<p>Around here two hours is nothing for most people to drive and return in one day if they think the visit worth it. It’s the other kids at home that will keep them from visiting too often–maybe.</p>
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what is excluding summers? The $15k that I said was likely the MOST you could save over the next 2 years was including summers. It’s doubtful that you could earn/save more than that by working part-time during the school year (if your parents would even allow that) and full-time during the summer.</p>
<p>What other options do you have? Can this decision wait until April?</p>
<p>How much money do you have of your own? Look through the lolasite list of guaranteed full tuition and full rides, and see if any of those look good to you. Then do some investigation about the cost of travel from your home to those colleges/universities, and about summer jobs and living situations in those locations. You need to know if you can do this entirely on your own (or if you really can’t). That will help you make your decision.</p>
<p>My parents drive 4 hours back & forth (8 hrs total) on a weekend, without any hotel stay, to see me lol, so 2 hrs really isn’t much. As long as they’re only there for a day though, OP should be fine.</p>
<p>Anyone might let the parents in through the front door, but some schools with tight security require a fingerprint check before going beyond the lobby/entrance, which means the student has to go downstairs & retrieve the parents…</p>
<p>@viewthroughkohl0 Hmm when they visit you, you could also try to study a lot, & maybe they’ll see you’re too busy & back off so you can concentrate</p>
<p>I think you should go to the ‘dream’ school your parents pay for.</p>
<p>Georgia State is a great university, but it’s also an urban university with quite a different feel from Emory (if that is indeed the other school you are considering). If you want a traditional university environment with a leafy campus et al., you may not be entirely happy at GSU. I also had many friends who went there (I’m from Atlanta), and they liked it - plenty of student organizations and other things to get involved in, but it’s not quite the same as Emory. Personally, I would’ve much rather gone to UGA - that was my safety school.</p>
<p>Nonetheless, the real reason is that having a full scholarship doesn’t mean that you can completely go without the support of your parents. That might cover room and board, but unless you get a job you’ll have no money for books, travel, and entertainment with friends. And having a full scholarship at a school only 2 hours away doesn’t mean that your parents still won’t try to control your life or drive up or expect you to drive down. Plus, it might sour the relationship with them unnecessarily.</p>
<p>The great thing about being in college during the week, even if you have to go home during the weekends, is that you drastically reduce the time that your parents see you. You’ll be more able to live your life as you want while just pretending nicely to them when you go to see them. I grew up in a similarly religiously conservative household (no friends outside the religion, no dating boys outside the religion, no disagreeing with the religion). I ended up going to college just 20 minutes away from my parents. In the beginning I did visit them twice a month, but by my second year I was seeing them far less often and I was living my life as i wanted to. I just didn’t talk about it that much around them. I don’t know whether your parents are more controlling than this and will want to be in all of your business all the time, showing up unannounced, etc. - but if they are somewhat reasonable people then I think it’s possible for you to go to the college you want (and that they will pay for) and live your life at least mostly the way you want and just not mentioning anything to your parents that will upset them.</p>
<p>I say go to the better school as well. At least they are letting you live on campus.</p>
<p>Thank you all. Happymomof1: that is a good point - I have a few friends in Alabama but job possibilities may not be what I’m expecting, so I’ll need to look more thoroughly on that.
Lilliana: true - if there’s anything they can’t argue with it’d be the amount of studying
Juillet: I did visit Georgia State already, and while UGA is undoubtedly better in academics and all, I didn’t like Athens and State’s diversity and networking opportunities were more appealing. And it’s reassuring to know that this isn’t the only time something like this happens. Is your relationship with them now good?</p>
<p>OP, if you do choose the “dream school”, there is one thing that will go very far in gaining your parents’ trust, and ultimately freeing yourself of their micromanagement, and that is:</p>
<p>GOOD GRADES. </p>
<p>Good grades allow you to tell them, in all honesty, that you are working hard and focusing on your future. It also implies that you are following a clean and wholesome lifestyle (whether or not true). But best of all, it actually WILL help you find that excellent job/career and gain you ultimate independence and a good future. So good luck to you, whatever you choose to do!</p>
<p>@viewthroughkohl0 your parents might feel overbearing and prehistoric right now…and in the short term, going away might seem great, but in the long term you’ll regret it…as for anything non-muslim related, are your parents really gonna find out what you do at college, hell mine don’t know what I have been upto since 6th grade…go to the dream school…a visit every fortnight isn’t necessarily a bad thing, even if it is, you can cope with that…and you’ll be left alone 6 days out of every 7 at the place you want to spend 4 years of your life at…sounds good to me</p>
<p>Prospect: my parents haven’t been concerned about my grades since I was in middle school. They actually originally wanted me to go to a pricey local college with easier admittance than State, but that’s off the table. Thanks for the wishes, and anywhere I end up I’ll try to make the most of it.
