Parents are not allowing to dorm

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of Southern California
1

<p>Hello everyone!</p>

<p>I'm having a distressing dilemma, although I'm afraid it may sound trivial to some of you. I am currently a prospective, admitted USC student at the Annenberg under Print & Digital Journalism. I've been blessed to have received the Presidential Scholarship. I love USC, and I can see my future here.</p>

<p>But there's one thing. I live relatively close (approximately 15-20 minutes away, probably 30-45 minutes with L.A. traffic), and my parents are not allowing me to dorm.</p>

<p>In the grand scheme of things, not being able to dorm should be the least of my worries. But I feel like it's an essential part of the college experience. That, and because I think it's crucial that I make the necessary friendships and connections in my first year (the year that requires a transition to college). Commuting every single day in L.A. traffic, losing studying time, and being disconnected from the campus during my freshman year doesn't sound ideal.</p>

<p>My parents are considering to buy me a car for this purpose. Therefore, dorming should be affordable (I will be working and paying for it, as well). Having to commute will result in car, gas, maintenance, and parking permit expenses anyway. I already told them that I'm okay with commuting in my last three years, since I only want this for my first year. I think getting the opportunity to be away from home, developing as an individual on my own, and having the college experience is a once-in-a-lifetime chance; we can get a car anytime later in my life, once I have worked hard and earned my own money for it.</p>

<p>I know this sounds outlandish, but that is the reason why I'm still considering my other two schools, UCLA (under Pre-Business Econ, which is very different from what I'm pursuing at the Annenberg) and UC Berkeley (Media Studies, which is more closely-related). I'm convinced that a USC education will be better for me in the long-run, but LA/Berk will provide me the experience outside-of-just-school that I need. With room and board, USC (for the first year) will cost me about $6-7k more than the other two.</p>

<p>I'm still in the process of convincing my parents to let me dorm. At this rate, I don't think I will be SIR'ing until the night of April 30! With all of that said, may I have input from parents who may have gone through similar experiences, or other students who are dealing/have dealt with the same situation?</p>

2

<p>I really like your proposal of dorming for at least the first year. That’s a great deal, and if I was your parent, I’d go with that. USC is totally worth the money, which is why I SIR’ed already, even without viewing my financial aid award (not that smart, but it shows how much I want to attend). I chose USC over UCLA and over the appeal process for Berkeley. Definitely choose it over UCLA (not that great in undergrad business, even though you might change your major if you choose to attend), though. I read reviews of both schools, and USC reviews are way more positive. I don’t care for appealing to UC Berkeley, even though it’s 40 minutes away from my house (and USC is 6 hours away), because USC is that good.</p>

<p>FIGHT ON.</p>

3

<p>USC has some excellent presentations for accepted students and their families. Take your parents to the accepted students event. They have specific presentations about living on campus and dorm visits so that you can see what living in a dorm would be like. Maybe your parents have some misunderstandings or lack information about the dorm experience. I have been a USC parents for many years and find that the welcome events are very informative and friendly. Maybe they will help your parents gain more understanding about your point of view.</p>

4

<p>Is there a particular reason your parents want you to commute? Do you help with younger siblings, is it the money, or do they just want you home? If you find out the reason, the solution may become clearer.<br>
The presentations sound like an excellent way to gain further information.</p>

5

<p>mystic,</p>

<p>I honestly think your proposal sounds very reasonable. I agree you should have the dorm experience for at least one year…That is an essential part of the college experience.<br>
(BTW, it defies logic that they would allow you to dorm at UCLA and not USC. If the concern is safety, they need not worry…the campus is safe and significantly safer than when I went there 25 years ago.)</p>

<p>We will have 2 sons at USC this fall and it would help us significantly , if we rented an apartment for them to share, rather than pay 2 seperate housing fees. But I think it is vital for S2 to have the dorm experience, so we’re going to suck it up for a year.</p>

<p>Fight on and good luck!</p>

6

<p>I never lived in a dorm, and I’m glad I didn’t. In fact, if USC required everyone to live in dorms I probably wouldn’t go. I don’t understand the appeal of sharing a closet-sized bedroom with someone you don’t know for an exorbitant amount of money and being forced into a meal plan that you don’t need.</p>

