Petty arguments before college

<p>I heard this happens sometimes before college, where friends will get into stupid fights. It kind of happened to me with one of my friends already, but then we dismissed it and hung out so everything was fine.</p>

<p>I'm moving across the country in about two weeks, and I have a lot of friends, all who I want to see before I leave. That being said, I've been contacting a lot of people and organizing gatherings or parties. I thought that this is perfectly fine to do?!</p>

<p>When I was texting my friend yesterday, who was on a road trip with another friend and my ex, the texts got kind of mean. I was indirectly called an ******* and told that they had better things to do than text me (the way I see it, if you don't want to stop talking to somebody you just stop texting).</p>

<p>It's stupid, hence the title, but I was really confused because I thought these were all nice friends of mine. What do you think? I was being annoying or reacting sensitively to a sausage fest? What to do with stupid arguments like these? I don't want to leave mad at people, or vice versa.</p>

<p>What? This is stupid. Your friends are stupid. Go party with other friends. Its most probable that the texts got mean because of the ex or guy friends just trying to look cool and badass.</p>

<p>forget that. do you. you thought they were nice friends and now you see what kind of friends they really are. you don't need that type of negative energy around you.</p>

<p>its pretty much natural that friends and even families will get into petty fights before the students leave to college.... the thing is, its easier to move away from family and friends if you are angry at them... you have a feeling of 'i dont need them anyway... i could do this on my own.... finally, im out of that place...' its much easier for most people to leave being angry instead of sad that they are parting, hence all the petty arguments, usually over nothing</p>

<p>I don't know if there is much you can do to fix it being that you are going to college pretty soon. Plus, even if you stayed on good terms with them, you will probably make grow more distant from them as you find your niche in college.</p>

<p>A lot of petty arguments over here with my parents.</p>

<p>Also, its very possible your friend took a text the wrong way and got angry... misinterpretations are really frequent in texting or forum posts like this.</p>

<p>What happened is one guy stole my friend's phone and started playing around with while I was texting, and I think they were handing it off to each other. The last text really sounded like my ex, (the one indirectly calling me an *******) which kind of made me confused because I thought we were fine? If anybody has anything to say about anybody, I think they should just say it to their face instead of hiding behind a friend's cell phone.</p>

<p>People who are on the move a lot (military, foreign service, missionaries, etc) often have a "quick drop" response when they learn they are about to leave for another posting. There's not tears -- just "see ya around" -- and off they go. There can actually be a delicious time when one is listing all the things/people/hassles they will NOT be missing -- all of this listing is while one is in transit to the new locale (i.e. before the short comings of the new place are known)</p>

<p>I think the business of being casual to surly about departing may be a little bit of a psychological protective barrier. "I am SO OUTTA HERE " or "SO DONE WITH YOU" is embracing and invigorating -- and does not leave room for feelings of insecurity. </p>

<p>You have a lot of friends YOU want to see before you leave -- and yet some of them may be feeling bitter/morose/sad that they are staying put or nearby. All you can do is be cheerful and extend an opportunity to meet up. Some will not want to -- and those that do may be cheered themselves if you confess to some anxieties about going. Be generous and kind -- always a good way to exit! Good luck!</p>

<p>It's a natural defense mechanism to try to pull away emotionally from people you know you'll have to learn to live without soon. Try not to be too hard on them; this is a tough transition for all of you.</p>

<p>I agree with HoppingLass, it does seem to be a sort of pre-college anxiety reaction.</p>

<p>These things do tend to happen - one of my friends recently got angry at all of us last week and wrote a long and angry post on facebook. A lot of the advice from her acquaintances was "ditch them and never talk to them again." One girl even told me "don't try to fix it, since obviously neither of you want to," though honestly she had no idea how either of us felt. Well, I actually know my friend and myself, and I knew that both of us would have felt bad forever if we'd just dropped our friendship like that.</p>

<p>The point of this story is that my friend and I worked things out, and we were both happy that we did. Don't listen to advice of "just drop it," because you'll still feel bad about losing a friend like that, even if it initially makes you feel better to say "they suck, who needs them." </p>

<p>Try talking to your friends when they get back, they probably feel stupid being such jerks. If they don't want to apologize...just let it go, since you realize that it's a dumb argument. There's no reason to burn your bridges if you don't have too. And just keep on organizing activities with all of the friends you can.</p>

<p>What I'm concerned about is that I thought my ex boyfriend and I were finally starting to be friendly towards each other (before we just ignored each other) but then the texts sounded really spiteful. I don't know whether I should confront him about it and ask him what was up. For all I know it could have been a misunderstanding?</p>

<p>But what Lumine mentioned makes sense. I've noticed that even though I've been inviting him to tons of things (movies, dinner, or kareoke with friends) he's always been "busy" and can't make it, which makes me wonder whether he's been intentionally avoiding me.</p>

<p>Bahhhhhh.</p>

<p>was it a bad breakup?</p>

<p>I don't think there is such a thing as a "good" break up, but it wasn't terrible. I broke up with him 6 months ago (I thought I had pretty good reasons) and he seemed pretty apathetic towards the whole thing. But then again, I know that he's pretty good at hiding his emotions when he wants to. Silly boys!</p>

<p>The guy who owns the phone apologized to me for them, which was nice of him but awkward because he wasn't the one who sent the texts? (I was right, they had been bored.)</p>

<p>On another note, now that college is looming closer over the horizon, a lot of people are breaking up after they just got back together. Hmm awkward....</p>