@michaelite fingers crossed man. It’s just delicate overall</p>
<p>Your parents sound quite controlling and manipulative as well, if how you are describing them is accurate. Sadly though, no one here will tell you this because it is mostly parents here telling you to go to the school your parents paid for. Their is no real perspective from any of the opinions you are getting here because at some point or another, it is very likely that the posters here have tried to set rules and the like for their children while away at college. Do what makes you happy. If you feel the university they will pay for is worth your mental health, don’t go their, plain and simple. If you feel you can make it through both physically and mentally though, it is all up to you. </p>
<p>You shouldn’t have any trouble finding your own way at college, and finding fellow students who are traveling along similar roads with similar challenges in reconciling their own aspirations with their parents’. American Muslims are very well represented on most college campuses, as they are one of the highest-achieving demographic groups, along with other Asian immigrant populations. A college like Emory probably has Muslim student organizations where you can meet other students and faculty members for guidance. Good luck!</p>
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My parents drive 4 hours back & forth (8 hrs total) on a weekend, without any hotel stay, to see me lol, so 2 hrs really isn’t much. As long as they’re only there for a day though, OP should be fine.
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Wow…8 hours driving in one day for a short visit with you? How often do they do this?
Do they come to see if you’re “up to no good”? lol
I think that is this student’s concern…her parents are going to come and look for evidence of misbehavior.
@Lilliana330
Not necessarily… my parents were quite controlling. Not quite as bad as OP’s parents, but in their own way. I know from experience that once you are living on campus, you can usually do what you want and they will not know. And I have not tried to control my kids’ own activities in college, They picked their own majors, made their own decisions on summer work and activities, etc. The only “controlling” thing I have done is voice some disapproval of my youngest’s freeline skate acquisition (I suggested that if she must get them, she wear a helmet, but she is having none of it…). I certainly can’t ban them, but YES, she did fall off them and break her arm on campus this summer. 
$900 in doctor’s bills later… But she could have not told me she even had them (I only know because she told me), and made up some other excuse for the arm injury.
@mom2collegekids LOL not at all. They miss me, plain and simple (& so do I, despite not picking up the phone sometimes). 
They’ve only come 3-4 times, not counting picking me up for breaks. Half the time I’ve asked them to come…It’s not a big deal. CA driving time = scaled differently. They drive the same distance when we go to Six Flags MM, so they figure why not do it to see their child lol. I enjoy these visits, as they often entail eating out & shopping for stuff that’s a car ride away/not accessible by metro. 
Woogzmama: hopefully, when we visited there were many Muslims there and girls wearing the hijab. It was pretty diverse on both campuses
Well I guess I’m just going to have to lay out all the options and see if things are different/better come April. Just have to make sure to meet all the deadlines for safeties until then
Outside of wearing the hijab (or can you wear a head scarf?) - do you have any relatives that can help support what you are looking for with school? - you may be assuming the worst out of your parents and how much ‘control’ they will exert from a distance. What do you want to major in? Do your parents expect you to have an arranged marriage? Do the campuses all have an all women’s dorm that you can live in? Rather than confront them about things, just look for ways that will give them the ‘surface comfort’ they are looking for. Hopefully you can have the college experiences you desire. Once at school, keep giving them positive messages in your time frame may hold them off from frequent visiting. My college was only 100 miles away from home, but parents only surprised me one time when they came up for a business conference - and I was in a chemistry lab (so I came out to the hall to talk to them a bit). After that, they arranged ahead so I would meet them in evening for dinner - I would either meet them at restaurant or they would come and get me to drive to restaurant. My parents were very controlling when I was in HS (they were on all the daughters; double standard for their sons). They liked my college boyfriend (now husband of 35 years) - they always considered him their best SIL…
OP, reading this I can’t help but think that at least you’ll be out of the house. Even with weekly visits, how much can your parents control you when you’re not living under the same roof? My sister is a senior in college and lives at home and she still has to ask permission every time she goes out. Half the time, my parents will say no. There’s nothing she can do about it. Once you get out of the house you’ll realize how much freedom you have.
@viewthroughkohl0 Also make sure they don’t make you get one of those tracking apps! 
I don’t actually wear the hijab (though they want me to) and my closest relatives are in California, so not so great on that part. I wanted to double in International Studies and Cognitive Behavior/Neuroscience, but they’re not particularly concerned about that. Dorming worries them, and neither State nor Emory have womens’ dorms (though Tech does if I’m not mistaken). So @SOSConcern , they backed off a bit after you and your sisters graduated? I’m hoping that a lot of their claims are just bluffs but…
Sumoboats: I have some arab friends who dormed and a few that didn’t, and while the ones who did had a lot more wiggle room their parents still had a tight grip on them, and out of them mine are the strictest.
Liliana: my dad actually suggested that just the other day haha, but I don’t think he’d go through with that and even if he did it would only make a big difference here in the hometown and not in a different city already. Or just get a different cheap phone to use for practical purposes and leave that one for them