<p>What a summer. For this thread's record (which I think has much value and wisdom), here is where my daughter and I stand as she prepares to leave for senior year at boarding school.</p>
<p>She has visited: Columbia twice, U Chicago, NYU, Williams (with me); Stanford, Berkeley (with uncle); Johns Hopkins (with best friend). These visits were worth every minute and dollar spent; we have learned a great deal, far too much to summarize here. It has also been important for our relationship (so many of the posts above reveal the emotional growth inherent in this process). </p>
<p>Currently, she is wrestling with applying ED to Columbia. Even if financial aid were not a consideration, I think she would still be questioning this, because she felt very comfortable and welcomed at Chicago and NYU. Each offers her (somewhat differently) what she wants and needs academically and musically, she enjoyed the students she met, loves an urban campus. The Columbia "pull," as she puts it, remains, however. Perhaps because it's an Ivy... she is trying to understand it. She will speak with her college counselor shortly after she returns to school, and will also speak (again) to admissions reps when they visit her school this fall. </p>
<p>She liked Stanford but found it too suburban and not diverse enough for her; Berkeley impressed her more and she might apply (though it's no bargain for out-of-state students). Williams was also impressive but confirmed her certainty that she wants a large urban environment (she's been on a beautiful campus in the hills for four years, and we live in a tiny town nowhere special on eastern Long Island), a true core curriculum, and access to graduate courses and students, especially in French. She did not like Johns Hopkins at all, finding it too focused on pre-professional prep and not enough on education for its own sake. </p>
<p>Eye opening for me were conversations with financial aid officers at Columbia, Chicago and NYU. The criteria for application as a single parent are different at all three, with NYU the most forgiving of her spordically supportive father and Chicago the least. I felt welcome at all, however, which surprised me. I was very surprised at the variation in policies. I expect to be in close touch with these people; I hope they're still just as nice to me by the end of the process... </p>
<p>I think the ED issue will be a tough one for my daughter to solve in the next few weeks. There are so many variables confounding it. The rivalries between schools, the "crapshoot" of Ivy RD, the possibility of better financial aid elsewhere than Columbia will offer... U Chicago's need for information from her father (although I still have to clarify exactly what they require from him) complicates an otherwise straightforward application there. Otherwise, her acceptance chances are good and we could be reasonably sure of enough aid from them so that it might be worth holding off on Columbia ED to compare offers. But we don't know what her father's financial situation is and if he did cooperate in filing the forms, he might expose an income high enough to make her ineligible for need based aid (no matter that he has said I have to take him to court to get him to pay any EFC share). Or he might be unemployed... NYU and Columbia are both willing to disregard him, given his history of noninvolvement, which I find remarkable and generous. Single parents, take note.</p>
<p>For the record, given our work schedules, we just weren't able to fit in visits to U Penn and Yale, which were both on my daughter's list. Her school might help arrange those this fall if she really wants to go, but I don't hear that from her right now. She will, however, probably spend a night at Columbia with former classmates there. </p>
<p>It will be so interesting if this thread can track where our children wind up a year from now... at the moment, in our lives, I don't dare guess.</p>