^^^ Adding to the above, I just remembered! I’m my mother’s caregiver, though she doesn’t need much. Some admin support, I buy and deliver her groceries, take her to appointments, do laundry, things like that. She rents her own apartment in a subsidized senior / disability building. I have heard from visiting nurses, attorney, and housing staff who work with federal gov’t auditors, that it would be just fine for me to charge for what I’m doing. In case it’s helpful to you, I ran into a positive perception from a wide variety of people about getting reimbursed for things much like what you’re doing.
We had a friend of the family appointed as executor and he sent periodic reasonable bills for his services to be paid out of the estate. We and the other beneficiary were just grateful he was doing the work.
I think it makes sense to reimburse those doing the work, especially if everyone agrees. It’s often cheaper and easier than hiring services to do the work, with less staffing turnovers.
You need to be mindful of what you pay yourself. Something reasonable that you can defend. The prohibition against “personal benefit” usually means outside what’s fair and reasonable for the time and effort. Not buying yourself something or paying a personal bill. (You can usually buy someone a small birthday gift on the elder’s behalf. That’s reasonable. Not, eg. pay a tuition bill with grandma’s money because you think she’d want to.)
And most states allow the executor to take a fee. I’ve seen 3% noted, not sure if that’s a cap or if it varies by how much work. Again, needs to be reasonable and realistic.
I believe it was a type of personal services contract based on “reasonable and customary rates”. I spent so much time doing the filing of 5 yrs worth of back taxes, getting a lien removed from the house, dealing with the state on unclaimed funds, redeeming bonds that had matured 50 yrs ago, insurance policies, and hiring of home care agencies, multiple hospital and rehab admissions, setting up bill payments, and then hiring, paying and filing taxes for a private home health care aid as well as MD appointments and medication review and ordering, home repairs and maintenance. It was exhausting and I never kept a record of the time and reimbursement schedule. Honestly, it would have amounted to a considerable amount of money over the 5 and 1/2 years and I felt odd as I was remembered in her will. I was starting the paperwork for medicaid application shortly before she passed so there wasn’t much left at the time. I was also executor. There was a step daughter that was miffed that she was not in the will but was left the house as they were joint owners, she ended up with far more in the end and questioned everything I did but did not offer to help.
Please check your state’s laws on financial POAs, probate, and Medicaid for reimbursement that is allowed, in what amount or at what percentage, and what kind of documentation you need.
Am I correct to assume that paying oneself for services rendered under these provisions would not be possible during the Medicaid spend-down period?
Here is one article about caregiver agreements and Medicaid. https://www.agingcare.com/articles/personal-care-agreements-compensate-family-caregivers-181562.htm
And another one: https://www.caregiver.org/personal-care-agreements
It’s a little more complicated than Ithought, but I wasn’t worried about defending choices we made.
https://www.payingforseniorcare.com/medicaid/look-back-period.html#title3
@HouseChatte - I believe payments received by an executor constitutes taxable ordinary income. I would assume the same for caregiving service payments.
Payments received by an executor are “other income”–subject to income tax but not social security/Medicare tax.
We made it back from our 6 week trip with the ILs still alive. I told H that he and his sister will have to have a discussion on what “don’t ask, don’t tell” really means before she travels again at the end of the month.
It was very hard on #2D to have to cover all of the problems and concerns while we were gone. #1D did help, but she was finishing a class and had a final so D did her best to withhold info until that was done.
FIL is on hospice. The final dx is that the lower heart valve not working very well. It could be weeks or years, but the dr thought hospice care would be best.
Our daughters had the misfortune to run into my oldest sister at the ILs ALF. She berated them for something, of course. Not what they needed when trying to get to the hospital to discuss hospice for their grandfather. Reaffirms my decision to keep her out of my life.
Your poor D’s. What a burden. It was an unfair position to put them in. Is your sister a resident of the ALF?
It took a lot out of them, especially the younger.
My sister is sometimes at the ALF there for work reasons. There was a major falling-out due to behaviors -treatment of our mother before her death, estate issues, alcohol, and more. She would drunk text us and the kids. All of the kids avoid her.
On a positive note, the new dr took the ILs off of a lot of medications. The neurologist my mom saw was a proponent of minimal meds - no vitamins, for example. I’d discussed that with my H, but for many reasons a thorough med review wasn’t done. Since the ALF charges for the meds they administer, there’s even a dollar savings. A laxative was being given to MIL for no reason; no wonder she had many episodes of diarrhea. Fentanyl patches reduced significantly.
It took a lot out of them, especially the younger.
My sister is sometimes at the ALF there for work reasons. There was a major falling-out due to behaviors -treatment of our mother before her death, estate issues, alcohol, and more. She would drunk text us and the kids. All of the kids avoid her.
On a positive note, the new dr took the ILs off of a lot of medications. The neurologist my mom saw was a proponent of minimal meds - no vitamins, for example. I’d discussed that with my H, but for many reasons a thorough med review wasn’t done. Since the ALF charges for the meds they administer, there’s even a dollar savings. A laxative was being given to MIL for no reason; no wonder she had many episodes of diarrhea. Fentanyl patches reduced significantly.
It took a lot out of them, especially the younger.
My sister is sometimes at the ALF there for work reasons. There was a major falling-out due to behaviors -treatment of our mother before her death, estate issues, alcohol, and more. She would drunk text us and the kids. All of the kids avoid her.
On a positive note, the new dr took the ILs off of a lot of medications. The neurologist my mom saw was a proponent of minimal meds - no vitamins, for example. I’d discussed that with my H, but for many reasons a thorough med review wasn’t done. Since the ALF charges for the meds they administer, there’s even a dollar savings. A laxative was being given to MIL for no reason; no wonder she had many episodes of diarrhea. Fentanyl patches reduced significantly.
Thanks for all your advice about pay and care for your elder. I think I’ll leave things as they are. The care home takes great care of them and I would rather any additional resources go to their staff.
I’m super frustrated with my mom’s memory care facility. My mom fell this morning and they called 911 because her shoulder was “sore”. They are supposed to call me (DPOA HC) first before transporting her AND send an aide with her since she has advanced ALZ and can’t communicate. (I’m out of state). Neither of those things happened. I’m totally torn about what to do as she’s very comfortable and happy there but this is the third 911 call in 8 months despite our wishes for minimal intervention. She’s not “bad enough” for hospice care but certainly not well enough to keep going to the hospital for minor falls/bumps. Curious as to how others have handled these kinds of situations and if it would be better anywhere else.
For a while, every time they found my dad on the ground they would call the paramedics and transfer him to ER. Usually without an attendant and by the time I got there, since he could not tell them anything, they would have already given him a cat scan, etc… Several months ago we signed a POLST and he hasn’t had a trip to the ER since. Although they did call the paramedics when he fell the other day. He was not transferred to the ER. I feel like when the regular staff is there, things go smoothly, but when they are not, things happen.
I don’t know how elderly people survive trips to the ER without family. My very cognitively sharp mother has been hospitalized a few times in the last couple of years, and mostly the staff just ignores her basic human needs. Food? Well, you spent 5 hours in the ER, then moved to the floor after dinner was served, so you don’t get anything until breakfast, which will arrive around 8 am. Maybe. Cold.
Since she is pretty sharp and not shy and was an RN she’ll ask for what she needs, or deputize me to ask. But if she were timid or disoriented, I just think she’d tank from lack of food or water or whatever. Blankets, help to the bathroom, turning off the blasted beep from the monitor because the sensor came off her finger.