parents

<p>Ok, I'm having a problem with my parents and I need some advice. Neither of my parents went to college and they've been pushing me to go to college ever since...well forever. Now I've been accepted and I'm looking forward to it, and I'm really proud of myself. HOWEVER, my parents make fun of me for it all the time. like, 'you think you're so much smarter than us just because you're going to college.' OK, i've NEVER said or thought that. I love my parents and know that they're smarter than me because they've lived life. I tell them that and they still don't believe me. They tease me about going to college, like when i said one time, as a joke, 'i cant wait to go to college because then i won't have to do chores! woo hoo!' (which i know i'll have more chores, but hey i was just joking). My dad then said, 'well we'll be glad to see you gone, too.' um hello?????? i told him i was joking but he still got mad at me, like i had said i hate my family. In reality, my family has some major issues (untreated mental illness on my mother's part and the past two years consisted of getting my sister admitted into a mental hospital in another country so we had to move in my senior year, etc) and i can't wait to leave, but i would never tell them that and that doesnt mean i dont love them. AAAAAAA no matter what i say to them, they won't believe me! Any advice?</p>

<p>My daughter and I are very close. We spend a lot of time together. This year we have been fighting more. My daughter wrote a very nice letter to me recently. She said she thinks we are fighting more because we are upset about leaving each other. We often have a hard time telling people how we really feel. I think your parents are upset to see you leave, that's why they are making fun of you. When you joke about "happy to leave," it hits too close to home. I think you will continue to pick on each other until you leave, just like my daughter and us. This is just a natural process. Have some patience with your parents, and do tell them that you will miss them. This is very hard on us. You will only be home for another 3 months.</p>

<p>poor MB! (and I mean that - absolutely no sarcasm intended at all). It is so hard when the kid has to be the grown up one! </p>

<p>I think it's very likely that oldfort has hit the nail on the head. It is very hard to see your children leave you behind (and it sounds like you are launching off in a direction that they never had the opportunity to, so while they are most certainly happy for you, they might be a bit jealous too). And in your particular family situation it sounds like they may also be watching their "rock" walk out the door toward her own future. It's hard all around (in fact, in the Parents' Forum there's an entire thread devoted to how awful the summer before the kids leave for college can be - misery and mistreatment for all concerned), but I feel for you!</p>

<p>I would suggest that you try to maintain the mature approach you have obviously already taken to the many changes in your family's circumstances. Know that this is a difficult time for your parents as well as for you, and that, although things may get dicey between now and September, they certainly love you and will miss you (whatever other unhappy feelings they may give voice to in the meantime). And besides, you're going to college in the fall - HOORAY for you! Good work!</p>