Parents --What I've learned in 4 years

Colleges and Universities A-Z Service Academy Parents
1

<p>Four years ago, we were sitting where you are. This is what I've learned [what I can remember] so far.</p>

<p>It'll be okay. The government will wrench your child away from you like no other college-parent will experience. The Navy gives you a few more minutes, teh Army less. But, make no mistake, you child is yanked from your bosom. Never to return.</p>

<p>I-day [in Annapolis] is HOT, HUMID, LONG, EMOTIONAL. Prepare.</p>

<p>The first call is the hardest. Wasn't that a song or something? There is likely to be emotion, bear with it. RECORD the call; you and the mid/cadet will enjoy listening to it later.</p>

<p>Be proud, but restrained. I've likened this to a pregnancy. The summer is like the first trimester. You may talke to a few people about it, but you don't go about bragging or naming the kid just then. YOu have lots of time to be proud. Get through the summer.</p>

<p>PPW [or equivalent] is remarkable. They come back so clean and sparkiling. They are proud and confident. Enjoy it.</p>

<p>Thanksgiving is very short. A lot of air fare for just over 72 hours. But, if you can afford it, it is worth it.</p>

<p>Christmas. It DOES get easier [for them] to send them back. That first return, I marveled at how easy it was for him to get back on the plane. It was still hard for us.</p>

<p>Spring Break. Comes and goes in a flash.</p>

<p>Herndon [recognition or equivalent] is a joyful time. They have made it through the first year.</p>

<p>Tell your mid to become involved w/ some group or organizaiton. Whether it is a sport, an activity, a musical group, a club, a choir, or something else, your mid/cadet will need a group of friends outside of his/her company who he can count on.</p>

<p>As a plebe, please, please, please, rmeind your mid/cadet to remain focused on the job at hand. Follow the regs/rules/law. It is so easy to become distracted and lose sight of why they are there.<br>
Separation is not pretty. </p>

<p>Study. study. and study some more. Keep those grades up. Work hard. Harder than they've ever worked before to keep those grades up. Get extra instruciton. Tutoring. Whatiever it takes to keep those grades up.</p>

<p>With good grades come good assignments. Grades, Grades, Grades. Then Grades!</p>

<p>Stay in touch w/ mom and dad. Unfortunately, if the foundation is not there to begin w/, he or she may not call/write [does anybody write anymore?] as often as you might like. Encourage them to do so anyway.</p>

<p>Visit as frequently as your budget and time allow.</p>

<p>Go to a football game. [Personally, I would defer Army/Navy to at least youngster year, but that was just us.] </p>

<p>Take the grandparetns at least once, if at all possible.</p>

<p>I'll try to think of more.
Youngster year and later . . . later.</p>

<p>Best of luck.</p>

2

<p>Remember . . . this is their adventure.
You can be excited. You can be proud. You can even be middle-aged envious. But this is their adventure.</p>

<p>They get to make mistakes. The get to do well.</p>

<p>Don’t put soooooo much pressure on them about how prooouuuud that myyyy sooooonnnnn/daauughter is in teh NA.</p>

<p>The results can be disasterous.</p>

<p>I don’t care to guess that these instances are more than a few dozen, but be aware that more than a few mids have ahd to go home, in disgrace, to find a community that went overboard in supporting them.</p>

<p>Let your mid have some space. Let them prevail or fail as the case may be.</p>

<p>Do a little searching on the internet and you will see a current example where a mid who is not graduating but intead is beginning a jail sentence because, she claims, teh pressure was too much.</p>

<p>BE SUPPORTIVE. Balance yourself.</p>

<p>I’ll let others chime in for a bit.</p>

3

<p>What your cadet will learn in four years.</p>

<p>As a followup to Bill0510’s post, I gave some thought about how to explain to new parents the kind of dramatic and positive changes they can expect to see in their sons/daughters during the next four years. While every cadet will have a unique experience, I believe there are some universal changes that take place.</p>

<p>Our firstie son left for West Point with no previous personal or family military experience. Other than a shotgun and 22 fired during boy scout outings, he hadn’t fired a weapon. </p>

<p>One long, and three short years later, he will graduate a physically fit, leadership experienced, and highly motivated officer in the United States Army. He also will take with him an excellent academic education, travel experiences and personal friendships that will last for life. </p>

<p>Not to diminish his accomlishments, but our son is the norm, not the exception at West Point. The officers, teachers and support staff at our academies are extremely committed to their mission. And they are good at what they do.</p>

<p>New Parents, our military academies will take excellent care of your ‘sapling’ sons and daughters. The myriad of experiences offered by the academies enable cadets to sprout new areas of knowledge and expertise while developing deep routed personal and leadership values. I am confident your sons/daughters will thrive in the furtile environment of our academies. Ours did.</p>

4

<p>Great thread. Thanks for the posts. I already feel my emotions running like a roller coaster. And I have plenty to keep me busy right now. Working out of town week after week after week. Older son getting married mid June. Still, I find tears in my eyes when I allow myself to think of all that lies ahead for my son at USNA.</p>

5

<p>Youngster year [the second year] is kind of a quiet year. The “forgotten” year we liked to call it.
Your mid will return, after a fulfililng and, hopefully, exciting summer.
He/she is more comfortable with himself. Hopefully, the confidence gained over th e summer will translate to an exciting second year.</p>

<p>The second class does not midn them much. The firsties ignore them.
Classwork comes more naturally to them.
They are able to better manage their duties.</p>

<p>Until towards the end of the year, when teh reality of “signing up” comes up.
Still, it’s all good.
The Army/Navy game is more fun. There is a littlbe bit more freedom to visit w/ parents and others. Maybe an overnight. [This is why I recommend waiting until second year before going; you both will hae more fun.]</p>

<p>Anyway, enjoy it.</p>

6

<p>I’ve said “semper gumby” to myself more than anything else this year.</p>

<p>Don’t count on supposed leave times. They seem to change often with scheduled duties, etc. Had one fall weekend leave that went much longer than expected. On a fluke, I was visiting so switched MY flight fast to grab the extra time. Slice of heaven for me!</p>

<p>Don’t count on holidays. Spring Break disappeared when he qualified for further competition in his club sport. I went to see him instead - SO glad I had a backup plan!</p>

<p>Don’t count on Sea Trials or Herndon. Mid drew a 0 block assignment and there went my hopes for enjoying! I did order the DVDs as his company will be in them but he won’t…</p>

<p>Don’t count on intercessional leave dates until the ink is dry on the paper (or whatever the equivalent is). AND always spend the money for the airfare that saves or switches easily. He had about 36 hours chopped AFTER we had the ticket home. But it worked out and it was heaven to have him here for a few days.</p>

<p>Count on: No matter what happens, there is support there for your plebe in a way that gets them through the toughest times. This was put to the test for us this year when my son’s friend/company mate passed away in the fall. The words spoken by the mid’s father (USNA grad) to my son will be something he will remember FOREVER. </p>

<p>Count on: The same support is there for you. Every question you can come up with, someone has a solid answer. I remain in awe.</p>

<p>Count on: Increasing excitement! The future is exciting!</p>

<p>Count on: It being about them, not you. :)</p>