<p>^^Until you start listening to the traffic reports every morning, praying that some day you hear “(insert highway here) is running smooth as butter, almost no cars” but that day never comes.</p>
<p>Like, I wouldn’t mind a 45 minute driving commute if it was on a fun country road in a sporty car. 45 minutes of bumper to bumper traffic is dehumanizing.</p>
<p>Wow I agree that you absolutely should work on changing your parents mind this winter. Lots of great postings here. I’m 45 years old and living in the dorms at a large state school in the 80s was awesome and wonderful in so many ways. Study groups, eating together, there were always friends around me, old and new. It’s not high school…all the kids in my dorm were so openly accepting of others, variety of personalities, it was just great. My friends who commuted locally still regret missing out on living away from home during those years (age 18 - 22). There is truly nothing like it. The Pitt idea (same cost while living away) is great. Also, coming home every other weekend or less is a great promise to your parents. GOOD LUCK. Don’t do the commute.</p>
<p>
Took the words out of my mouth.</p>
<p>It depends on how long a commute you are willing to put up with. For me personally, saving less than 1.5 hours one-way makes it seem really, really stupid to pay extra for dorms. Two hours one way would be stretching it, I guess. </p>
<p>And trust me, you’ll be much more independent once you get to college than you were in high school, whether you stay at home or not. Either way you’re not going to be horribly stunted, at least not for your freshman year. After about 1.5 years you might start fighting in earnest to live closer to school, and spend that time proving beyond a doubt that you can do it.</p>
<p>(Disclaimer: am a commuter and enjoying it. :))
(PS: Find a train, if at all possible. Driving should be your last option and would make it not worth commuting.)</p>
<p>It’s because you bring up ALL THE WRONG REASONS to her, especially if she’s paying. Parents who shelter do not want to hear about women and socializing. Previously-sheltered students, from my (and maybe your parent’s) experience, are the ones most likely to overcompensate for that when they get away from home. Give them credit for some wisdom. And be wiser with your arguments and info you share. For example, ask them how you could be a great engineering (for example) student by commuting 2 hrs. per day. Explain the number of group projects you will be working on. Explain the need to use the campus library. Agree with them that your success is their success (and vice versa). Be COMPELLING, kid. And pay your own way.</p>
<p>@iPhoneHacker who was @MSFHQsite
I don’t think he meant it as a mean thing, it was more like. Hey, you’re 18 remember? you’re an adult now. Your mother wants you to do something; you have the power to do or not to do it. If you’re paying for it, and it’s your loan, then what your mom suggests is only as relevant as you want it to be.
I know a lot of commuters who don’t get to get close to anyone because they don’t have a meal plan and can’t sit with their friends. Contrary to popular belief campus life doesn’t revolve around keg-ers; you’ll lose a lot of the experiences you could have by living off campus. Also I find it harder to study at home, where I have a mountain of distractions, than on campus where I’m glued to my desk and bed. I work in the Library and you wouldn’t believe the number of times commuters have found out their flash drive failed or their paper didn’t send and had no way of getting their work printed off in time. If my technology fails, I can run to my room really quick, but they cannot.
If what your parents think matters to you, tell your parents that commuting is the equivalent to taking another 3 hour class on top of your course load, because IT IS. for a 3 credit hour class you should spend 3 hours in class and 6 hours studying. Driving wastes time. If you take 16 credit hours, you are practically taking 19 credit hours because you spend 10 hours in the car driving Every. Single. Day. and it will cost the same price as another class in gas. You would be better off getting a dorm room so you could use the campuses epic lab facilities any time you want. =D I think that is a good argument.</p>
<p>The whole “Freshman Experience” has been all hype for me. My parents were similar in wanting me to stay home for college since I live 15 minutes away from my school. However they eventually agreed to let me live on campus this year. Honestly though I sort of wish I didnt, since the noise, food, and people in my dorm are mostly annoying or bad. </p>
<p>However let me tell you, the friends you make in the dorms are not “True” friends at all, they are just people who you happen to be stuck with for a year. I have yet to find real friends in my university, and hope to someday actually find a decent club and meet some people out here.</p>
<p>Indeed, the great debate over to commute or to not commute is not something that is cut and dry, nor is anything in this complex world. I myself am I college freshman and was prodded into commuting by my parents who weren’t too keen on forking over 12,000 in residential fees, and since they are contributing, I can’t blame them. During the whole college search, I actually wasn’t even sure If I wanted to dorm (mostly because of money, but also because I wasn’t sure if it would be a learning environment conducive to academic success, as I enjoy my privacy to a certain extent, but maybe I should blame it on my parents who drilled it in my head that I should commute).
