Parents Disagree With My College Choices

Parents Forum
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I absolutely understand why you don’t want UM-TC. Right now I think that you need to focus on identifying additional places that might work and that you can get support for from your dad. His job is the one that will be paying for your college costs, so ultimately he is the one who will decide where you can go once you have been admitted.

I don’t know enough about the specifics of admission at the places on your current list, but you (and your parents) need to remember that it is possible that you might not get into any of the places on your list - yes you might end up rejected everywhere including GMU. How would your dad feel about two years at NOVA in VA http://www.nvcc.edu/ before transferring to GMU? You do not want your rock bottom back-up to have to be a community college in the TC that your mom picks out for you. Ask your dad and mom to read through the thread on guaranteed admissions, and see if there is anything that is acceptable that you qualify for: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/1562918-updated-list-of-schools-with-auto-admit-guaranteed-admission-criteria-p1.html

Do you drive? If not, how soon can you learn to drive and get your license? If you will have to commute, you will almost certainly end up needing to have a car. In some states, the learning process is a long one, and requires extensive practice driving with people who are not only fully licensed, but also full legal adults. It is better to get your first license wherever you are now, and then take whatever short class is required to change that license to a new one in the state where you end up studying once you do get there.

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@happymomof1 Thanks! There is literally zero other colleges that will work for me other than the ones on my current list. (Well there are but I have a specific criteria - no extensive core curriculum, urban or suburban campus - not GWU/BU types of schools though, I like colleges with actual campuses, research university - large or medium sized and decent amount of diversity (including a Muslim Student association) + bonus = good arabic program (one of the reasons UMD really appeals to me)

Get rejected by all the universities I’m applying to? My counselor said I will have no problem getting into any of the schools I’m applying to with my stats (41/42 - my of year exam results/predicted score of 43-44/45, 34 ACT composite w/10 on the essay, URM and good extracurriculars) especially when my stats are compared to people who were accepted from my school. Is it really a possibility? But to answer your question my dad is aware of NOVA already.

Already showed them the list and only school on there that I considered was Howard but I quickly ruled it out because I wouldnt be comfortable in a majority AA environment.

Nope I dont know how to drive and I definitely wont be able to learn to drive while I’m here (I live in Saudi lol). Maybe I can learn next summer before I start college? But driving is not important - GMU/UMN are within walking distances of where my relatives live (+ there is a bus I can take). So transport shouldnt be a problem.

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Some lower ranked universities have no qualms about rejecting students who have high stats. Why? Because high stats students are likely to get into higher ranked universities and opt to go to those. If admissions at a school where the range of ACT scores is 24-28 sees an applicant with a 34, they may not be convinced that you are serious about attending. If they offer you a place and you don’t attend, that negatively impacts their yield and lowers their ranking.

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Can you contact the Muslim student association at Mount Holyoke? How would they feel about the women’s college at URichmond? Same thing, contact the Muslim student association. At Spelman there are many religious Muslim women and an active Muslim association for girls as well as with Morehouse. Any relatives near these colleges?

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@pink997 - Yes it is very likely that you will be admitted to the places on your list given that so far no one from your high school with your stats has been rejected. However, there is a huge difference between “very safe” and “absolutely safe”. Every single year we see cases here at CC of students who were the first from their high school with their stats to be rejected by a certain college or university. That is why you should pin down at least one rock-bottom safety. If you like GMU, then NOVA would be your best rock-bottom option - there are many campuses in northern VA and you could surely be able to commute to at least one of them. If you prefer UM-CP any of the MD community colleges could do the job - just figure out which are commutable for you.

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Don’t be ridiculous. George Mason is as close as it’s possible to come to a 100% safety for the OP.

If the OP goes to George Mason, how does she deal with the younger siblings issue?

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Muslim Student Associations tend to be quite diverse, keep that in mind (which is also true about Christian Student Associations in my experience).

Where I teach, there’s everything from female Muslim students showing pretty much everything to a hijab only on the head and neck, to everything covered from head to toe except face, hands, and feet. I find it great that most women seem to get along despite this, but if you have homogeneity where you are from, don’t be surprised when you get to the US and there is a huge diversity in how Islam is practiced (specifically in terms of personal appearance).

