<p>I recently started going to parties. I occasionally drink and smoke but i am always responsible about it. I would never drive under the influence, and i don't hook up with a lot of random guys. </p>
<p>Problem: My parents are VERY suspicious. I usually sleep over at my friend's house when i go to parties, but now they won't let me anymore. They have no proof but they won't get off my back. I know they want what is best for me, but i bust my ass in school and i don't think i could handle another 9 weeks of school if i knew that i wouldn't be able to go out anymore. </p>
<p>Any tricks of the trade on this? Suggestions on gaining my parents' trust? Anything?</p>
<p>P.S. Don't lecture me on the dangers of drinking and smoking. I have heard them all before and I know what I am doing.</p>
<p>Why don't they want you to go to parties? Perhaps you should have a serious discussion with them about why they don't want you to go and why you want to go. Maybe you can reach some sort of agreement. </p>
<p>When I first started going to clubs and parties, I was 15 and my parents weren't so happy about it. In the beginning I'd lie and say I was going over to friends, but after awhile they didn't buy it. So we talked about it and set up some simple rules. I had to be home at a certain time, I wasn't allowed to drive with anyone who had been drinking, I couldn't take the trains/subways after 12:00, etc. I always followed their rules and gained their trust. So now the rules are essentially gone. The same with my younger brother, who just turned 16. If they know where you are and what you are doing they should be more comfortable about it. I think its the uncertainty that kills them. They are afraid something bad might happen to you and they'd have no idea where you are.</p>
<p>I'm not quite sure about that theory, scarletleavy.</p>
<p>(I would think) A lot of parents would be concerned about the drinking and smoking that was going on (I'm not saying that they wouldn't care about not knowing where s/he was) mainly because [insert anti-smoking rant]. They might be concerned about his health rather than just knowing where he is. But, ya never know.</p>
<p>I guess you could talk to your parents, but if they say 'no', you're going to need to respect their wishes. 6 months really isn't that long.</p>
<p>Well it all depends on the parents. I think a responsible parent would accept that their kid wants to party and take all the necessary precautions so they don't get hurt or mess up. I know parents who have forbidden their kids from partying and guess what they still go, but if they get in trouble they won't call their parents for help. </p>
<p>I guess it all depends on how virulently anti-party they are.</p>
<p>That's a bummer...sorry, no advice for ya. My parents know that I'm going to drink, etc. (uh, duh...college is only a few months away) and they're cool with it. They just always tell me that if I'm drinking, I sure as hell better not drive. As long as I don't act like a complete idiot and keep myself out of any serious trouble, they're fine with it.</p>
<p>Lol, I would feel bad deceiving my parents and anyway my mom would seriously merc me if I came home drunk/stoned. Just refrain till college if u must.</p>
<p>I'm not into the party scene too much, more like a few nights of drinking between a few friends. I just tell them I'm staying at a friend's house, which is most often the case anyways. Since they know most of my friends really well, it's usually just more of a formality to tell them. Sometimes I lie about which friend, but that's only if I'm staying with a friend they wouldn't let me stay with (i.e. a girl's house or whatever).</p>
<p>As long as I call when I get there, and promise not to drive anywhere late at night (which I'd never do regardless), I've earned their trust over the years enough that they won't call or anything.</p>
<p>I feel sort of bad manipulating my parents, but mine are super suspicious, too.</p>
<p>One thing that sort of got my parents off my back over spring break was to give a mini-confession to my mom. I told her only part of a story: I came home early because a friend my mom doesn't like started drinking and called over her boyfriend, a guy my mom hates even more than the girl, and was planning some crazy stuff. I came home because I didn't feel comfortable. While that didn't exactly happen like that (I toned down the crazy stuff they were planning), it let my mom know that I have my limits and that even if I'm around stuff like that, I know I can always leave. </p>
<p>It didn't get my mom off my case completely, but it did let her know I was at least behaving sort-of responsibly.</p>
<p>same problem. i wish i could just be honest with my parents (or semi honest), but my biggest fear is that it will backfire and they won't allow me to hang out with my friends anymore.</p>
<p>The last time I did it I went back to my friends house and we got caught. My mom had no idea that I was doing it then, or for the past year. She's okay with it, as long as I do it responsibly and tell her beforehand.</p>
<p>I will begin partying when I leave the house, since doing so now would be impossible. I have no mode of transport nor social connections anyway, but I do have a pair of very strict parents. College tends to erase the transport and parents, however.</p>
<p>Mm.. ironic. Better to just not do it and just not take the risk. Sure you think you have it under control right now, but you'll get addicted eventually.</p>