Please c:

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Hey guys! Would you mind reading my essay & giving it some constructive criticism? Thanks!
Prompt: Is deception ever justified?</p>

<p>Essay:
Deception is a part of everyday life, whether it is parents hiding something from their children or the government choosing not to disclose information to the general public. In any case, deception is never justified, because in the long run, it may bring upon disastrous consequences.
Deception is a major part of filial living. For example, a teenager when asked of his/her whereabouts, may lie to evade the punishments of the parents. However, in the long run, the momentarily escapement of a current problem may lead to more lies and general mistrust among the families.
Consequently, it is just as disastrous if parents use deception to lie to their children. Say that the father in a family loses his job, and over time, the family’s income depletes and they are in financial crisis. If the parents hide this from their children, it can only lead to more mistrust and lies. Telling the kids, on the other hand, could benefit them to realize and accept the common problems of the real world.
While deception may solve problems for the time being, it is the perfect epitome of mistrust and general disaster. While a situation may be ineffable and tempting to hide, it is always better to tell the truth and maintain trust rather than hide the true story. Deception is never justified; while it may be problem solving for the current situation, it will always harm in the future.</p>

2

<p>i know, it’s tiny :c</p>

3

<p>3 or 4. You mention both family and governmental deception in your intro, but only address one. You should also review the comma rules. Furthermore, avoid using words of which you aren’t certain of the meaning.</p>

4

<p>nnnnnnnnnnnn</p>

5

<p>I’m not of fan of the hypothetical examples. I don’t know, it just a seems like you should use a real example so the reader can connect more.</p>

<p>Also, you seem to contradict yourself. In your opening argument, you say that deception MAY have bad consequences. In your conclusion, you say that it will ALWAYS cause harm in the future.</p>

<p>I agree with ahammond in that you shouldn’t use words that you’re not familiar with. For example, ineffable is more associated with “sacred” or “indescribable” than something that is too harsh to say. Always pick the most appropriate word in the given context, whether or not it is used often. Of course, this implies that the word fits your tone and formality.</p>

6

<p>Thanks! This was actually one of the first essays I’ve ever written c:</p>