Personal Issue at College

Student Lounge College Life
1

Hi,
It’s 10PM I can’t believe I’m actually writing something here to ask for advice. Normally I prefer sorting out personal issues my own. If someone can give me some helpful advice please do. I really appreciate. If anyone finds my post irritating, I’m sorry. So, here is the thing. I’m studying at a business specialized school, which is really great. Apart from many cool things at my school, there are something I don’t like too. So my school has a really unique vibe of its own. I don’t know if because it is a business specialized school so everyone is super competitive with each other or not. But overall everyone is quite individualistic and separated. I found my group of friends. But honestly people here easily feel isolated. Ok so anyways, I have a group of friends but I only have one best friend and he is from another country. He is the kind of person that I can tell anything to and we literally do everything together. I thought of him as my brother.

You know those kinds of people that like flirting each other on the behalf of “best friends”. We are not like that. Like we keep the line really clear and like we never do anything or say anything cheesy. Just like normal best friends fighting playfully a lot. I know he has a gf in his country too. Then one day his gf came visit, and I don’t know why looking at them holding hands gives me this irritating feeling in my chest. I feel guilty and was trying to convince myself that I was being delusional. So a long story short, I cant believe I fell in love with my freaking best friend, who I’m not supposed to feel that way for. I feel extrememely guilty and at the same time I question myself really much. My confidence has never been lower. I can’t face him. I can’t talk to my friends about this either because I don’t want anything to go awkward in the future.

So yeah, the story of my life

2

Are you “in love” in that you are desiring a romantic relationship with him or is it that you feel jealous that his girlfriend is visiting and taking away his time and attention while she is there? In either case, the feelings you are having are normal and not unexpected (except by you at the moment). However, the issues to learn to cope with are slightly different depending on the root of the emotions. Noone likes to have negative feelings but they are a fact of life. And whether or not it is a "romantic " feeling, friends do fall in love with one another. Relationships are all about connection and often love even if platonic.

3

This is really common. I think you need to reassess the value of this friendship. Either you tell your friend how you feel about him once the girlfriend is gone, or you stop spending so much time with him and cultivate your other friendships. If you continue to see him a lot, you are simply rubbing your face in it and you will be torturing yourself. If you can handle the possibility of losing his friendship, tell him the truth and hope for the best. If you can’t handle that, stay quiet and limit your interactions. Your call.