My dad wore Birkenstock’s before foot surgery some years back. But, swollen feet were not an issue. But Birkenstock’s are pretty forgiving. For pool walking, I would go with a pair of water shoes that are made for those that do water aerobics. The material is pretty forgiving.
The sandals are just to get him to the pool, not to walk in it. He has been making excuses that he cannot use the pool because it is too difficult to take his socks and shoes off and then put them back on again.
But Birkenstocks are a good idea - maybe in a wide size - with buckles rather than velcro.
Amazon has styles for diabetics, who can have major issues with swelling. A person can really need a design made for this problem. Their feet just don’t fit into the usual openings. Maybe for a walk to the pool he can just use one of the slipper styles.
Also, don’t know the full scoop, but there have been changes to the rules about reverse mortgages. Don’t now if anyone here had/has relatives considering that. http://www.newretirement.com/blog/2014/11/19/new-reverse-mortgage-requirements-coming-in-2015/?nabe=5361239943282688%3A1&utm_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F
I think the reverse mortgage industry is trying to sanitize the ‘product’ but all the fees etc - it just is a bad idea IMHO. Better to sell the place and downsize to something that is financially manageable if need for the money - or if family wants to keep the house, have the parent sell the house to family who can take out a mortgage.
Like oldmom4896 in post #6217, I followed my mom’s living will and made the most difficult decision of my life, which was to let her go. This was the sad outcome of an acute, unexpected illness at age 79. Although I know that I honored her wishes, two years later, I am still haunted by the fact that medical technology has gotten us to the point where I had to make such a decision.
@rockvillemom , check www.footsmart.com for sandals for your dad. They have lots of shoes for people with all kinds of foot ailments.
Thanks for the footsmart rec. I’ve sent it on to my mom, who is hopeless when it comes to shoes. She’s got peripheral neuropathy in her feet due to long-ago chemo and type 2 diabetes.
So many shoes have been returned; I hope this gives her a few more options.
Thanks for the recommendation. I spoke with a shoe repair place today - and they could add more velcro or legthen the straps of the sandals, but I am not convinced he will be happy, so I am just going to return the first pair and search for something intended for swollen feet.
Ah, zeebamom beat me to the Footsmart rec! If you are on ebates, you get a refund, too. 
I think my parents are going to put a deposit down on a senior living place tomorrow. It’s really lovely for independent living. I am not as convinced with the AL or SNF but if they need higher levels of care I would probably move them closer to me.
Dad’s memory issues are frustrating though. Even though they are both on board (mom would move tomorrow), dad’s cynical nature just keeps finding things to worry about. First it’s, “well, how can you be SURE they will refund the refundable entrance fee if we move?” (Umm it’s written in the contract and I think they’d have lawsuits out the wazoo if they didn’t.) “Well, there’s always a first time!”
Now he’s thinking the 4th floor might be too high up and he will have a fear of heights I think this is just his normal apprehension about any change manifesting, but it’s exhausting.
He is also worried about the $$ despite me showing him the numbers and his financial planner (who he trusts) doing the same. I explained that his savings will subsidize his income and he won’t come close to running out of money for 15 years (he will be 80). He looked at me and said seriously, “Well what do we do then?”
I assured him he could move in with me at that point.
Well, he does not want me to try anything else. He is an angry bitter negative man who would rather just complain all day and feel sorry for himself. So be it.
@rockvillemom, so sorry to hear he is acting out this way. You are going above and beyond the call of duty here.
Wow. It’s breaking my heart to hear FIL talk so casually about how much MIL wanted them to move out of the house and into a senior community. She really was socially isolated the last 6-8 years of her life because she had to give up driving. He seems to be comfortable now talking about how he kept them in their home then and intends to stay there now, and I need to get over being angry about it because it’s too late to help her.
I just wish for all of us an extra helping of patience. Patience and the ability to shrug it off and move on.
Re swollen feet. My mom was buying new socks for dad because of his feet. Ended up he was in renal failure. Patents were going to regular check ups but I have no idea what dr was checking. Dad ended up on dialysis ( probably would have happened anyway ). Mom ended up in ER with. 700 blood sugar few yrs later.
Surf city, I hope they get moved.
Rockville, that is tough when nothing suits.
Lamonm, I worry a lot about that for my mom too. She has had bad kidneys for a long time.
I am appalled at how thin she got in two months and she was thin then. My brother took her to his house for Easter and it looks like she hasn’t eaten since. And I am mad because they didn’t notice sooner. That is the downside of this AL place, the aids are all different each time I come and they don’t know how robust she used to be. I got the nurse to move the monthly weigh in up to weekly and I am supposed to get an alert if it changes by two lbs. weight gain could be her feet swelling. There was a raft of flu that went around and they shut the dining room and brought people food in to go boxes to get it stopped.
I also think mom is dehydrated she didn’t have energy enough to walk to dinner. Scary times. I have mixed feelings if I should even bother to take her to the cardiologist or if I should stay and take her to the normal doctor. I need to know what he thinks about this weight loss, too.
We’re in Amsterdam, at a hotel, ready to do our river cruise. My mom is in a room with my sister. In the middle of the night she got up to go to the bathroom and fell. Instead of waking up my sister to help her, she tried to crawl back to her bed. My sister (tired from jet lag) eventually woke to find Mom trying unsuccessfully to pull herself up onto the bed. She’s OK, bruised and uncomfortable but nothing worse, but yeesh, she could have asked for help from her own daughter who was ten feet away.
Cf. good luck with the cruise. There is no understanding why for sure for not asking for help. When my mom was more herself, she would have done the same thing in crawling to bed, but secretly she would have been mad we didn’t notice and rush to help anyway. Now she just doesn’t know how to ask for help anymore.
Fang, I liked your post when I read the first sentence, then unliked it by the end. 
But it’s wonderful that this is happening! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for no more mishaps. Have a wonderful time!
Another wise article by Atul Gawande, about the incredible amount of overtreatment waste in our healthcare system::
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/05/11/overkill-atul-gawande
In fact, I think I will post this to the parent forum because it applies to people at all ages.