<p>I went to community college for my first year and commuted 30-45 minutes every day. At USC I live in an off-campus apartment. It has not inhibited my ability to make friends or be social in any way. A LOT of people I know (mostly upperclassmen and graduate students) live in downtown LA, Glendale, Hollywood, and Burbank and commute to class. It saves you a ton of money because rent on/near campus is crazy high. Plus, getting your own car is SUCH a great deal! </p>

<p>You don’t have to go to campus only for class and leave as soon as class is over. It really should not cut into your study time at all.</p>

<p>If you really want to do it, offer to pay the fees for your parents. If you can’t do that, get a job and save up so you can live on campus later.</p>

<p>I’m not necessarily knocking your desire for the “dorm experience,” but I don’t think that should be the determining factor in your college choice… especially if the other two don’t have the program that you want.</p>

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<p>You honestly have one of the most reasonable arguments for staying in a dorm. If your parents aren’t giving into this, I don’t think they’ll be changing their minds. Best of luck convincing them. I can’t think of anything to add; you hit the nail on the head. I definitely agree with living on campus for at least one year. Everything you said is true. But I also disagree with attending a different school because of this issue, primarily if the other school doesn’t have the same major program/opportunities as USC.</p>

8

<p>mystic - I lived at home and commuted to college (30 min away) and regret it to this day (and I’m OLD). If I had to do it over again, I would have dormed it at least the first year and worked more hours to pay for it - I think you have a great plan. BUT - don’t choose a school based on this. Have an adult conversation with your parents about it, lay your plan out and explain that you do not get to be an 18 year old college freshman ever again and this is an experience that you need to go through for growth and development. </p>

<p>-I do have a question though - do you think they are worried about the surrounding area? I can’t really figure out what their reason would be for you to commute if they are considering purchasing a car for you. When my older D looked at USC 3 years ago, my aunt, that has lived in So Cal for 50 years, had a fit over the area. I have never felt that it was unsafe at all - but I had no preconceived opinion coming from another state. Just a thought…which will make your case a bit more difficult - get them to Explore!</p>

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<p>If safety is their concern, you might explain that putting you in L.A. traffic twice a day for 30-40 minutes could be more prone to mishap than living on a beautiful and very secure campus with RA’s on every floor. If this is a cultural issue–parents just believe kids should live at home–what do they say to your suggestion that you will go to a different college and choose not to live at home in any case? Perhaps you could suggest you take a student loan and/or get a campus job to help pay for your dorm. It would show how motivated you are. Best of luck.</p>

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<p>Thank you everyone! I really appreciate the input.</p>

<p>I think (from what I’ve gathered from my parents) what makes it most tough for them is that I’m an only child. Their argument is that if I leave, they won’t have anyone at home. My mom is a stay-at-home mother, and it’s true that she has fallen ill (not seriously, but from minor, common conditions) more often and more recently. However, USC is still close by, and I can always come home as needed. Of course, that’s also their argument that since it’s so close, it’d be pointless to dorm.</p>

<p>I really believe that, financially, it can be handled. Especially with my help if I can find a working job. After all, they did say that dorming is okay if it was UCLA or Berkeley. I’ve made rough calculations, and the prices are all the same wherever I choose to go.</p>

<p>In specific response to squiggles1118: the surrounding area is known to be “not nice,” but personally, I don’t have a problem with it. Living in a Los Angeles suburb all my life, I feel like it’s a normal neighborhood. In the end, I don’t think this is a factor in my parent’s argument, nor mine.</p>

11

<p>Would a promised visit schedule help reassure them that you are not leaving forever? Something along the lines of “I’ll get a job to pay for this, and I’ll come home every Sunday, spend the night and go back to school on Monday. I’ll be home for nearly a week in November (Thanksgiving), nearly a month Dec-Jan, Spring Break and Easter, then home for the summer in May.”</p>

<p>The problem I see, is that you are still may need a car to go back and forth that often, especially if your mom is in ill health and cannot pick you up.</p>

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<p>An argument that your parents might value is that as a Presidential Scholar you have the opportunity to live in Birnkrant with other Trustee and Presidential scholars providing an extraordinary set of interesting and stimulating potential new friends (and while highly social a little less of the party scene if that is of concern to your parents).</p>