Nevertheless, the decision was made to commute, and over the course of my first semester I have found it to have the oft-talked about benefits and drawbacks. Its about a 15 minute drive(sometimes more depending on traffic), plus an additional 10-15 minutes to find a parking spot and to walk to class. It has been beneficial in the sense that I don’t have to subsist over overpriced cafeteria food, and that I have the quite space of my own basement to do my work. I have found the campus library to be very distracting, and if I did live there, I dont know how I would manage to get my work done, but I probably would have adapted. Going back and forth to campus hasnt been much of a hassal, and I’ve actually been able to get involved in a club. Unfortunately, thats where the negatives start to come in. I work and have obligations to my family, and I am often unable to attend the social functions of my club(also due to overprotective parents who always want to know where I am and when im coming home, kind of a drag when you’re trying to have fun). Commuting has also limited me to involvement in one club because it would be difficult to participate in others since they meet at random times, and its simply not feasible for me to constantly go back and forth. Networking has been harder, as you would expect, and I havent made any of those true “friend” connections that one develops with their peers in high school. Luckily, since many of my friends stayed home for college, i have been able to keep in touch with them and hang out occassionaly, so my social life isnt all that bad, but its still kind of depressing walking around campus not really knowing anyone to well, or when I am invited by some residents to hang out for that once in a blue moon, i kind of feel like that third wheel. Also, my transportation, an old hoopty, has cost me about 300 to keep up this semester, and thats not even counting gas.
Anyway, with regards to your situation, an hour commute is way too much. I dont know where you live in philly, but if schools like temple or villanova or closer, you might want to consider them as viable commuting options. But overall, if you can maintain some social connections from hs, join a club on campus, and keep your eye on the prize, commuting aint all that bad. Think that you’ll come out of college debt free and all of those frat-boy residents will be coming out 40k in the hole. And in today’s economy, many more are choosing commuting over dorming, as the latter is simply a luxury that many can’t afford. Make the best of it, that’s what this life is all about. You’re blessed to be living in America, let alone healthy and able to attend college. Remember, these are only four years of our lives.</p>
<p>My mom refuses to believe that there are any positives to living on campus, and completely ignores anything I bring up, she just wants to “protect me from the trouble”. My mom was even convinced that the only reason I applied to Penn State was because it was a party school, rather than acknowledging the fact that I applied there because its one of the top engineering schools in the country. Really, I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m sick of the thought of spending another 4 years with my parents, and want to enjoy my life while becoming an engineer. I need help!</p>
<p>I am a freshman who commutes to the University of Michigan (in Ann Arbor) right now, and trust me it sucks. The worst part is my parents had offered to pay for my dorms before the year started, when i hadn’t made my decision to commute or not yet; they seemed to have changed their minds for some reason (maybe because the economy tanked recently in Michigan). Anyway, I am definitely moving on campus for the rest of my time here. To convince them, don’t mention girls or partying, becuase that will only encourage them to force you to live at home. Just mention that you can’t afford to spend two hours a day on driving when you already have the heavy workload of an engineering undergrad (this is what I did; i only live about 12 miles from campus but my commute takes an hour and a half, one way, sometimes thanks to the fact that you can’t park right on campus at UMich). Of course, I have to pay for my dorming, but you honestly don’t save that much by commuting, thanks to gas, and the fact that you usually don’t have a meal plan (necessitating you to spend a lot of money on dorm food/restaurants).</p>
<p>Granted, your experience might be different, UMich is definitely a residential campus (even locals from Ann Arbor dorm, for the most part, and 98% of freshmen dorm while most of the other 2% live in apartments/houses) while Drexel, I believe has many commuters.</p>
<p>For my money, I commuted to community college for my first year, and then transferred to a 98% residential college about 1100 miles away from home. The year spent commuting was absolutely miserable for me. The driving 30 min both ways was awful, and being uninvolved in any of the usual college activities was mind numbing. Going to a residential college, and living there has far, far more benefits than downsides. The sense of community, and the perks that go along with living on campus are wonderful. Though the disparity in difficulty between the two schools is kind of silly, say if I could have theoretically had the intense workload that I have now when I was commuting I wouldn’t have been able to hack it. When you’re driving to school it really cuts down on the ability to stay up until 4 in the morning working on your chem lab books, or studying for exams with a few close friends. And a little bit of partying is in order honestly, if you can do it responsibly. And having a few not quite legal drinks with close friends has to be better than coming home and drowning yourself in your parent’s grain alcohol supply (sorry, I couldn’t help the stereotype - it’s way too tempting)</p>
<p>Granted I’m probably a little bit biased because my school’s dining hall is also pretty damn good. Not on everything, but they do make a vegetarian moussaka better than me, which is shocking, honestly.</p>