<p>I am an out-of-state student who is currently a freshman in my second semester. I have been at this school for just about a full school year and I can safely say that I hate it. I have been wanting to transfer for quite some time but there is a problem that I have. My parents are very consistent that I stay at the school where I begin. Last semester I spent a whole week trying to convince them to let me transfer somewhere closer to home. It eventually got to the point that I just gave it up and went on with my life.</p>
<p>The school that I am at now is a huge southern state college with tons of partying. I choose to not partake in any drinking or smoking etc. I have made friends here, but as the year has progressed I have seen them conform to the party scene and I never see them on the weekends anymore. Probably the most real friend that is the most similar to me that I have made has to transfer after this year due to financial reasons. And just recently, I almost got into a fight with a punk on the other team at the gym while playing a friendly pick-up game of basketball. He called me a variety of cuss words when I made a play that he didn't agree with. Honestly, I would choose staying in the dorm, watching movies and eating junk food on a Friday night rather than go to the bars like everyone else. </p>
<p>I thought I would enjoy a larger school more than a smaller school, but in reality I believe I would enjoy a smaller school even more. I can do my current program of study right now at a smaller school back in my home state while having my parents spend $15,000 for my tuition rather than $40,000 right now. Even with this, they persist on making me stay here! They keep telling me to try and find a "group" to associate with and make friends. (Believe me, I have tried.) They even got mad at me when I chose not to join a fraternity! However, during the week that I talked with my parents about it last semester, my mom told me something about trying to stay here at least one full year before transferring. I am more than likely going to try to talk with them on the phone this week and really tell them how I feel. Between the week that I first told them that I wanted to transfer to now, I have only pretended to be happy at this school so that they would not treat me any differently. Now that the semester is almost coming to an end I cannot hold it in any longer. What should I tell them and how should I approach this? Thank you!</p>
<p>I think you have said it all right here. Why not show them this post? Do you have a school in mind to transfer to? And could you apply soon, as a transfer, or has the application date passed? Even if it has, you could call the school to find out. If you have an alternate plan, with facts, tuition amount, and all that, maybe it would make it simpler for them to understand, it’s not that big a deal, kids transfer all the time for different reasons. Look at the transfer posts here on CC. It is done all the time. I think a year is a good effort on your part, it’s not like you want to leave after a week. </p>
<p>Is it past the deadline for transfer applications? If not, apply to some colleges you are interested. If it is, then plan a transfer for the following year. This doesn’t mean your parents will agree, but, if you are accepted at some choices, then you would have options to discuss. No sense in arguing to transfer if you aren’t accepted. </p>
<p>It’s better to make a case over a definite plan. Instead of “I hate it here”, you can say " I have been accepted to college X to study Y. The cost is $ less than what you are paying now…Would you consider letting me attend?"</p>
<p>You have stated your reasons, but also consider your parents’ reasons. They must feel strongly about your college if they are willing to spend more to send you there. Is it a better school than your in state colleges? A peer group, relationship, there they don’t approve of? Their alma matter? For them to consider a transfer, you need to also consider their reasons when choosing a college to transfer to.</p>
<p>They may be concerned that you are running away from problems rather than facing them. Social problems can happen anywhere. You might transfer and find yourself in the same situation wherever you go. The grass isn’t necessarily greener somewhere else. There are partiers and bullies everywhere. That said, another college might fit you better, but maybe a well set plan is more successful than transferring to get out.</p>
<p>Chances are, many of the deadlines have passed, and you will need to aim to transfer next year. Carefully research and even visit potential colleges that fit both your and your parents’ criteria as much as possible. Apply. Then do your best to make the most of where you are at. Do your academic best. Think of where to make friends. Surely there are students who don’t party where you are. Consider going to student health counseling to learn about yourself- why you may be unhappy is part you and part where you are. Following a plan will lead you to your options for next year.</p>