Remember, Cali said this:
So Cali herself believes that they will come around and pay something when it really comes down to it. Her best option at this point is to give them something affordable to work with (not push for NU which will just create more problems, even if they give in).
What kind of help can a college consultant give you, at this point?
OMG, map out the price of each school, show the awards and loans. What’s left is what your parents need to pay. If they say no, it’s no.
Is your mother going with you when meeting with the college consultant? If not, I’m not sure what could be accomplished.
Maybe discuss a gap year with the consultant and schools where you could garner full ride
What exactly can the independent college consultant do for you?
And for the record…it is a holiday and I agree with your mom. Talk about this with her when SHE wants to talk about it…and your dad should be there too. Not just your mom.
What you want to do is lay out a game plan for after you graduate from high school.
@twoinanddone I will do that and bring it with me tomorrow.
@Iwonderwhere I just asked and she said yes! Progress!
So I guess this convo can be put on hold for a day.
@thumper1 That’s honestly a great question. But since it won’t cost anything, I figured, why not? Nothing to lose.
Not much at this point Thumper. The only ace-in-the-hold for the OP is that if the parents hold firm on zero help, she can take the year off, work and start over with a completely new list and and @$15 - $20,000 in her own pocket from working full-time for a year (if her parents let her stay at home without paying any contributions).
How easy is it in upstate NY for a high school graduate to find a job where she will clear $15K/year after taxes?
With this much family drama, any college that depends on any family money is a recipe for more family drama every year.
Full ride merit is pretty much the only escape, beyond waiting until financial independence (age 24, military veteran, or married) to start college.
She willl more likely be able to save $5-6K, knowing kids who have done this. Though my kids have earned close to $9K in a summer, doing private lessons, working 3 jobs, bussing tables, lifeguarding, teaching swimming. Also they lived off the “lay of the land”, aka as home to them.
Fang - at $8.50 an hour you can clear $15,000 in a year after taxes working full-time. I do/did my kids taxes until they were out of college the first full year and they all have cleared after taxes at least $6,000 working 30 hrs a week in the summer and 10-15 hours during the school year but mine aren’t too spendo and got frugal genes from H and I.
Thanks, @momofthreeboys. You’re right, $8.50/hr could be doable even in rural NY. That’s $17K, and I’ll trust you that the taxes would be $2K federal plus state.
@austinmshauri i hope calicash can see if an arrangement can be worked out where her wealthy grandfather can provide $10,000 per year for 4 years. This way, she does not have to worry if his contribution will stop after a year or two. Either he can provide the money now in a lump sum to calicash or her parents, with her as the designated beneficiary, or he can put the money away in his own account with her as the beneficiary. He should also amend his will (i assume he has one) to state that if anything happens to him it is his desire that the executor distribute the money to calicash for her undergraduate college expenses. This would make four years at SUNY Albany or Stony Brook affordable if Calicash takes out $5500 per year (and possibly $7500 during last two years) in federal loans and uses the money she makes from working (or if her parents can at least chip in or let her borrow $5000 per year) to cover the difference of the total $20,000 yearly cost for these SUNY schools. Calicash has nothing to lose by politely approaching her wealthy grandfather about her current predicament. The worst that can happen is he says no. The best that can happen is he gives her the money to enable her to go to college OR he talks some commonsense to his son or daughter (ie., calicash’s mother or father) to get them to help their daughter attend at least her instate college.
If wealthy grandfather does make a college fund for the OP, couldn’t he put it in an account with the OP as a pay-on-death beneficiary, so that it will skip any will or probate (with attendant delays and family drama) if he dies?
@trackmbe3 I may be in the minority but I agree. If I were CaliCash’s grandparent, she’d hurt my feelings if she was in trouble and didn’t ask.
@ucbalumnus good point.
I find it interesting that people are in favor of going to the grandparent. I can tell you that if one of the kids circumvented my H’s and my wishes and went straight to a grandparent begging for money for college it would not work out. Not to mention H’s and my parents would have said no, they would be gentle, but they would say no. They might call H or I up and ask us what was going on, but their first response would be to say “no.” It is possible if we presented our finances to our parents (if we were even willing to do that) and explained that we could not afford this or that they might work something out with us, but in our family they would not “give” a grandchild that kind of money outright even as an early inheritance. Same grandparents would never have supported an expensive private school over local options including the CC route and given us the money. I have trouble comprehending the scenario of the OP going to the grandparent, but I do know families are all different.
It’s not at all clear to me, though, that if Cali went to her grandparents she would be circumventing her parents’ wishes-- her parents do not seem to have made their wishes clear to their daughter, other than a delusional wish that the Financial Aid Fairy will waft by and drop a quarter of a million bucks into the coffers of this high income family. @momofthreeboys, sounds like you had an understanding with your kids all along about what was affordable for your family, and what you were going to contribute to your kids’ education. This is lacking in CaliCash’s case.