Be also advised that involvement of AA students in Muslim Student Associations can go from zero to 100%. In the US, the term “Muslim” used to be only associated with the Nation of Islam (others following Islam were called “Moslems” which is no longer in popular use in the US), and was almost exclusively AA people. I’d advise you to check out each college’s MSA if you might be uncomfortable. There are also Arabic Student Associations at a few schools, such as:

https://www.facebook.com/oasumd

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A great school to study Arabic is Tufts. Another one is in the Twin Cities but not near the UMN campus: Macalester. :slight_smile: Close enough so that your parents would feel reassured, perhaps, but far enough from family that they wouldn’t be able to check up on your all the time.

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OP- boy, you need to dial it back. I’m starting to feel sorry for your parents.

There are “literally” no other colleges which will work for you other than these four? None?

You are backing yourself into a corner here. If your choices are no college education vs. having to suffer at a place with a core curriculum, are you going to choose no college? Read the thread about the young woman who applied to four colleges, was only admitted to one, and her parents can’t afford the sticker price.

I personally think you are crazy to start drawing arbitrary lines around what you will or won’t consider, based on your parents requirements. I think you ought to make a big old list of all the colleges in places where your parents would consider letting you live and go from there.

And UMD is a perfectly fine area, as thousands of kids can attest to.

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What would your parents think of St Mary’s College of Maryland (the state’s honors college)? It’s in a nice, isolated area.

You can’t be too picky about everything. Your #1 concern is to not be stuck with your relatives who have 5 children. So, find many, many more schools around where acceptable relatives live. Since even a third cousin’s wife participates in the discussion, think of every cousin who lives near a college, or perhaps talk to your Imam to see if he can recommend “good people” who could check on you while you’re at school at another university (such as Williamsburg, or Atlanta, or Boston…)

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@pink997 - I like the suggestion that you take another look at other colleges and universities that are in locations that could work for you. Really drill down through the information on the website to find out the details of their core curricula. You will almost certainly find that even though the number of core courses is the same, the specific ways that those core requirements can be fulfilled vary quite a bit from one place to another. Read through each institution’s catalogue and get familiar with the way the program would work for your major. I expect that there are more options than you think right now.

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However, many non-immigrant African American Muslims are not adherents to Nation of Islam in terms of religion and theology.

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My relatives live in the following places: I will NOT be allowed to go to colleges that are not in these areas
*Northern Virginia - not the most religious
*Minneapolis - very religious
*Boston areas (Somerville specifically) - pretty religious (more similar to the relatives in MN)

Therefore my college experience will be extremely different depending on the relatives I stay w/ - the Minneapolis one will definitely keep tight control of me where as if I go to school in the DC metro area I’ll have far more freedom. I don’t know the aunt that lives in Boston enough to gauge whether she’ll give me much freedom.

Major: accounting (pretty sure about this)/don’t want to major in economics (I’ve taken it for the past three years so I know it’s something I don’t want to major in) so most LACs are out

Here’s a list of all the colleges that are in the regions my relatives live and that are decent for my intended major (

DC Metro Area
*UMD-CP
*Georgetown
*GWU

Virginia (since this is the state I’m from my dad is more flexible in that he’ll maybe allow me to go to a college that isn’t within commuting distance of NoVA, can be <=3 hours from my relatives)
*UVA
*College of W&M
*Virginia Tech
*U Richmond
*GMU

Boston (not the ideal place because only my aunt lives here and she lives w/her daughter who has 3 children)
*Northeastern
*BC
*BU
*Babson
*Bentley

Twin Cities
*UMN-TC

Ignoring the relative situation: The only colleges that I like from this are UVA, UMD, UMN, Northeastern and Georgetown.

-Some like U Richmond/Babson/Bentley are too small and from what I’ve gathered from the research I’ve done are not the type of campus culture I’m looking for. I’ve been going to a small international school my entire school life and so REALLY don’t want to go to a small college - don’t think I can stick it out.

-Schools like Virginia Tech and W&M have good academics but are rural or in small towns - I was born in a small town on the outskirts of a large city (go back there every summer) and have lived for the past 14 years in a large cosmopolitan city, my point is that I’ve experienced both small town and large city living and detest living in small towns so that’s why I’m only considering colleges that are in or near large cities. I don’t particularly like GWU or BU.

-W&M and UVA don’t directly admit you to their business schools as a freshman. Getting into McIntire is extremely hard (avg. accepted GPA is something like 3.7) so I’m definitely not going to consider them anymore as I’m not willing to take the risk of not being able to major in accounting

-BC & Georgetown both have extensive core curriculums that I’m not a fan of. I really don’t want to be forced into taking literature, theology, philosophy etc. I don’t mind maths, science, languages, social sciences and writing based (except for the ones I mentioned above) classes. Besides that I’ve already contacted the BC MSA leader as I was concerned about the lack of diversity - he confirmed that there are very few Muslims in the college and that there is very little ethnic diversity. This completely turned me off from the school.

