Parents Who Rat Out "Competitor" Applicants

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Can parents stick to the parents section, please?

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Um ... isn't this the parents' section? And isn't it a thread about parents and the college admissions process?
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If YOU are a parent on collegeconfidential, well, you're one tiny step away from this.

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And if YOU are a student on CC, you are going to get better, more accurate information from most of the parents on this board than most of the 17 year olds on the other forums - I guarantee it.
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I have witnessed - frequently - parents undermine other children and teenagers in order to put their own ahead.

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Me too, spideygirl - though I've never known any of them to send anonymous letters. I agree with those who say that a letter shouldn't be sent unless you're willing to sign your name to it. And I think anonymous letters ought to be ignored as a matter of policy.</p>

<p>I'm thinking I wouldn't mind if someone had ratted out this kid, because I doubt this is the first time he's done this.</p>

<p>UCLA</a> investigates reported sexual assaults - Los Angeles Times</p>

<p>"When we visited Haverford we were so weirded out by their honor code. Apparently, students can report other students for violating rules and bring them up to a student-run court that is secret and no one is allowed to speak about what goes on in it. In addition, if two students are taking the same test in a certain class, they are instructed not to mention it to one another, even instructed how to respond if asked about it--"oh, it was a test"--not, "it was hard" or "I feel like I bombed", etc. There was a chilling sense of rigidity and every man for himself that really turned us off."</p>

<p>I like that honor code. I don't see it as "every man for himself." Nothing is preventing students from doing things like studying together for an exam. However, students are expected to take tests completely on their own. The fact that discussion of tests is prohibited means that when profs give the same test to different sections of a class, there's a good chance that the students who take the test first and those who take it last have equal chances of doing well, something that's not the case in many colleges.</p>

<p>"And who is to say that a mistake made by a young person defines his character forever?"</p>

<p>I don't think anyone has said that. However, I think that a student who has been caught cheating should have less of a chance of getting into college than would a student with the same stats who hasn't been caught cheating. Still, there are enough colleges in this country that even students who have been suspended or expelled can find colleges that will accept them, and then those students can make good reputations for themselves and go on to achieve whatever they are capable of achieving.</p>

<p>As to the OP's question: Never heard of a parent's "ratting out" some student who's competing with their kid. I think that schools would circular file letters they got that basically said variations of "so and so shouldn't be admitted because she's not nice." However, if a letter said that a student had been suspended for fighting or cheating, I imagine that the college would follow-up with the h.s. to determine if that were true, and only if the h.s. verified the info would it be held against the student.</p>

<p>"As if they don't cheat."</p>

<p>Wow, powerbomb, what a comment. </p>

<p>My D doesn't cheat. A good number of the kids in HER school don't cheat, either. We live in the south, maybe things are different down here. I'm sure there are some who cheat, but a pretty good # do not. High school is not so much of a rat race, perhaps.</p>

<p>My niece in VA did tell me that her aunt (on dad's side) did advise her son to cheat on a geometry test one morning when the son was worrying out loud about it. My niece was shocked.</p>

<p>Dean J, I find it disconcerting that parents are even in contact with adcoms. As a parent, I would not dream of calling an adcom. Even about my own kid!</p>

<p>I am with Soozievt on this one. I have enough to do with my own kids without having to worry about giving info to an adcom about another kid. </p>

<p>I do know, however, that it does happen. There was a story some years ago about a young lady whose acceptance to Harvard was rescinded because of the small detail of her killing her parent was left out of the app. Apparently someone sent the info on to Harvard. Harvard said that her admissions was rescinded not because of what she did but because she did not report the incident when there was a place asking about crimes.</p>

<p>cpt...my point, however, was that I wouldn't even dream of calling an adcom ever....about my own children. I don't see that as my role. My kids applied; I didn't. </p>

<p>I recall when I took my oldest child in her junior year in March to visit a college and that day they were running tours but not information sessions and while we were waiting, I asked how come no information sessions. I was told that the admissions decisions had just gone out and that the adcoms were too busy fielding calls from parents whose kids were not admitted. I was shocked as I can't even dream of doing that. So, if I can't fathom THAT, I certainly can't fathom calling about someone else's child!</p>

<p>I agree, Soozievt. There are parents who have a lot of time on their hands. It's amazing to me that their noses should even be in other kids' application process.</p>

<p>I sympathize with parents worried for their kids' admission chances, but an adult getting so involved with a random high schooler's life... strikes me as very inappropriate. If the circumstance is serious enough, as in the kid is putting someone in the hospital or something similar, the adcoms will find out about it.</p>

