Ole Miss looks like the way to go. You get full tuition + room + board. You could make up other expenses with a part time job or a small loan You will not be dependent on your parents for any funds and your success will be entirely your own. You have a good fallback plan.
You also need to grow up and your family needs to compromise. Relax about it, it will happen eventually. Teenagers drive parents crazy, and if they were born and educated abroad they don’t understand your expereince and probably never will. They still love you even if the way they show it is not optimal. We had a similar experience with our oldest who insisted on doing everything his own way. He ended up doing extremely well at a directional university and now teaches in China. I had the same issues as you with my Dad (Asian born). Our youngest was like your sister, smooth sailing and is following the ‘Asian’ path, but that is what he likes.
You don’t have to be in an Asian profession anymore. Our immigrant parents were doctors, engineers and pharmacists. The next generation added architects, builders, technologists and managers. The latest are lawyers, artists and musicians and writers.
Show them this ranking, which I like because it accounts for cost: Rice is #4, TAMU is #13 on the list. UT #50, and St. Marys #52. UT-D is even on the list.
http://new.time.com/money/best-colleges/rankings/best-colleges/
We’re going to agree to disagree on this. IMO the military has one of the most even handed, color blind evaluation systems I have ever seen.
Opinions like that about the military are usually given by 1 of 2 kinds of people. Either someone who served during racially tense eras during draft years and not volunteer eras, or someone who has never served, but read an article recently about a minority being hazed and deemed 1.4 million service members as racist. 3000 drill instructs train 52,000 recruise a year. 5 have died in boot camp since the ribbon creek incident in 1965. 2 recently due to hazing, and the Marines have had to reform many processes due to these 2 idiot instructors which tarnished our distinguished image. We are among the best in the nation at minority acceptance. We desegregated in 1942. Your schools didn’t start until the 60s. 5 deaths in 50 years of Marine boot camp training, which has trained 2.6 million service members in 50 years. Theres not a statistic that can touch that rate in American society.
I’m not going to get into the debate about the military and minorities…it’s not something I have personal knowledge of. However, I would caution that the military is not likely a promising environment for someone who has been traumatized by verbal abuse and an over-controlling and demeaning environment to the point where he is afraid of inflicting self-harm. The military may be a good agent of maturation for young people who have not had enough structure and authority in their lives (or who are already fairly stable and disciplined.) I think OP is too vulnerable. I worry that (depending on the severity of his home environment) even an appropriate boot camp experience could set off some PTSD-like reactions.
I think that either the all-expenses paid scenarios (like Ole’ Miss, if he can get it) or living at home but spending most of his waking hours at the community college (IF he works hard, controls his temper and IF his parents begin to treat him with a modicum of civility.) Honestly, I think the more financially independent of his parents he can be in college, the better off he will be in setting boundaries with his parents as he becomes an adult.
@marioooooo
If you can get a big NMSF scholarship at Ole Miss, you can also apply for one or more of their special programs, such as Barksdale Honors College, Center for Manufacturing Excellence, Croft Institute for International Studies, Chinese Flagship Program, or Lott Leadership Institute.
http://olemiss.edu/academics/#institutesprograms
you could get extra $$$ that might get you a full ride or close to it. and even if Ole Miss is not Top 50, you could legitimately tell your parents that the Honors College is one of the best in the nation. or you could tell them that you got accepted into one or more of the prestigious competitive special programs available at Ole Miss. maybe this will satisfy their craving for some measure of prestige.
you could try the same thing with Alabama’s Honors College and apply for special programs such as Computer-Based Honors Program or Blount Undergraduate Initiative.
Point is, if you can’t make your parents happy with a Top-50 school, maybe they can be swayed by a big NMSF Scholarship which is a great honor in itself, plus Honors College, plus one or two more special programs that carry some level of prestige or recognition. maybe all of that might elevate Ole Miss or Alabama in their eyes to an acceptable level on the prestige-o-meter.
the main thing is get the heck away from home. in your case you might benefit from a school that’s not a pressure-cooker environment right out of the gate. that will give you some time to make friends and start building a new support system to replace the one that your parents are unfortunately not giving you. also you should get into the counseling center ASAP wherever you go, so you can start talking thru and working thru some of these issues.
also if you get a full ride somewhere, i don’t see what prevents you from just going there even if your parents object.
good luck and do post back with updates.