m going to jump in here once more. There’s a debate going on in my household over who should make the phone calls. It was my son who took the lead in communications with AO’s, etc. during the fall and winter - and he’s adamant that he should be the one to contact them again now.</p>
<p>I agree, but only to a point. If we’re talking about negotiating (FA), or collecting information (why the denial?), I think I’m going to be more effective. When it comes time to contact a WL school to tell them he loves them and still wants to get in . . . then, yes, absolutely, that should be him and not me. But what if the best recourse is to contact Person X, who’s got connections at one of the schools, and beg for help - should that be me or him?</p>
<p>Advice?</p>
<p>(FWIW, my son is “nicer” than I am!)</p>
<p>Oh, I’m very nice. I’m just not very sophisticated! This puts me at a severe disadvantage when doing any kind of “negotiating.” I tend to “spill my guts.”
Let’s just say that I’d make a horrible diplomat, liable to lay all cards on the table.</p>
<p>How’s this for nice: Remember to set your clocks forward tonight. And with that, I am going to bed (because it’s more like midnight than 11pm)</p>
<p>Dodgersmom, I think you should be the one to contact person x, they may feel put off by your child approaching them, since it is about financials. Then, i would suggest you tell person x your case, and then mention your child has offered to speak to them as well.</p>
<p>Anyone else’s 2 cents? Exie, what do you think?</p>
<p>Neato, get on the phone on Monday, and start that neatoburrito diplomatic convincing charm we have all grown accustomed to here on CC.</p>
<p>Ooops. I hit send too soon…</p>
<p>Neato, you have a great way of making your point without being offputting.</p>
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<p>Oh, I don’t know. Son calls to remain on waitlist and asks what additional information would be helpful to show his interest. Schools are looking for kids who are ready to launch and it will show his proactiveness. Also - if it works or doesn’t work he’ll feel in more control.</p>
<p>Who should call influential adults or Adcoms and ask if they can give insights into the other schools - or what deficits caused them to be denied FA - that’s the mom’s job. </p>
<p>Either could call to ask about available spots at other schools, but the calls may be taken more seriously if the adult makes them.</p>
<p>It’s a tough call. In the end - the person who is the least emotional and can hold it together should do it. It’s a delicate dance. But it takes a mature articulate kid to pull that off. </p>
<p>If your child wants this badly enough, give them a role to play and a safe way to advocate for themselves. Then they’ll know they did all they could do to help themselves. But all financial stuff really needs to stay with the parent because that’s a whole other can of worms.</p>
<p>The ongoing unthinkable catastrophe in Japan does put bs rejection into perspective–a truly awful way in which to find perspective, ahem. I do feel absurdly privileged, selfish, petty, entitled… NEVERTHELESS, I am nursing a wound. The school that let us down came as such a shock for us because they’d, I think unwittingly, led us to believe that our d would be accepted. D was in contact with an encouraging, enthusiastic dept. head at the school who most likely had no say in the outcome of D’s admissions. Not giving details on that, just would like to vent that disappointment is painful; an ego blow. My ego, of course. My D is very happy with the schools that accepted her, and appears to be taking disappointment very lightly. I hope that I’ll eventually reach her level of equanimity.</p>
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<p>Chocolate, lots of chocolate.</p>
<p>If you’re a salt eater, the cheese curls from Whole Foods are amazing - I’ve eaten at least 10 bags of those while waiting for M10, and still eating them while deciding what to do with WL for son’s first choice. ;o)</p>
<p>The advice we received from a school headmaster is that the waitlisted student should write a letter reiterating what appeals to them about the specific school and why they would be a good match. The letter will go into the student’s admissions file and will be available a month from now (or later) when the committee may be looking to take students from the waiting list. The quickly scribbled notes from an AO’s phone conversation may be less powerful.</p>
<p>Another piece of useful information- the waiting list is most likely to move either around April 10th as students make their final decisions, or in early summer when the big tuition payment is due. At that point there are sometimes a few families whose attempts to rearrange their finances to afford prep school have been unsuccessful or who have had a change in circumstances since they first accepted an admissions offer.</p>
<p>MiltonMomof2 and dogersmom; thanks for the laugh!! I needed it. I’ve been keenly digesting all of these comments. Those of us in the waitlist situation (as in, waitlist, no accepts) want to be sure we dot all our i’s and cross all our t’s as it seems so precarious and the smallest little comment or gesture could push your child one way or another on the waitlist. We may also be tilting at windmills when for example, the school needs boys off the waitlist, and we have a girl. We have some very strong alumni contacts at our 1st choice waitlist but I’m nervous about coming on too strong. Our child is writing a thoughtful letter to the AO, as we speak, including some updates on what they’ve been doing or accomplishments they’ve had since app or interview. </p>
<p>Exie, can you talk a little more about how best to use important contacts at the school (mainly I’m speaking about very active alumni). Thanks!</p>
<p>neato–I would think there may be an element of other schools assuming she would go to Exe like her brother. WL can mean a lot of things: polite to a legacy, polite to the feeder school, no more FA, two many other qualified hockey players, or school wasnt sure you were serious. I have seen schools make room (they have some latitude unless they are oversubscribed and have no beds) when they learn that a kid really wanted the WL school. Perhaps you should also convey that D is not going to Exe and may even prefer another BS. I suppose you wouldn’t do that at every school because I believe they talk, but you can make it known to the one she really wants.</p>
<p>Here is another suggestion I thought about. Could your child’s current principal/headmaster/director/teacher call the school on their behalf as well as the written letter, and the follow up phone call? There is a fine line, you don’t want to come across as obnoxious, but genuine, and being overly polite can mean disinterest. If you have contacts, ask for their suggestions on how to approach said school.</p>
<p>Hi everyone,
I don’t sign in often to college board, but I do read all the different threads. I too am a parent who took part in the BS arena this year. My D applied to BS in California as well as MA. She also applied to Independent Day schools in Cali. She was waitlisted at her 1st & 2nd choice BS. She was also waitlisted at a couple of dayschools. It was a total heartache to see all those small flat envelopes come in. She took it in stride, knowing that she had a safety school. I took it harder than her, because I knew how much she had her heart set on going to a BS her in Cali…</p>
<p>Boarding Schools can sniff overcoaching and invasive intervention out easily when a kid has received that level of help from parents are professional counselors. Admission officers are trained to look out for that. Quite frankly, that hurts a applicant more than it helps them. It could possibly be that the rejections are a result of other factors that they felt would make the school a bad fit for the child. Where they are accepted, is where they are meant to be.</p>
<p>Well said Exie!</p>