So that is what I mean by that the four schools on my current list are the only ones that are worth considering now.

@MYOS1634 My dad won’t allow any of the schools you mentioned. They are too far from my relatives.

@blossom I guess I shouldn’t limit my options but what’s the point in applying to colleges that I wouldn’t want to attend? Look at this in context of the fact that I moved to a different school this year to do IB. I HATE it here and can’t stand the environment/people so that is why I’m making sure that I only apply to colleges that I’ll know I’ll be happy going to. I don’t want another 4 years of my life to just pass by.

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American U? U Mass Boston? Stonehill?

You need to do a deeper dive. And frankly- you have no clue what college life is going to be like for you so to claim that you’re only applying to colleges that you’ll know you’ll be happy at is crazy. You can detest living in a small town but trust me- life at a place like Goucher or Brandeis will be so much fun and so liberating compared to what you are used to…

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st Olaf has Accounting and Actuarial sciences , it’s in a college town close enough to the Twin Cities (and with two colleges, I can’t imagine you’d be bored), it’s probably close enough to the twin cities for your parents (ask to see if they’d be willing to consider towns near the Twin Cities, that’d open up possibilities: St Olaf, Carleton, Gustavus Adolphus), but not so close your aunt would be on your case that often, the academics are excellent… At least look into it. Dont lock yourself into so few choices - UM-TC is out, clearly, and Macalester unfortunately doesn’t have Accounting. But there are other possibilities.
What about JMU Honors in addition to GMU?
W&M is not in “a small town”. Williamsburg is a major tourist town and college town. It’s nothing like living in a suburb. Please go visit with your family before you dismiss it.
Really, a small college and a small school at nothing alike, and in many ways a college town is a better place to study than an urban center.
I understand there are some “non negotiable”, but don’t remove possibilities from an already very short list just because of what you imagine.
Small towns and small schools can be stiffling and homogeneous, conformist, hard to navigate. Colleges and college towns aren’t like that. Colleges are like small towns unto themselves, nestled into a larger “college universe” or city. You’re both part of your own world and part of a larger one, in a way that is difficult to explain to anyone who doesn’t know residential colleges. It’s totally different from going to school in a small town.
Work around the criteria imposed by your parents but don’t think a college with 1,500 students is like a high school with 1,500 students.

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Of the DC area schools in your list, only GWU has AACSB accreditation in accounting as well as business, if that matters. Another DC area school with AACSB accreditation in accounting is Howard, which has about 10,000 students. If you apply early there and your stats are high enough, you may get a full ride, which may lessen the levers of parental control. There is a Muslim Student Association with prayer services there.

AACSB list: http://www.aacsb.edu/en/accreditation/accredited-members/global-listing.aspx?F_Country=United+States
Howard scholarships: http://www.howard.edu/financialaid/grants_scholarships.htm#Freshman
Howard Muslim Student Association: https://humsa.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/

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^I second Howard. And because of its automatic scholarships, it’s attractive to internationals, offering some diversity (both cultural/ethnic - 6% aren’t Aa, and 4% are international - and socio-economic).
Apply early and if you get a full ride, who’s to say that you can’t live in the dorms?

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" However, many non-immigrant African American Muslims are not adherents to Nation of Islam in terms of religion and theology. "

Certainly. BTW, IMHO The Autobiography of Malcolm X should be required in American high schools.

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For accounting, look at Towson as well as UM-CP http://web.towson.edu/cbe/accounting/ It is in the northern suburbs of Baltimore, and accessible to the whole DC area by public transit.

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Here is one list of colleges and universities in Maryland that offer an Accounting major. Check out all of the ones that are in Baltimore (close enough to NoVa for your family to check in on you as needed). Some of the others would probably be outside your dad’s approximate 3 hour distance from NoVa.
https://nces.ed.gov/collegenavigator/?s=MD&p=52.0301&l=93&ic=1

UM-BC isn’t on that list because it doesn’t have an Accounting major as such. The pre-CPA coursework is in the Economics department. http://economics.umbc.edu/accounting/ UM-BC is as close to the middle of nowhere as any place can be, while still in the Balto-DC region. From your description, I don’t think you’d like the location. However, all the students I’ve known who went there have been very happy.