<p>I know that many kids from my school who are applying to top schools and they cheat. Everyone in my grade seems to have a fixation with Bucknell, Cornell, and Penn State UPark. I've spent my entire four years of high school with a lot of the same 15 or 20 kids because the most competative students tend to take all the same classes. I've witnessed rampant cheating in almost every class I've ever been. I think because teachers assume that the kids taking the more advanced classes have higher standards and are not going to cheat, they don't watch them as closely, but it's actually quite the opposite. I've seen kids making cheat sheets all the time for spanish quizzes, vocab tests in english, everything.... These kids are ranked at the top of my class and it does make me incredibly angry. Although, I can't imagine one of my parents or myself even writing in a letter to colleges. The way I think of it is that if they can't even handle high school work (and easy high school work at that) then even if they do get admitted they're not going to be able to do the work OR get away with cheating. Karma sucks.</p>

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Dean J, I find it disconcerting that parents are even in contact with adcoms. As a parent, I would not dream of calling an adcom. Even about my own kid!

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We get calls from parents at all stages of the process...some ask about course selection, check on app status, ask about decisions, etc. This is very normal these days. I'd love to talk to students about those things, but understand that some aren't being pushed to take charge of the process or they're feel too busy to make the calls. It's gotten to the point that talking to a student in the days after decisions have be released is noteworthy enough to mention to colleagues. On one of those days (we call them "decision call" days), I'll talk to about 25 parents and maybe 2 students.</p>

<p>Parents of elementary and middle school children are calling more often these days as they face decisions about where their child will go to school next. When those calls started coming in, I was done being surprised by "Dean of the Day" calls (what we call them in my office).</p>

<p>Isn't is weird that high school students might need to keep their target colleges secret from their classmates? I'd like to be able to go through the admissions WITH my friends, not against them. It's just not like a school atmosphere if everyone's determined to keep their college lists secret.</p>

<p>I don't think it is a big issue that parents are calling. There may be things that they want to have clarified. After all many of them are paying big bucks for college, their life savings, etc. 18 year olds do not always have the most important concerns up front or even in mind.</p>

<p>College is still the parents' responsibility as many a poster has learned when finding out that if parents can afford college, there is no financial aid forthcoming. I know colleges want to have it both ways. The parents to pay and the less informed and experienced kids asking the questions. Anyone making the kind of monetary investment it takes to pay for a kid's college, should be asking any questions he might have.</p>

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I don't think it is a big issue that parents are calling.

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Agreed. It's completely normal.</p>

<p>I do think that there are some calls that parents could encourage their students to make. It really makes our day when the students call about their own applications and even if they have to work off a script, I think it could help a less confidant student being to grow comfortable with speaking to their administrators.</p>

<p>I have no problem with parents calling about logistics...such as setting up information sessions, tours, appointments, checking the status of the file (if complete). I meant to say that I can't fathom talking to an adcom about the admissions decision or about my kid.</p>

<p>" I've witnessed rampant cheating in almost every class I've ever been. I think because teachers assume that the kids taking the more advanced classes have higher standards and are not going to cheat, they don't watch them as closely, but it's actually quite the opposite. I've seen kids making cheat sheets all the time for spanish "</p>

<p>The cheating will continue until the people like you let teachers know what's going on. Every time you know about someone's cheating, and you don't speak up, that's telling the cheater that it's fine to cheat.</p>

<p>Ive always been one reluctant to give out names and ratting people out. I mean when you go to rat some1 out to a college, you could be ruining someone's life and everything they worked for. Obviously if the situation is life threatening, then you should call, but otherwise I know I would not be able to live with myself knowing that I will cause someone else a whole lot of grief.</p>

<p>" I mean when you go to rat some1 out to a college, you could be ruining someone's life and everything they worked for. "</p>

<p>No, if the person cheated, THEY would be the one who wrecked their own opportunities. </p>

<p>And about snitching: Would you feel the same about people who knew who committed a crime, yet didn't turn them in? After all, the same principle would apply from your standpoint. The criminal could end up in prison and lose everything they'd worked for.</p>

<p>but NSM, how can a rival parent really be sure that they know what they think they know? My daughter's psycho stalker would (and has) look you in the eye and tell you that my daughter deserves whatever she (the mother) does because she is a cheat. When pressed, she would tell you that my daughter cheated her daughter out of many things. How, you may ask did my daughter do this? By being alive. The woman has said straight out that my daughter should be dead. If you didn't know the back story and this indignant woman told you that my daughter was a cheat, you might believe her and my daughter has never behaved dishonestly. She just exists.</p>

<p>zoosermom, Wow, what a psycho!</p>